The past week I was back in camp for my very first reservist training. Wont really go too deep into the details here, just in case, I got too excited and say things that are by right confidential. But, overall, I would say it was a good break in my life though technically, I am already supposed to be in a break. Haha. We spent most of the week in camp whereas by right for low-key we should be stay out. We complained and whine as usual...lolz..but was happy that 14 out of our 20 platoon guys are back. And I am close to all of them, so it was really nice. And like what James said, it seems that we never really ORD back at 2008. The place, the food the environment are still the same. We still sleep late and chat and joked with each other till late. Army being army,there are a lot of waiting time, so we did chat about quite a couple of things. Pranked benny and samuel as per usual, we ate at canteen...Being NSmen, really is kinda different, dont have to march around, can go where and when we like. But of course, being more "responsible" now, we will still inform our commanders where we go. I don't even call the specs Sargent anymore, call them by their names only. Lucky for us, we got back our specs as whom have been with us for a significant amount of time, so its really been a big reunion for us. I didn't managed to get back my team comdr, but the rest are quite good as well. So, I am not complaining.
During our drills and trainings, we still help each other about, take jabs at each other, and the few who are always targeted by us bullies. Really, its great to be back in those times again, of course, we still dont know what will happen when we got married or when we start having working commitments, but for the present or least the next 2 years, I think we will still be able to meet up regularly.Interestingly, benny is also taking CFA, so another person to study with. I know a lot of people actually don't really like ICT, of course, there is the problem of work and other commitments etc, but if taking out these considerations, I do know some still dont like going back to army. For me, I kinda look forward to it ,though not for the trainings that is..haha
Anws,below is my friend's blog which I feel kinda summed up actually how I feel.
http://seelahtalksomuch.tumblr.com/post/27121397774/being-different
Essentially, thoughts/craps/rants of my life
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
The Starbucks Effect
Hanging out at a starbucks and people watching, reading and planning a little for grad trip is kinda nice. Though of course, if one is feeling sleepy, the bed is sorely missed here. And on another side note, money flying out of the wallet is also another main concern. A starbucks cafe is kinda like a mish mash of various human beings. We have the ever mugging students, the small group meeting of 3 to discuss of business or gossips. The chit chat of 2 persons and the ever solo reader of books and the use of laptops.
Seems that starbucks have in a manner became the defacto place where the notion of exchanging ideas and the flow of ideas to be at. Its a little different from the feeling that one gets from those boutique cafes which serves unique and savoury coffee, the long preparation of exotic coffee beans where the customer sits back and enjoy the taste of the coffee and starts to zone out into his own world. Where he looks out of the cafe and be contented with watching the crowds roll by like the clouds in the sky.
And being in this place also kind of like put one in an introspective mood. Now at the cross-roads of life, the period where one transits from a student to a worker in the society. Of course, a lot of wonderful and naive thoughts came into the mind. Maybe I should write a book, be an awesome analyst, open a business, contribute to society in one way or another. Then reality always comes crashing down, like when the dream fails in the movie, Inception.
One kinda starts to wonder what are we actually supposed to do in this kind of situation. Like what jobs should I get?, do I want to get a job? should I be a brat and spend away money travelling? Should I go back to my investment roots? trading roots? sign on army? Like what Yu Dan in her "confucius from the heart" book wrote, the modern day humans have too much choices, too much decisions to make thats bring in the dilemmas in life. Its quite the irony isn't it? With greater choices, we have more varieties to choose from. On the other hand, too many choices, causes us with a headache on what choices to make. Similarly, here is a problem that I am also facing.
Of course, another point to note is that I may have sunk into the depths of laziness. Or what we would have termed it as the comfort zone. Life is smooth, no financial issues to seriously ponder about, have a steady flow of income albeit a small sum, have a roof over my head. The only major problem is a girl, but then again, its not really a problem because r/s issues are a part of life. As of now, money is not a major driving force in my life, but then again, nothing is really a driving force in my life now. A r/s use to be a major one before but now due to age/experience/whatsoever, its not that important now. And from what I been through before, it CANNOT be a major driving force in life. And so we are back at the proverbial question that is always asked by people: "WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE?'
Seems that starbucks have in a manner became the defacto place where the notion of exchanging ideas and the flow of ideas to be at. Its a little different from the feeling that one gets from those boutique cafes which serves unique and savoury coffee, the long preparation of exotic coffee beans where the customer sits back and enjoy the taste of the coffee and starts to zone out into his own world. Where he looks out of the cafe and be contented with watching the crowds roll by like the clouds in the sky.
And being in this place also kind of like put one in an introspective mood. Now at the cross-roads of life, the period where one transits from a student to a worker in the society. Of course, a lot of wonderful and naive thoughts came into the mind. Maybe I should write a book, be an awesome analyst, open a business, contribute to society in one way or another. Then reality always comes crashing down, like when the dream fails in the movie, Inception.
One kinda starts to wonder what are we actually supposed to do in this kind of situation. Like what jobs should I get?, do I want to get a job? should I be a brat and spend away money travelling? Should I go back to my investment roots? trading roots? sign on army? Like what Yu Dan in her "confucius from the heart" book wrote, the modern day humans have too much choices, too much decisions to make thats bring in the dilemmas in life. Its quite the irony isn't it? With greater choices, we have more varieties to choose from. On the other hand, too many choices, causes us with a headache on what choices to make. Similarly, here is a problem that I am also facing.
