Although I don't listen to korean songs very often cuz half the time...oks almost the entire song I dont understand the lyrics at all. but I kinda like kelly's blog the song...lol...DBSK rite kel?...haha...must be the feelings they put in side and the way the tune of the song

Today took off becoz later got driving lessons and my TP test is approaching..on the 29th..pray hard tht I can passed man!!! then can fetch u guys around loh!!...hehe doubt my dad and mum trust me with my skills...lol...

I think I realised something today...I am lonely. Haha....sounds damn random isn't it ? When I am at home with my family, I still feel lonely...cuz most prob my bro will be trying to get to talk to me about games which I am not interested anymore or my parents will be watching TV and I am not interested and my sis will be mugging. Come to think of it, maybe I am the one who is isolating them...hmm...ok this must be further analyzed..will get to u in a while...haha...nonetheless I still feel alone in my world. Maybe its the fact that in the past I had things in my life..studies, games, basketball, Sam,etc. thats why I dont feel that way...now is like there is nothing much man...thats why I look forward to basketball sessions with the guys and likes to go out...I think its time I should again find something to keep myself occupied and always try to ask friends out to play pool or catch a movie...$$ not much sia...haha

I think its this sort of time when I missed her a lot...lol...its has always been the case since I got to know her...her hugs, her touch and that look on her face..haha...however there are some things that one shouldn't wish for because even if it is given, it is not the same. Cherished the times u have with a person, fully enjoyed it to the fullest because when one day it is taken away from u...there is no taking back. just thot of smthg, someone said that I am scared of girls, haha I think thats not true, I think I am scared of relationships...lol...ok random again!!! must be army or jia xin who is always a random person in bunk.... OK end of emo session...lol...

Recently I didn't want to go home that early or wadsoever...like last friday went out with Pig and just talk to her abt it ....eventually she fell asleep..lol....then I was like what the>.<...and a gd 45 mins sia...lol.....but she also damn tired lah so its ok. It was about 1am when I sent her home and I was also kinda tired liao...then we kept bumping each other like bumper cars till her house..haha...Saturday went out with my sec. school mates...again didnt want to go home early then we chill at TCC till 11pm...haha...dont know why leh..nowadays feel like that...must be the personal space theory brought to u by ben sua...lol..haha aiyah its NS NS lah=P...Hopefully, March 22 I am free man...cuz got another 4e1 gathering..might be chalet or...might be Zouk...haha and seong hoon will be like zz-oou-k...lol..then see march 8 free a not then go CH house and learn mahjong and K a bit...lol...tml still got road march again and must don up...wah kao...sianz man...lol...

Somehow I think February is a not so good month for me, last year I got my heart broken and this year...hmm...how to say it...well lets say its the second time loh...Asked until like that, what U want me to do man...keep avoiding?? then next time even worse??...maybe its for the better for it to end like this...ok it might be super paiseh the next time but well...so it ends loh

Sometimes in this world, a lot of things happened all of a sudden. A few days back, pig gave me a rather shocking news which makes me worry about her. For now I think she should be ok, see when we can meet up then see how bah. A few days from that incident, someone's Sis called me to ask about econs questions which is like really surprising considering the fact that I never touched econs like in a year and all, so juz anyhow answer....a bit smoked my way thru though..I only got C leh....lol.

Then there are some emotions that just come and go, and like acquaintances they just appeared one moment, disappeared the next and pop up out of the blue. Like sometimes I am more agro nowadays or somewhat as well as a bit sianz with life. Everytime I look at kids, somehow I envy them cuz they got no worries and all that bother the grown ups, well my thinking of not growing up is quite enticing man! Like peter pan...lol....but we all know thats like impossible dude....haha

Somehow I felt there is some conclusion to the war that is fighting within me but we never know right? cuz every internal 'civil war', there is always a high chance that it will start again. My mum always emphasized on the phrase' Eugene, relax dont think so much, just let it be' for a very long time already. But well I never really take it to heart until a particular episode which hurt me deep deep...lol speaking like JS=P...then slowly I began to appreciate the meaning of it.

Beside me, my mum is watching coffee prince, then en-chan is saying' saranghaeyo..saranghaeyo'...I think I totally forgot the meaning about it already, I can slowly feel it again=)...whether its fated or not, whether its too late altogether, whether its just a passing phase...i cherished the few moments coz u never know when this person will suddenly 'disappeared' or maybe take up a different role in ur life...so cherished those that are beside u=)...I am still learning though=P

just an update...

Well chinese new year had been a rather sianz one this year loh..lost 15 bucks at blackjack this year...haha...then had a fun time with my cousin, Ashley. kinda a bit dull so far and I on the 2nd day still gotta go back to camp and do standby sia...a bit sianz..haha and during the eve someone throw a surprise at me..hor pig=P....supposedly today gt driving de but dunno why..very sianz then didnt go loh and just now wanted to play bball but the pump spoiled....wah!!!!....S.A.D day is approaching=P....haha

Actually come back to think of it , there is no reason for me to react in that way is it? because sometimes a phrase may not meant much and anyhow I dont even know what is going on with the opponent's thinking. I dont know how to move my chess pieces from now on already, maybe I should just continue playing and try new moves as well as follow my instincts to see how the game will end...maybe I should be more detached from it and not focus too much on winning this game but rather enjoying the challenge of it=)