Weathering with You

It has been such a long time since I last watch a movie by myself, I reckon it has already been 11 years. Previously got a girl set in the same role as me . Unfortunately, this time is a guy. Haha. What to do, its an anime movie. It's good...in a way, I chose the very centre seat so it feels that I have this ultra huge screen and awesome surround sounds around me. Well including a couple behind who was quite noisy. But can tell that they are otakus also haha.

This was the next film after the successful movie " Your Name " by Director Makoto Shinkai. I would say that this time round, the storyline wasn't as awesome as "Your Name", but the effects and the art were awesome and very on point. I noticed it at the beginning when even a drop of water, the climbling of metal steps to cement steps all sound differnt. The various thunder sounds were also very on point. I remembered that in "Your Name", i teared but over here I wasn't that much affected. Can't say for the couple behind though. This time round, the movie was pretty direct and not as thought provoking as "Your Name".

I think "Your Name" was about what one's action will have a cause and effect on the future. Whereas in "Weathering with You", one'e action does not have much impact because ultimately either Nature or the various actions of society has a greater impact than yours. in WwY, it feels like what society's perceives of you is not important, because you are truly not that important in a world where everyone made their own decision and that it will generate a totally random result. In a way, this movie is to show to us that we don't have to place the world's burden on our own shoulders. It is perfectly alright to wish for our own desire. At the end of the day, it is what we truly want that matters the most. In a way, like the female lead in the anime, she had always just wished for others and always make the decisions that are deemed truly virtuous by society. Only for her to make the ultimate sacrifice that she thought( and every movie goer would think as well) so to save the whole humanity from the non stop rain. Eventually, she made her last wish for her self and the way sinks back to non stop rain.

Fast foward 3 years, was their decision the wrong one ? The whole tokyo is now flooded and the rain was still non stop. The male lead met a grandma who wanted to have sunlight 2 years back but now its already 3 years in the future, she has also gotten used to where she stays now. She made a remark that in the past, tokyo was truly a bay and that over the years a string of decisions by humans and the weather shaped it into the city that it is today. So she have accepted it and in a way, also accept that its nature reverting to her original form. So in the end, humans adapted to it and it didn't matter whether the female lead gave her life or not. Even though the weather didn't change, but for the male and female leads, they are together and that's what was important to them.

Changes. Adulting

I remember that previously I did have an entry on leadership. So yesterday, I was telling Cat about the Saturday event at Yan Cong place and I guess she was a bit stressed like about the wedding and what are the plans and schedule like. She was afraid of people asking her and she felt that it’s too stressful because I guess it’s like she feel that they judge her to a certain extent? Especially the ladies. My initial emotion was that of why she makes it sounds like so stressful and just be transparent about it. After which she was stressed by the bridesmaids request about the dresses and so she was going on about why she don’t like weddings and all. Technically, I don’t mind not having a wedding either but I concur with Wei Ren that wedding end of the day is like a form of respect to both families especially the elders. To not take them into account to me it’s kind of selfish as the younger generation. Of course, not to the extent that is life-threatening or financial-crippling kind of damage to us.

It kind of set the tone that in the future, with kids or not, I have to step up and make some calls and decisions in what I would term as day to day decisions. In the past or even now, staying at home with parents, it is very easy to overlook and take for granted certain things in life now. Like house work, house maintenance, ensuring that your spouse is happy and healthy, how to allocate enough time for extended families. Also, one has to take responsibility for your spouse reactions and actions. In the future, whatever decision was made on the kid will have a long lasting impact either on the kids’ lives or even on me and my spouse life.

Coupled with all of that, you yourself are still growing and learning as you age. Trying to figure out the future and how you want to live your life. Managing and balancing different parties and to get every parties involved to be on the same page, it’s definitely tough. It’s like how does one manage the executive committee at a company with the likes of the CEO, CIO, CFO and etc.

Career has definitely been put on a foothold currently while I am going thru this wedding and house renovation process. Also, bringing 2 different lifestyles and finances together, is going to take some time and clashes. It also feels like I have to take care of the wedding as well and need to plan on things and also to coordinate the various groups of people. It does seems and feel overwhelming but I know that Cat don’t exactly like these things and we could probably get a wedding stylist or someone to help. However, I don’t think it’s worth the money though.

I definitely need to find more time to do such things and at the same time balance the future dreams of mine as well. Slowly I need to change the way I do things and the time, effort, content and thoughts that I invest in myself. It's a brand new world.

