Death vs Deaf

It sounds kinda weird why I am writing about death and at the same time about deaf. Though coincidentally, both of them sounds the same...interesting...hmm...in any case, we shall start on the topic of deaf first.

Yesterday, I was working when I had to served a TP whom is deaf. And in order to communicate with him, we had to write to each other on pieces of paper. What I noticed was that I had to actually vision what I wanted to write it out first in my head. And it sort of slow me down and made me to think more before I write or should I say express something. And it seems that only we 2 are in this small and slow world around. Hence, a question popped in my head was this, " Am I moving so fast without ever thinking about the next few steps?"

Now, I do know that are some things which I am involved now is definitely was due to some thinking. However, there are other things which I know definitely that I had just jumped in.And in some other ways, I kept on thinking about the final destination that I had never actually think about the specifics at some point...But in any case, I think its a good question to ponder about things...

Recently, seems that death is actually getting closer and closer to my world. I think that as we grow older, I think such issues will eventually rather personal. I think it reinforces the fact that life is unpredictable. There is no certainty in a this uncertain world. Then do we jump into things at the 1st opportunity and risk a probability of suffer? Or do we take a step back to consider and risk a probability of missing out the opportunity?....Interesting notion to think about again...lol

Feelings....emotions....do we follow the flow or do we go against it?

I think I should bang my head against the wall....=X

Ideal vs Reality

Although this sounds pretty demoralizing or in some ways emo, sadly the world is never what we hoped to be. First thing first, is to define what do we mean when we use the word "world". In this case, world will be the society and people that surrounds us, a world where we live in and how we view and experience. I am sure that as we all grow older, we all found out through some way or another that the world that we all hoped to be, in our own unique and quirky minds, will never be found in the world that we lived in. To some, there might not be much difference. To others, it might means a totally 180 degrees from our 'ideal world'.

Let me share with u all, what is my 'ideal world'. My ideal world is that by now I should either be in a long and steady relationship or I should have already an ex. I should be studying in a local university. I should be involve in hall activities, involve in orientation camps. I should be in an investment cca. I should be fit and passed my IPPT. I should be seriously into the concept of investing and trading. I should be able to keep my room neat and tidy. I should be able to think rationally. I shouldnt be feeling lost every now and then. I should be...

If I were to compare my current world with the above ideal world, I think I am rather far off where I had envision myself to be in the past. Of course, there are definitely some things which I had been able to achieve, to be able to move on from the past, to be a bit more sociable, to have a bit more faith in myself.

I remember sam telling me that I had somehow understand the meaning of 'change'. Now on hindsight, I don't think I had actually understood it. I don't mean that I don't fully comprehend it, but more of applying it. I still do have those niggling feelings when things weren't what it used to be. I sometimes cannot understand or accept some others' actions. Oks, maybe I should change the word to 'difference'. I cannot seem to understand that in this world, everything and everyone is different. Our ideal world and the real world are different.

Maybe I should try to empathize more with the real world and not try to blame it for not being similar to my ideal world. Maybe I should also throw away the notion of an ideal world, and start trying to accept the real world. However, I do know one thing is that I will always try to resist any conformity caused by the real world. Maybe its just me, but I am rather anti to people or society trying to impose their ways on me. I tend to question things lor.

Having said that, do we follow the world or do we do what we thinks its right?( note: we can be wrong)...

Some things in life are not so easily explainable.

Why does the market reacts in such a way? Why does the world spins from east to west and not the other way round? Why does a guy keep waiting for a girl, though he knows that there isn't any chance? Why 100 year old conflicts seemingly can never be solved?

I think thats wad give this world its flavor...

 South Africa World Cup 2010 Champions

Yesterday was the...or rather this morning was the end of the South Africa World Cup 2010. And eventually spain aka octopus paul was the winner. Its a rather shitty final if you ask me, the guys and me were cursing and swearing at ben's place that I think the dad almost chased us out=.='''

I would say that the dutch really did a good job at dirty play. And truth be told, the plan nearly works as the spainards were rattled and there were some 1 v 1 situations with casillias. Lol...but it wasn't a really good final though. The 3rd/4th placing was still much better, but I think that can be due to the pressure of winning the world cup.

In any case, its was quite fun to hang out at ben's place, because of the guys and we played a bit of poker and stuff like that...its wasnt as fun as the new year but it was ok lor.

The Matrix

"Why are you doing this?"

