Tuesday, December 22, 2020

To Inspire, To Contribute, To be the Difference, To live a mark on this World.


 Growing old and dying is what gives meaning and beauty to the fleeting span of a human life. It's precisely because we age and die that our lives have value and nobility. Strength is not a word that means much in regard to the flesh.


This week I am on leave and I decided to watch Demon Slayer: Mugen Train which was a continuation of the anime that I had watched on Netflix previously. It is a great anime; worthy to be those anime that had made an impact on my life. The quote was by the Flame Hashira, Kyojuro Rengoku who made that remark to the demon Akara. There were other quotes made by him to Tanjiro as well, like as he is the senior in the Demon Slayer Corps hence he has the duty to protect his juniors. Even at the cost of his life. 

Recently I have been doing a lot of thinking on what exactly are our purposes in this world. I like that idea that one day I would like to pass on my values and things that I had learnt to the next generation. At the very least, some of the values that I have taken aboard and mold into my personality. I have read many books and watched shows and anime. From these, I have also learnt many values from them. 

Ever since young, I have always struggled with finding the value of a human life. None of people who are closed to me are able to give me an answer that connected with me. There were times where some movies or anime quotes manage to move me, maybe it's because it's not my time to receive the lesson. Until today. 

The above quote is a great example on why we as humans do not have immortality even though I am sure we as a race, will always go searching for it. It is normal to die. We will go back to wherever we come from, be it the great cycle of the universe or the afterlife. There will be a time where our light will be off. Because we are not immortal, our lives have value as it is exhaustive. Every breath we take, every second the clock ticks, we are closer to the end of our time on this world. 

To Inspire, To Contribute, To be the Difference, To live a mark on this World. 

Right now, the present me have not much to offer to the next generation. I want to be able to pass down things that I have learnt and believed to the next generation. I know that I am not strong enough yet like Tanjiro when he realised that he cannot help Rengoku. For far too long, I have been mucking around, spending time wallow in my own incapability. 

"Stand tall and be proud. No matter how weak or unworthy you feel keep your heart burning, grit your teeth and move forward. If you just curl up in a ball and hide, time will pass you by. It won't stop for you while you wallow in your grief."

Like in the second sentence of the quote, I have been known to do that even though I have been hearing similar quotes for a long time. It is very easy to do that, to keep replaying things in my head over and over again. Eventually times passes me by. Like the first sentence, as long as my heart is beating and there is a will to live, bear the pain and keep moving forward. Until the time where you know you did everything and have done what you wanted in this life. Death ultimately is also a choice. 

To achieve the quote in Purple, I have to change. I have the capability to change, to learn and absorb these teachings into my character, my values so that one day I can passed it forward. To be an example, the shining beacon for my sons, my daughters and whoever who come after me to carry with them and then for them to passed down to their successors. To be an educator for the next generation. 

Friday, October 30, 2020

Big Changes.

 Phew. Another year. But an unprecedented year indeed. Got married. Have my own place. Additional family. A Global pandemic. No Honeymoon. No twice a year travels. Not meeting the 9 dragons enough. No longer parents helping to manage the house. Don't see my parents often. Have my own desktop PC. 

Big Changes indeed this year.

Up til as recent as yesterday, I had not really gotten used to this new life yet. I kinda get it now why some people teared up during their weddings especially the ladies. Its a life away from the comfort zone, our parents, our loved ones who we are used to see, to disturb, to play with every day. The household chores which always seems that as kids we are not used to always doing. The time taken for home cooked food, to wash, to prepare and to cook. Of course, the freedom to choose what to do with the time one has, means also greater freedom. 

At the same time, one has to take into account someone's else dreams and ideas of the future. Also, the future feels a bit more uncertain because every adult decision being made will have an impact on both our lives. It feels a bit empowering as it feels intimidating. 

After these few days of leave, hanging out with my parents at MBS on Monday, listening to Master Lynn on future predictions and just not thinking about work, I felt a lot more at ease. I probably will not be able to be like in the past where I can be more selfish and do things on my own without much thought. There will be changes to be made and new responsibilities being placed on myself as I get older. When the kids arrived, or even a dog arrived, it will be another round of re-adjustments again to both of our lives. Hopefully by then, I will be more prepared and mentally more grounded to handle it.