Human and God

Pig: After hearing what you said, I realise you also only human.

Me: Huh? u mean I was god?...haha

this few short phrases seem to stuck in my head sia...lolz...i thot i am always human de...HAHA...ooh so u mean i am quite pro hur...ROFL...better go and ask pig again after ccs birthday=P...lolz

what a week...seriously...emotional ups and downs...tired and out...but at least I learn something about the pain body and the unconcious in one's mind.

4 'centuries' of posts...

Well this will be my 400th post ever since my blog's birthday was in somewhere in 2005. Well statically, it will be like 80 posts a year, which will also means average 6 to 7 posts a month...lolz...

300th post was 1st day at IRAS working.(2009)

200th post was an outing with the E8 and others at minds(2007)

100th post was a end of the week report,about my commando medical and surprising sam=P(2006)

so the above are some information for u guys...haha

Anws, this week had passed rather quickly as usual...monday went for lessons then tuesday and wednesday went to study, but wednesday didnt do much, and thursday went to work. Suppose today also go study, but cuz mum not feeling well so I stayed at home as well lor...and I cant really do much studying at home anws...lolz..maybe for the time being bah...haha...

Today woke up at a freakin late time at 11am...super late by my standards..must be damn shag from work le...haha...old liao...then watched History channel about da vinci. I must say that its really quite humbling to note that this is a man who in an era where technology and science is hardly around and might I put it, considered to be anti-religion, and yet be able to invent and create so many pieces of art. And when I meant art, I also meant the engineering side as well. In his drawings and archives, he apparently create a wooden robot and also create a robotic knight and he didnt even use programming chips...all he used was just chains and gears. He also delved into aviation technology, trying to create human flight, he devised of ways to divert rivers and he even went into human biology( by dissecting dead bodies=$). A professor who is following on da vinci, said that one of da vinci's traits is that he always look for concrete observations before finding a trend and goes on to invent something. Like him, financial gurus like Jim Rogers and Warren buffet also looks at trends and made their own observations, and then they apply their own kind of system aka logic into whatever they do. I have to admit that my style of valuating a security is way off from them, and I think thats because of my lack of observations and the thirst for my information regarding the factors that affects a security. Well, take for the genting stock that I owned now, I never really went to observed what actually might caused it to be a flop and all and whether there is any potential in it. I just threw $$ into it and now I had already lost let me see...close to hundred?...well but at least its a good lesson. Once again, emotions had entered into my decision making again, which is totally no-no in this biz, but of course there is a gut feeling as well bah.

Round round like a merry go round....I am seeing circles and more circles...GG man...seriously GG

Just got back from my grandma's place for dinner. Along the way, my mum told me that my grandma wants me to visit her more often and learn whatever cooking techniques that she knows to me. My 1st initial reaction was like 'why me?' 'how come its always me?'....those thoughts that ran through my mind. Shouldn't it be my mum?...and when my mum said that, I feel kinda stress and guilty to some extent, because she told my mum that she wants to teach me while its still possible...those words seriously hit me very hard...and I think brings me to the world of the adults. The world where I so hard tried to resist, I wanted to be selfish, to do what and when I like...I guess maybe I need a change of mindset.

I realised that I am someone who likes to shun away from a lot of things, like things that I didn't intend to pick up or things that are not part of my plans. It might be the 'spoilt' mentality in me, or the adverse part of me that is reacting. Eventually I find excuses and ways to avoid it, i think the most famous one is the just let time flows lor...and when I think back of all the things that I missed, its all down to me being soft on myself and being a coward. So, when my grandma tells my mum those words' while its still possible'...I was really quite shaken somewhere...cause its like for the first time, my grandma is really old and all. And suddenly, time seems to fly...

I need to change my mindset, to accept the notion of not having those 'stoning' times, to learn about commitments...this year will be different.

