Thursday, April 28, 2016

28 on 28 April 2016

Its my 28th year on this planet earth and here I am, sitting on a bar in Chye Seng Huat Hardware Coffee Shop. Waiting for my artisanal coffee being prepared by the barista at a corner. 28 years already.

It seems that I have lived a long time and that in my current state of some of my friends, they are already Dads and head of the family. Its like at 28 , we are expected to be matured and handle a lot of adult responsibilities. In actual fact, most of us , especially degree holders, we have only just entered the workforce a little more then 3 years ago. Seriously, I used to think that 30 years old is a pretty big number, its a number that one should be already married and that in a few years time, you are expected to be preparing to have a kid. And that Cat, recently, wanted to pursue Masters and a possibility that she might extend her stay in Ernst & Young, kind of alarm me. Marriage, wedding and stuff is at times to me, a bit of an obligation to my Grandparents. My Grandparents whom have been hoping to see their grandson start a family. To them, its like their wishes have been fulfilled. My Ah Gong, whom passed away earlier, did not get the chance to see Charmaine and Derek got married, to see his great-grandson. I know that Popo would want to see me get married too. And she is getting older too as well as my Gong-gong. 

However, I also know that I do not want to shortchange Cat's dreams as well. From a rational point of view, I am fully supportive of her dreams for a Masters. The young ones should not forsake their dreams for the older ones unless they are able to accommodate them. For her reason to possibly extend an additional year to get a better pay, I am not sure of that as her 1 year out of the workforce, will not be able to guarantee a similar pay scheme in the future. Of course, it will be higher then if she quit as plan. Additionally, I am also worried about the timeline for Cat to have kids. The golden period is from 30 to 40, and the nearer to 40, the more dangerous it is. In this aspect, I have to be the one to plan and accommodate these events that may/may not happen. Its a bit exciting and scary if you ask me. Don't get me started on housing as well. If we BTO as plan, then its another 5 years of waiting(Cat will be approximate 34). And logically, it will be more conducive to have kids if the place is ours, rather than a rented unit. So, if cat decides to extend an additional year, I might want to look at resale flats. Actually we should have look at it regardless of that decision. 

So, as you see, being 28 brings their own fair share of adult responsibilities. Having said that, for guys, its alright, I am just worried about Cat's health and also my grandparents wishes. Its a bit daunting and that being 28, its a bit unlike the ideal ' its my life, my own decisions' thought. Of course, its up to individual on how they want to live their life. Most importantly, its to live life happily and ensure that your partner is also happy. If cat decides to stay an additional year because of the exposure and the higher pay, and that she will regret in the future, I rather she just extend. That's my bottom line I guess. Like I said, the young ones should not sacrifice their dreams for the older ones. 

That's the responsibility portion of 28.

Now, every time I thought back, of the time where I just started working in BNP at age 25. Its only 3 years. Assuming that I will retire at age 64, I still have another 39 years of work in me. Of course, that's never my intention to retire so late. Hopefully, by 50, I am already a feet in retirement le. So, when you think about it, I am still quite young, I have many more years in me to play with. To achieve my goal of financial freedom. To be able to take on more risk. As much as I would love to be part of the hippie gang and travel round the world and all. Ultimately, the thing that riles me up is that I am able to create a portfolio, to be financially free, to be able to have passive income flowing in. If possible, the second stage I can be helping people and society. Its a bit like impact investing. That's something exciting to live for. 

My life has just started in that way. I think this is the ultimate direction I would want in life. I can scale back my travels for it, as much as i love travelling, I feel that this is more fulfilling. Its exciting just thinking about it. The road will be tough and as usual, my not so persistence self will set in and question my direction. All along I have not been able to find another direction yet, maybe this is not my ultimate goal in life, but its currently mine now. It has always been since I was 17 years old. 

Time to take back some control of my life. 28 and counting. Fight on Eugene, lets go to a better place. A place for you !!















Tuesday, April 05, 2016

To be free

Today, at work I happen to hit myself with another incident report again. And this time round, I can't really have any excuses for it. Eventually, I am also not really bothered by it either. Unlike the first time at equities or even at fund execution where I really panicked and emo about it. This time round I am more nonchalant about it. Rather, I just move on to the next thing that I had to do and all. Eventually, Kok Whee helped me to write it out, and I am once again lucky that my seniors always help me to type out incident reports and all.

However, it has dawn to me again that this is not where I should be. I think I have been pondering over such questions since I started to work in this bank. I kept asking such questions every so now and then. It feels like I do not below there, at the end of the day, I get a decent pay and very decent working hours. But somehow, this place does not seems right for me.

Everyday, I always ask myself, what's my goal?, whats my passion ? where to go ? what to do? It kind of dawn to me that , maybe just maybe, I should just put in the effort in the direction that somehow I had already set upon.

I will just have to proceed and continue my studies on fundamental analysis. I want to lose weight.I want to be financially free. Financially Free...Free