The Frailties of the Human Society

As the news of Hong Kong persistent demise into anarchy, it just shows how easily humans can slip into chaos and lawless-ness. This is a good example how easily a society which has long pride themselves on safety and order can so easily slide into weekly affairs of violence and chaos. Here in Singapore, we also have to be mindful of such a possibility and not take whatever peace we have in here for granted. Civic protests are all good and all but once violence have taken a hold and proven effective. Riots and chaos will start to reign. What had started with good meanings has given way to something more violent and incomprehensible. Truly the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

From the looks of it, the government in Hong Kong has lost all power and control in the city. It is natural for the Mainland to assimilate more of Hong Kong back into China, by removing barriers; it causes an open market to sky rocket and is out of reach of middle and low income groups of society. It made housing even more unattainable for the locals; it robs these groups of society of hope and dreams. I believe that this is a classic case of how government’s decision to open up markets can lead to such catastrophes. Basic needs of any society should only be a public good and not treated as a private good. Open market forces have always shown that the invisible hands of the market can bring great returns for the players but yet also a great loss for them as well. In this case, the welfare loss to society is huge and the rich gains the most from this.

Basic needs are like commitments. Commitments are never meant to be taken with a huge amount of risk. One does not simply use their parent’s retirement funds to gamble. It is the same as in this case. Yes. With an open market, in order to provide the best possible housing as it is profit driven, developers will always strive to do better. However, without control, any good which is limited as land in this case, will only result in the majority of society having less access and the welfare loss growing ever so big.

When basic needs are not met, society tends to be unmotivated, a lack of purpose which will eventually leads to a hopeless future. Similarly to an animal driven to a corner with nowhere else to go, what will it do? Even the most docile animal will retaliate and force it way out. Either one tries and survives or it dies. Survival instincts kick in.

Humans are no exception to the rule. Regardless of whatever morals or values that one holds, when faced with a survival situation, there will be many who will throw such concepts out of the window so to ensure their survival. Granted that there are some who will uphold their principles to the very end but how many are able to do that? Will it be the majority that will still uphold their principles? It is possible but it is never a definite.

Did both the HK and Mainland government thought about these when the barriers are lifted? Even without the barriers being lifted, the issue with an open property market is still there and eventually it will still blow up.

Did the authorities try to rectify the problem by improving public housing? Apparently, under pressure from the private sector, the authorities decided to just ignore the problem and resulted in this ticking time bomb.

If ever one day, Singapore has also chosen to go down a similar path with basic needs being privatized and being risked, we too would also fail as society will thins and eventually break. Whatever talk about democracy or freedom of speech or equality will be thrown out of the window and only in favor of whom can provide us the access to basic needs. It has been proven in history as how Hitler came into power and history tends to repeat themselves in some way or another. If ever that day should come, I will not hesitate to look for alternative places as a backup to secure a future for my family.

What is left for the locals in HK now? Regardless whether they can accept it or not, HK will always be part of China. There is no way for the locals to refute or change that fact. If anything, the authorities will have to hold their hands up and admit their mistakes and start to listen and care more for the greater parts of society. And for the mainland government to truly win the hearts and minds of the HK locals, they will do well with starting to solve the lack of basic needs(which is the bulk of the feelings of protestors) and not see these protests as a rejection of their authority.

On Leadership

Leadership. I have always thought that leadership skills are only for 1) People who want to be leaders. 2)
People who are leaders. 3) People who are in management or leadership position. In recent times,
somehow a thought came through my mind ever since I had been listening to motivational
speeches/podcasts.

Take charge of my life.

Ever since both cat and me have announced that we are getting married end of the year and have
embark on the numerous things an engaged couple should do, it has been a whirlwind and decisions
have to be made consistently. In a way, it does take the romance out of the relationship as we need to
decide and budget and all the logical stuffs while thinking of the wedding and preparations.

Ever since the turn of the year, I have been just going with the currents if I were to put it metaphorically.
It’s draining definitely. Then gout happens, colleagues are leaving BNP, economy doesn’t seem to be
well. Such incidents are like rocks you bump into and rolled by while the current brings you downstream.

So why leadership?

A leader is someone that takes charge and be responsible for his team or own actions. Someone who
provides the direction of the ship. The Capitan. The Head Honcho. 2 words stand out here. Takes Charge
and Be Responsible. I think why now leadership is also because due to the many decisions that I had to
make this year and I am responsible for cat’s life decisions too. So I have to lead Cat now unlike in the
past where I can be selfish and avoid or divert these decisions away from myself.

I believe I have all along been someone who is adverse to making and committing to decisions. Well, to
put it harshly, I am always looking for excuses to not make decisions. Especially hard ones. I will just
plain avoid and then let others decide instead. But it became to dawn to me that if its decisions related
to cat and me. No one else will be able to decide for us, and also some decisions may not be aligned
with our interests as well. So to put it bluntly, the reason probably why I had bouts and blogposts over
these 2 years were down to excuses and a lack of leadership on my part.

Courage is part of leadership.