Narcissist Epidemic

Well, as usual today is a sunday, and as usual I am on a lookout in the Sunday Times for lee wei ling's article in the papers. FYI: she is MM Lee's daughter. (so u can guess her age bah=P)...Anws, I always enjoy reading her articles because of her unique " i dun care " attitude reflected in her writings. And today, there was a very interesting writing by her. She wrote about our island's youth being very much self-centered and less driven. And she coined the term, Narcissism Epidemic. She wrote that she had observed that the new generations of doctors( as she is from the medical field) is getting more 'spoilt', and often complains about how tough are the systems and all. She also touched upon the various causes for this epidemic, like family upbringing to the school environment.

The term narcissism refers to the personality trait of egotism, which includes the set of character traits concerned with self-image ego.

The above is the definition for narcissism. As one can see, its when someone is very concerned about his own self more than others. And one will be more important than others. I have to agree with lee wei ling on this matter, as I know that I am kinda narcissist as well=P. Like what most psychologists has said, in every of us, there is some narcissistic elements in all of us. So, the question that had popped in my head was : " Are we , the next generation, that narcissist and lack of drive?"

I have to acknowledged the fact that most of us, generally has a 'Me first' mindset in all of us, and it might be due to our competitive environment that we are living in. Remember the word 'kiasu' ? Its about us singaporeans whom are scare to lose out...so it is no surprise that we eventually turn out to have this kind of 'me first' thinking. I think that this is something, as human beings we can improve on, because how many times have we heard of singaporeans being bo chap and all.

Another aspect is our lack of drive. History has shown that when anyone is push into a corner, then they will fight. During WW2, Great Britain was constantly bombarded by the luftwaffe bombers, and yet the men still constantly work in the weapons factory overtime to produce weapons for the armed forces out there. There is no pay, and all, but they still went all out. Why? to accomplished their dream of being able to survive, to win the war. So it always seems that hardship is the way to create this kind of drive, to in built these into people. Of course, like wei ling had said, its weird to create hardship for our young, and I agree with her. She proposed schools to nurture pupils and for parents to not spoiled their kids. However, I feel that this is always a very difficult way to apply as she is proposing all these measures in a macro way but on a more intimate level, its difficult to apply lor.

Thinking back, I also have some friends who somehow seems stagnant in their lives currently and often wonder when will they hit their big break and achieved things. On the other hand, I have friends who are already successful in their own ways. After reading a lot of biographies as well as books about successful people, I realised that it is truly the drive that separates the winners from the stagnants. That may very well be their secret after all.

Togo shoot out at African Confederations Cup( ANGOLA)

Recently, the Togo national soccer team came under fire during their ride to Angola. And eventually the assistant coach and the team physio. was killed along with the bus driver. Apparently, the Angola government was saying that the team should have noticed them that they were arriving by bus and that they should have taken the plane approach like every other african teams due for the african confederations cup. Of course, now Angola officials are pointing fingers and trying to keep the situation under control. I wonder how the world cup is gonna be held at this rate, with security being so weak and though south africa doesn't have the civil wars that angola is facing, but they have the one of the highest murder rates in the world.

Apparently from the web, Angola is one of the fastest growing economies in the African continent, as they have an abundance of oil and diamonds. But, the ghost of the civil wars have not been exorcised yet, with corruption still rampant as Angola is ranked one of the top 10 most corrupted country in the world. And there are still plenty of anti government groups which performed regular guerrilla's attacks against the government as shown in the recent shootout. Its really sad, that to see such things happening in the world and that people are using armed weapons to go against the government but I would say this was inevitable. Even though Angola's economy is doing very well, but the wealth is not transfer to the country's population and I dare say that the government has pocketed a significant sum of money. The country will continue to have its fair share of such terrorist attacks until the government has been toppled and unless the new leaders are much more transparent in their dealings and most importantly, the transferring of the nation's wealth to its citizens. Only then will the country progress and security will definitely improved as well.

