NS and Missing her...

NS and Missing her...

Hey all of ya out there!!!...back for a long 'holiday'..lol....from NS lah...haha...so far training had been rather xiong lor...wat to do...sianz...PT and more PT every day..and thank god for the rain lor...haha...nthg really much to do in camp lor...got some great section mates to begin with and that they are really very funny people!!! and they are smart peeps too...haiz...haha...


Anw it has been almost 3 weeks since I last saw her liao...every now and then of coz got thought of her...but somehow or rather it juz seems impossible to meet up with her or somehow...so far for most of the PT...it has been her as my pillar of strength to carry on, no matter how many I gotta do...sometimes I wish she would juz really set aside 1 hour...juz an hour...no 30 minutes of her life and just have a chat with me...no interruptions, no phone calls all of a sudden...juz have a conservation with her...I will be really happy...but I think given her character, for her to do that will be rather difficult lor...lol...but it juz that never seen her for a very long time and I sometimes juz feel that she should juz make some time for me...then again who am I juz for her to give me an hour if full attention of her life...


Days passes by my life being monotone and all...some things I had hope will happen,never did...some I thought will be part and parcel of my life, never become...is this how life will be for me? I remember someone ask me this :" What's ur view of life?". My answer was that" Life is determine by one's perspectives"...but no matter how much I tell myself that all these will end soon and that she is really busy and all...but the pain and suffering is building up in me, the feeeling of not seeing someone and being unable to be part of her life as I once was...is juz...well...saddening


Although I said it before that whatever decision that she come to, in the future, I will be able to move on and still be around her as a good friend...but right now I juz want her to be by my side...I have so many things to share with her...the good and bad stuff...my thoughts...everything...and I also miss her laughter, her smile and the way she is able to make any trouble seem so small, her eyes and that 'WTH' look whenever I say smthg very lame or when I am being cranky...lol...I feel that I being rather selfish to juz get her to come out though she is bz....but hey isnt liking someone suppose to be selfish?...lol...maybe but sometimes we juz got to look at the other side of things lor...


Everytime booked out, at least got one day I will feel lost and I will go to that place again and start to think and think and reminsince about the past...sometimes it does help, but at times it dont really lor...example today I was there again...sleeping there at the corner, then I thought I heard someone walking..it wasnt her coz she juz msg me that she was working. Instead it was her mum, but I doubt she took any notice of me...coz w/o the hair and a cap covered my face and maybe my figure have changed. So she juz walked past me as if I wasnt there at all...ironic...lol...but when I was there, i am able to truly juz relaz and sleep as if she is there with me...maybe its jzu the trees aound the area bah...but yeah it was comfortable, though I wish to juz lie on her lap and juz sleep...that would be ideal lor...but like what I said before, some things will juz never happen......maybe they will:P

A drunken stupor...

A drunken stupor...

After my grandpa's birthday celebration last sat., went to leonard's condo for a bbq...unfortunately reached there then all the food gone liao and missed daniel's new girlfriend...lol..then the teachers also all there already..and u knw wat...Mr Kao actually cannot remember which eugene...OMG..so dissapointed...haiz...haha

However the most important thing is the drinking session later on...the guys bought brandy,vodka and some juices and stuff to mixed with. So not bad lor...tried a lot of mixes...from lime with vodka, brandy with coke(tastes like cough mixture) to peach with peach vodka(failed mix though)...then lionel got drunk lor...lol...thanks to tomahawk who gave him like 4 shots and he drank in a gulp..xiao fellow...another one also is ting han...haha drank so much and smthg happened in the toilet...haha for explicit details...pls ask ren or mark...haha...lol...and lionel was like puking everywhere...still a miracle how we managed to get him up to jon's house lor...wah kao..and he was like talking a great deal of nonsense and sort of like frustrated some of us...then he was left to hog the toilet...but must really thank jon's parents for..erm..well letting him use the toilet...so next day went to play ball in the morning lor...so sort of damn tired and later still go to 1st 3 months the gathering...well ok...except that we slack too much and due to the time constraints that both kelvin and I had...the group didnt do much lor...well lest u count the chio waiteress that we were staring...haha...

Well...but of course the secondary school one was the better one but hardly got a chance to talk with everyone coz went so late lor...wasted but definitely next year CNY muz meet up with everyone again...haha...4E1 Rulez sia!!!

Graduation Night

Graduation Night

The day of my grad. night was the same day as I arrived back from Chiang Mai lor....very rushed sia...lol...after reaching home and taking a quick nap and all...then muz go get ready for the night liao...So in the end meet up with JC and go to the place together which is at Meritus Mandarin. Haha...and he is damn funny lor coz he dont want to go there early...dunno why also:P...then eventually was like walking around taka for like 20 minutes lor...

After that finally made our way to the hotel, met Bryan outside and realised that his hair is as brown as autumn leaves...haha. Amazing how people look so different from school uniform lor...like xuan fang was juz standing beside me and I didnt even noticed her...haha needless to say that shi hui was in black( hei bai pei)...lol...

Overall the programme for the dinner, was rather boring lor...well except that johnny was on stage for the prom king and queen segment...it was rather amusing and enjoyable lor...haha and dez can keep on saying about how he spent $0 and about the food...lol...then was juz taking photos and help ppl take MORE photos......Anw so thats more or less about it lor...after that went to play pool with some of my clazmates at cineleisure until 2.30am...