One of the things that I consistently berate myself for is the lack of courage. I am ham chi. Cat and I
kinda know that part already. In some ways, courage is a part of leadership. Courage to take on the
responsibility. Courage to make the call at that given point of time.

Conclusion is that I now have to be improve on my leadership. Change my mindset and work towards to
be a good leader. For cat and for my life. Think in terms of a leader and how to maximize my potential.

Acceptance

Just watched Cars 3 the Movie on Netflix. You know? I don't know about most people but I always believe that movies and some other tv content are there for a reason, for an opportunity to tell a story or a set of moral values or even just for the purpose of scaring people. Whatever the hidden meaning, any content that is put out there and broadcasted to the world are there for a reason, good or bad.

In this movie, I was taught a lesson on Acceptance. In the movie, one can see that our old hero,Lightning Mcqueen have became slower and that there is a new generation of car racers. Initially he was in denial, he couldn't accept that he will no longer be a racer and that he is losing. Somehow, he manage to meet up with a younger car who have dreams of being a racer and later realise that at the end of day, the spirit of racing lives on forever but his body cannot handle it and that it is time to pass on that spirit to the new generation. He accepted the fate and also accepted the truth. He did not stop being a racer, he still loves racing and through coaching, he is still able to be part of racing.

For me, I too hope to leave a part of myself in the next generation, be it my kids or the younger generation at my workplace. However, this is not my time to be a coach yet. I have only been through 6 years of working life although I have lived on this planet for 31 years. In such terms, I am probably still considered to be young and have plenty of energy left in the tank for me.

What I believe I have to accept is the following.

1. My body/health needs to be better maintained.
2. I am where I am because of the choices I made.
3. I am low on confidence.
4. I am not where I should be and I am not sure where too.
5. I always worry how others see me.
6. I am unable to concentrate for a period of time. Easily distracted.
7. I don't always finish what I started. 
8. I am not losing weight enough.
9. I am not patient enough with my Parents.
10. My decisions does not involve only myself anymore and have to include cat more.
11. In recent times, been absorbed in the sneakers/bags geek movement.
12. That I am 31 years of age.

It is very easy to list down the above but yet tough to go ahead and change the above. However it is not impossible. 

Had a heart to heart talk session with myself, I have decided I need to make certain lifestyle changes and also a character reboot. As for the career side, I think I should try out data analytics and see where that will bring me. Those in green I believe are crucial to me and will try to improve on them. 

Hopefully..no...I will start to change and believe once more in human adaptability and the fighting spirit of humans. 

It is what it is.

In a blink of an eye, its another year and this is the first post of the new year 2019. Towards the end of 2018, things had been interesting. I had went for more and more interviews and felt that I am closer to leaving BNP behind. Alas, I am still here at the beginning of another year. Reservist has also passed and we have managed to clear our Etest and gotten a high grade for it. Yays! Though personally, I feel that we are not up to the standards that I think we should be. As compared to the active days, I would say my performance were quite sub-par. But, somehow the entire company passed so there you have it. 

This year is also shaping up to be a busy and life changing year with the wedding and soon to be getting my own house. Its actually quite a step up I have to say, still feel a bit daunting.Who would have thought I was actually looking forward to such a day 4 years ago, I feel a bit nervous about it now.But somehow, ring, wedding venue and bridal package have already been bought and settled already. 

At Edwin place or somewhere, heard him tell Jia Xin something about finding that significant other. To outsiders, he married his JC sweetheart, so it's like love and destiny must have played a huge part of it.  To him, he felt that because this relationship is one that he puts in effort and care maintaining and that Sharon also does the same, that's why it work out. There can be a few people out there that you are compatible with but there will eventually be one that you will want to put in effort and heart into it. And I can relate to that, there had been quite a bit of girls that I felt that I am compatible with and my train of thought were similar to but in the end, I chose Cat and this is the r/s that both of us work hard with and stick with it throughout. Adjusting and getting used to each other. Of course, there were times when the "What If?" creeps into my mind. Just the other day, while Cat and me were at Hyatt. I bumped into Lisian and her Fiance who is quite tall mind you. I didn't really say hi and just wondered whether was he the guy that she was still waiting for since 10 years ago. I remembered that we two hit off pretty well and have some kind of HTHT in the past which makes me change my perception of her. Thinking back, maybe she wasn't so daft as I had initially made her out to be. But it was nice seeing her and she also getting married.

Managed to finish 12 episodes of Sherlock, Benedict Cumberbatch is good and the story telling was great. Though somehow the ending of it does seems a bit off putting, since the hype of it was so much and in the end, the scriptwriter decides to bring about the message of emotions. Its kinda bereft of the logic thinking and plot twists of the earlier episodes and more of a rush end instead. The quote that ended the season was " It is what it is."

I shall leave this here for me to ponder in the future.