Some might have argued that the groups shouldn't have attacked the togo team and wait until the whole event is over and resumes the fight because it is not benefiting the country...and if the ACC is seriously cancelled due to this, imagine what it will do to the economy and the reputation of the country. But, I have to say, looking at the big picture, they don't really bother and they might have made use of this incident so to make their case furthur known to the world and hope that a saviour might appear and help them or its another way to irritate the government and cause it to collapse, which is their main objective. In their mind, is to bring down the current government, and all these anti-government sentients are derive because the citizens are not taken care of, and when humans are face with survival...there is only one way, its to fightback...and here we see the results of a country which has a BIG economy but the citizens are suffering.Until the day where the government is relatively clean and the people are fed-up with years of fighting, will we see an improvement in their standards of living and a much safer country.

I guess its kinda frightening for the togo players like adebayor, cuz its like they are faced with the possibilities of death right in their very eyes and that the enormous amount of salaries they command aren't gonna save them. Maybe they might become better persons because of this incident. But hey, its god damn traumatizing sia...

To sum this up, this incident goes to show that africa is still rather very much in civil wars and arm conflict even though it has been 20 years since Jim rogers said that africa will be a good country to invest and all...but I think human conflicts are not easily solved in decades and some might even last for centuries. Maybe for people like us, sitting at home and watching the TV or analysing the situation can never understand the emotions that filled those people and what they are going through, and thats why I dont condemn such attacks neither do I condone them. At to think such an event just happened in early 2010, wonder what else have this tiger year set to offer us (surprise us) in the next 12 months.

Forest of the Unknown

On thursday, I went thru the world of cosmetics...i saw THE PRIMER, BIG and small foundations...I have no clue wads going on...I was lost...enough said, but i have survived.

Big Man in White

Yesterday, saw a newspaper report on CJC. Its about brother paul leaving CJC and going to take over the la selle college in Melbourne. As he was one of the last church people that serves as principal of an education institution in singapore, the straits times ran an article on him. I hardly have much contact with the man himself, and I always heard both the good and bad views about him. Somehow, he has my respect maybe cuz he is strict and stuff...though he definitely have a funny side of him as well. We always call him BMW as evident in my title...and its really funny..BMW lai le...lolz

Although sam knows that I always complain about CJC last time, sometimes when I think back...there are still some positive things to take note lor...haha...anws BMW will always be remembered de...just like the teachers in st gab. whom have made a huge impact on me...and still remain close to them=) Wish him all the best in melbourne and hope that CJC under the new principal will be able to remain their good standings lor.

Emo...tion

Like I said earlier in the recent entries, the human mind keep replaying and replaying memories, images that might happened, images that I want to happen , the inevitable...its really annoying to some extent that I sometimes worry about the future too much. I think its something that is in us, I do not know whether its because of the different environments, that shaped us into today or wadsoever... But of course having said that, its human nature to be wary because like our ancestors before us, we are not like the animals out there...we only have our wits and we use our wits to overcome obstacles...emotions also defined us..and that is something that can destroy or help us. I dont advocate to be emotion-less and be totally rational, as we all know thats is damn impossible, but rather to managed it, to coax it into being our strength and not our weakness...However, emotions are like an ocean,utterly ferocious one moment and gentle the other. Which i think thats why we always hear the phrase' overflowing with emotion' as the word flowing is usually associated with liquid.

Emotions can sink us into the greatest depths by various means, like keep replaying of sad images/moments, modifying anything that others said into something negative and even in moments of silence, it will try to infiltrate your mind and whisper negative words into your mind...eventually one will experience emo-ness (haha my terms) and the long suffering ones will sink into depression...the darkest pits of the mind. However, emotions can also give us the additional boost that we all need in life, the focus on something that we want, our goals and we will stop at nothing to reach it. So , I was thinking are we at the mercy of Emotion? when will it help us? should we wait for Emotion to suddenly change from bad to good?...Or should we try to manage it? to try to use it for good..or rather to avoid being a victim of bad emotions...And thats where some methods like selective thinking will help in some sense I think...but it aint easy in doing all of that...as I think most of us are easily distracted. Another ways would be goals...so to focus on something...