Of course, another point to note is that I may have sunk into the depths of laziness. Or what we would have termed it as the comfort zone. Life is smooth, no financial issues to seriously ponder about, have a steady flow of income albeit a small sum, have a roof over my head. The only major problem is a girl, but then again, its not really a problem because r/s issues are a part of life. As of now, money is not a major driving force in my life, but then again, nothing is really a driving force in my life now. A r/s use to be a major one before but now due to age/experience/whatsoever, its not that important now. And from what I been through before, it CANNOT be a major driving force in life. And so we are back at the proverbial question that is always asked by people: "WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE?'
Wrong Msg
Went to wait for adeline cuz she OT from work today. Wanted to bring her out to eat, cuz she dont usually eat when she OTs. But she said that her mum cooked already, and that she dont feel like eating out. So i sent her home. Along the way back home, she whatsapp me something that meant for someone else. Said she felt bad for not following me out to eat and having me just send her home. Den she realised her mistake and asked whether she was bad in doing so. Told her not her fault, since I wanted to see her, so technically its really not her fault.
To tell you the truth, initially I was kinda happy for the reason that finally I made an impact that she talks about me to someone. But later on, den again I thought that feeling bad could also means " not interested in you, but you do all these kind of things for me, but i m feeling bad cuz i am unable to reciprocate it" kind of thinking. On the bright note, I kinda know where I stands now. Though it seems that it is still a huge distance from my desired goal. All along maybe I was trying too hard and try to accelerate things. I guess its time to slow it down a little and try to learn abit more about her and try to get her to open herself to me.
For some reason, I dont really want to just give up, even though after some female advice, and some other thinkings, things does seems pretty bleak. But, maybe I am in berserker mode or something, but until she really wants me to stop or if she reject me in the face, I will just soak up anything she throws at me and I will just keep trying. It might have been the exams spillover effect where I dont want to just give up and I keep ploughing through, seriously, I dont really know how all this will turn up.
Ytd, I was in a moody mood cuz was thinking about this situation. I was afraid that if I were to keep on doing this, I will re-enter the phase where I like someone so much that I ended up in self denial over things and eventually it cause me immense hurt and pain. I am afraid that if I were to whole heartedly put my heart out there, eventually it gonna be broken again. But the inner me, keeps telling me to press on. I thought of a lot of things, the quotes, phrases I have read over time. I rmbr something like "unless you put your heart and soul into something, things will never happen the way you want it to." and "even if the expedition fails, at least you tried and you have the knowledge that its not gonna happen, rather than living with the unknown result"...this kinds of stuff.
So today, kinda woke up and decided to make a commitment to this cause. Which is until the day I am so tired by it or she rejects me in the face, I am still going to try and keep trying. But of course, taking into consideration of the situation lah, if she finds me irritating , den gotta stop. I know very well that things may not turn up as I would expect and there is a chance I am gonna be emo for some time, but like I said, I don't feel like letting go this easily. But then again there maybe another one comes along and got me interested...lolz
To tell you the truth, initially I was kinda happy for the reason that finally I made an impact that she talks about me to someone. But later on, den again I thought that feeling bad could also means " not interested in you, but you do all these kind of things for me, but i m feeling bad cuz i am unable to reciprocate it" kind of thinking. On the bright note, I kinda know where I stands now. Though it seems that it is still a huge distance from my desired goal. All along maybe I was trying too hard and try to accelerate things. I guess its time to slow it down a little and try to learn abit more about her and try to get her to open herself to me.
For some reason, I dont really want to just give up, even though after some female advice, and some other thinkings, things does seems pretty bleak. But, maybe I am in berserker mode or something, but until she really wants me to stop or if she reject me in the face, I will just soak up anything she throws at me and I will just keep trying. It might have been the exams spillover effect where I dont want to just give up and I keep ploughing through, seriously, I dont really know how all this will turn up.
Ytd, I was in a moody mood cuz was thinking about this situation. I was afraid that if I were to keep on doing this, I will re-enter the phase where I like someone so much that I ended up in self denial over things and eventually it cause me immense hurt and pain. I am afraid that if I were to whole heartedly put my heart out there, eventually it gonna be broken again. But the inner me, keeps telling me to press on. I thought of a lot of things, the quotes, phrases I have read over time. I rmbr something like "unless you put your heart and soul into something, things will never happen the way you want it to." and "even if the expedition fails, at least you tried and you have the knowledge that its not gonna happen, rather than living with the unknown result"...this kinds of stuff.
So today, kinda woke up and decided to make a commitment to this cause. Which is until the day I am so tired by it or she rejects me in the face, I am still going to try and keep trying. But of course, taking into consideration of the situation lah, if she finds me irritating , den gotta stop. I know very well that things may not turn up as I would expect and there is a chance I am gonna be emo for some time, but like I said, I don't feel like letting go this easily. But then again there maybe another one comes along and got me interested...lolz
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