"Isn't this normal? that's what everyone is doing."

"You are weird."

Imagine hearing, seeing and being physically close to such people for a year...I think there are 3 possible scenarios. Either you conform with them or you will turn mad or you choose to be yourself. I think if its for me, I might and would have already conform but then again I wouldn't know, because I wasn't tested before. And I know myself that I hate to be stuck in a routine, to be in some kind of endless run is something that I never like. So I would never know. 

I think somehow this is a problem that people may faced in their lives, be it being the extreme or just a normal situation where a friend tries to coerce one into participating in a certain event. If we look at a macro point of view, its like society is trying to force u to be part of them and somehow if u are always immersed in the world, ultimately you will start to question yourself about what is right and what is wrong. I think its these kind of situation where anyone will definitely lose it...and start to wonder around what is truly right in these world...

I have to say that I have been thru these situations though it might be in the extreme point of view. I had a rather negative view as well as a rather fixed mindset and that if I don't do this way, then I am way abnormal in this society. And I thought that if people don't react in a certain manner, then they themselves are not reacting to my so called "socially correct ways". As you can see, the problem of trying to force someone into ur ideal world and as well as others doing the same....its actually very part of human nature. 

I think what made people stands out, is doing and believing in what you believe in, ur personal ideals and principals of life.You can say that this person is stubborn, anti-social or weird. But, I think its important to stand your ground...because I think it defines who you are.Of course, I think its really near impossible if everyone surrounding u are all saying that you are wrong or anything. 

Maybe I am the kind of person who have a slight tenancy to go against the flow, or rather if there is sufficient reasons to. Thats why I feel that one should always believe in themselves. In the past, I didn't and it sort of made me feel real helpless and useless at times. Having said that, I think it all comes down to one's resolve and strength. And how we achieve that varies from people to people.=)

Tour Guide

Yesterday was a...hmm...wonderful tour with auntie and we went for a 'tour' around the Marina Bay area. I would say that it had been a great night out=)...auntie was like a super enthu tourist...haha=)...its real fun out there...and we saw a new sight at MBS with a luxury buggy!!!lol...how cool is that?!

It has been a long time since we hang out this long and have H2H talk le...it really felt good...it's been so long sia...lolz...And as usual of me, I did ask about whether I have change from the past again...and duh of cuz I did...though I didnt seriously expected her to answer in such a way....but I think I have changed a certain mindset towards relationships or somewhat...but in any case, I don't think that I should be too bothered by it. Hmm....and how to put it, it seems that its one of the first time that I had ever take notice of auntie's feelings and reactions...and  I was trying to read it as well...maybe its the reversal of roles or it might be my customer service mindset...like seriously...hmm maybe I can sense her being really down...but hopefully she can find herself as soon as possible and be as happy just by being herself=) I think she has enough in her to pull through this bah...so Hwaiting!!!

Randomness

Well well...it has been some time since I last blog le...I think I gotten lost in the world of maple-ling and stuffs...actually its only maple bah...and just PURE utter nua-ing around...always wake up at 10 plus...and sleep around 1 am...omfg sia...

There has been many thoughts that has since pass through my mind, and I don't really know when to start from...lol...initially I started this blog to archive my thoughts, currently I feel like using blogging to engage others in certain topics. I think thats partly the reason why I had considered posting some stuffs besides finance on other topics on my alternate blog...however I haven't really gotten round doing it yet...but in any case, this blog will still be the place where my thoughts will always flow...and where there shouldn't be much restrictions...well...of course there are some situations where I have no choice but to cover certain stuffs up lor...

Recently, I read in the papers about Sumiko Tan ( one of the straits times columnist) that she is getting married at the age of 46. Don't get me wrong, I am no stalker or a huge fan of hers, its because her column is on the front page of Life and there is this entire page dedicated to her. After reading her article, well I was struck by how independent she is. She has a rather strong character that I think would definitely turn guys away from her...and when seeing how her fiance woo-ed her and all...whew...he is one zai fellow.

As I was reading the article, I chanced upon this portion that she said why she decided to agree to him and to be with him...its something about how when he took her on a ride on his motorcycle and how he always seems to adjust his position so that she can feel safer or something. And thats to her, one of the reasons why she decided to accept him. Now, this got me thinking...that sometimes one don't need an ultra big surprise or event to be with someone, though thats definitely play a part...and that maybe it's really all down to being urself. Just let the feelings flow bah.