Of course, there are some of u out there , whom have a really strong goal or mindset that such emotions don't really matter much to ya, and its quite true...that may be due to our genetic set-up or the environment that mould us into today. Anw, I just slot this in because I felt that I might have a little generalized people...so its a form of disclaimer=P

1st day of School in the new year and I was late by 1/2 hr

Today, can be said as a..er...quite a weird day so to speak...well early morning is routine as I had to wake up to make breakfast for ernest and mum( actually its lunch). Made smthg that is simple today lor, toast bread plus lettuce plus japanese sardine...then zhenni replied my sms in the morning...and she asked me whether want to have lunch together...ate claypot rice at clementi there. Then since lesson at 3.30 and I need to pop by Chevron, so I said oks lor...Half expecting that will meet up with some friends of hers and that I will zao to jurong east on my own. Well, she was alone after all...Think someone's words is causing a ripple in my tea cup... Anws, we went to eat the claypot rice..i would say, hai hao lor...maybe cuz I was kinda full.

Then, didnt really expect her to follow me to Chevron, but she quite nice follow me lo...actly I secretly thinks she want to go IMM de...lolz...so we went to Chevron, only to find that e-mart was not open...total pawned!!! then went to IMM and gai gai lor...drank at coffee club...I realised something similar is that somehow we ALWAYS ends up at some cafe to drink coffee de O.0...we talk about some spiritual aka mindsets stuff again...lolz...and her family issues lor. Eventually late for maths lesson by half an hour...not that it has any impact right?...lolz...

Well, I was thinking...we are quite similar in a lot of ways...like we both explore the thinking and mindsets of people, cooking aka experimenting, reading and somewhat we are both quite stubborn to some extent...I am seeing myself more in her sia...thats scary...lolz...and at times, she can be quite boring...dunno leh...maybe its the monday blues bah...

Regarding to the issues that I heard today, i think its really really sad that some people cannot get out of their own vicious psychological cycles in their lives...and maybe for the rest of their lives...Its even more so when it turn into a habit thing in the mind, and the mind or rather human naturally dont like to alter their habits one.

1st Entry of 2010

Well well...this is the 1st day of the new year and its also the start of a new DECADE , FOLKS!!!! 2010!!!!...which is also the WORLD CUP again!!!...wow...4 years le, since wei ren spilled curry on my house carpet!!!...haha

Spent dec 30 nite with Pig, we went to botanic gardens to see the trees and have some HTHT...haha...and there were a total of 150 trees that was light up sia!!!...damn coolz...and there is a tree that resembles the enywa in AVATAR, damn nice...and when the breeze blows, the lights also follows...really nice...sadly we dont have an ULTRA pro camera like an DSLR..haha..but its really nice lor...we did talked a little about some investments...it got my passion for investing up again..haha...On NYE, I spent my time at home sia...1st time in 3 years I think..haha...in the end, only me and my bro stayed up to watch the countdown party happening at Marina Bay...and as usual he was playing his PSP..And since i was a bit bored, I drank a bottle of ASAHI beer and watched da mouth performed, like their clubbing songs sia...lolz

Today, went to JB with my family lor, as parents want to gai gai a bit...as we all know about the weaker currency there, as usual, we spent on quite a couple of things lor...lolz...and we always eat japanese food as its cheaper and its real good!!!..hehe...didnt really shop for much clothes though...need to think what sort of style to go for during CNY le...lolz...anws today first day of new year, can be considered to be a kinda relaxing time...next week, I am gonna chiong le...and do things that I had set out what I wanna do and be a bit more SELECTIVE in my thoughts as well...haha...after another psychological debate with zhenni again, seems she always like to share with me such mind boggling thoughts...but well, it really stimulates my mind and its kinda interesting...lolz