Initially wanted to pei bryan to drink until next morning but due to various restrictions and to a certain extent...the high price of DXO...so went home about 3 lor...

Well...so thats the end of my JC life...if u have been following this blog from the 1st entry...its nthg really that great is it??..but at least there have been various projects that I have been invovled which is great like Chingay and NDP lor..so well now can only hope that will do well for A levels and make it to the Uni. lor=)

Chiang Mai Trip

Chiang Mai Trip

YOZ, sawatika everyone...juz got back from chiang mai last week...hardly have any time to blog and do stuff...with the PSP madness going on and the looking for jobs and prom night and all...so hardly got much time to sit down and recollect lor...lol...

Anyway, 1st time took a Tiger Airways flight lor in other words a BUDGET AIRLINE...haha also went to the BUDGET terminal...kinda empty compared to the 2 terminals at the airport...BUT...it is not bad as compared to other terminals in other countries...so kinda not bad lor...oh ya and the A320...is so small and cramped lor....super boring lah..was in the end listening to iPod and reading the in-flight magazine lor..sounds boring right??...haha...lol...it was...

When landed at Chiang Mai, it wasnt as cooling as I expected even at night...i would classified it as cooling...though my sis beg to differ....think that even Genting is much colder lor...ahaha...the hotel that we had was rather..erm....B&B...if u want to put it, it is rather small with no security and all but they make up for it with their very personalised service and stuff. The host was very nice lor and btw the hotel is run by a couple..an Ang Moh and a thai wife..and the thai wife,pepe, is very good at cooking lor...super zai sia...everything on the Menu is she prepare de lor...lol..ok coz the menu is not much to begin with but her food is great!!!

Also, went to Chiang Mai always eat japanese food lor...lol...but although its way in the northern region of thailand but boy is their sashimi great sia!! Oishii nei!!...Haha...thats like so weird lor...LOL...Also there was the Royal Flora at Chiang Mai where all the different flowers and the world's best horticulturlist are gathered together to put on a flower display for the King's 60th anniversary on the throne . Pity that they will tear it all down after the whole exhibition have ended...so the above photo shows one of the exhibit at the exhibition...and boy I tell u the place is freaking BIG sia....took us almost the whole day to walk around lor...

Another interesting thing was that we were all stateless for about an hour too...we were on the mekong river and that river separates myanmar,laos and thailand. We even cross over to the Laos side, wah kao I was mighty afraid that some communist soldiers will jump out and detain us...then we will all become communist....wad an abominable thought sia!!!

Also, the driver that drove us around that day was.....damn ZAI sia.....one hand driving at 120 km/h and that it was in a moutain pass in pitch darkness....wah kao....cool lor...even better than those ppl driving along the NS highway in Malaysia at night...

Other than that was mostly shopping and my sis and dad learning how to cook thai food...wont go into that detailed...but the food turned out great!...haha..then we also saw a thai love story while shopping...haha and my sis took the couple down lor...haha actually it was a boy holding a banquet of flowers waiting for the gal outside her school...if i not wrong he waited for abput 30 minutes lor...wah...patience sia!!!...eventually pass the flowers to the gal and she even has a 3 man...ok gals...escort her somemore...haha and she was rather shy lor...reminds me a bit like joyce..haha and my sis record the entire thing down...bet they realised that they were being filmed...now u know we can never be PI lor...

We also visit the tribes in the hills and that the people there were living as if that modernisation has no effect on them and that they still uses primitive methods such as drawing water using bamboo pipelines...and they government gave them the land so that we as tourists will be able to visit them in their own 'natural' habitat....machiam as if we go see some animals in the zoo or smthg lor...feel extremely weird....and my sis went absolutely gaga over a young cute girl...and the unusual thing is that the girl never smile..its juz smthg with her eyes...as if her eyes are able to tell a story like that....

Well...overall, thats what we did in chiang mai lor...a bit the rush if u ask me...but not bad lor...haha at least able to get away from singapore and be somewhere else to relax and think lor...haha...wah i think i next time every year muz go on a holiday with my frenz or family if i can managed lor...i think its really good for the health..haha

A new blog skin...

A new blog skin...

Well...it has been some time since I last change my skin liao...so thot that I should might as well do it now lor...anw it seems rather simple with mostly the background is white and all....oh well but kinda like the drawing lor...very nice...its about a guy juz being happy to follow a gal along the beach even though he is always behind her and she never notices him...well thats wad the fellow who created this said lor...lol...but looks rather nice lor...

Anw...thinking back over this year...2006 that is...I think it has been a year of change for most people bah...I have seen cool guys become the lamest person u can ever know....and all lor...U also realised that many of ur frenz perceptions to various things of life have also changed...and most importantly of all, u too also discover urself also changing...either for the worse or for the better...

This year, I underwent a lot of changes and my own battles with my inner demons...ok..that sounds damn...erm....not right and all....but yeah I did...how interesting that it should happened during my A levels year and it is suppose to be a very important cert. and all...but whatever has happen, has already happened...the only person if I have to blame..well its juz myself lor....lol...I have been through sometimes unbearable pain to pure joy and at the same time the ever increasing stress levels and personal expectations...At the same time, I discover more about myself, how to deal with my own emotions and to a certain extent, learnt to make decsions even though others may object...Learnt how to treasure my frenz more, learnt how to care for someone , learnt how to let go, learnt how to listen and lots of stuff lor...it has been a very turbulent year for me...topsy-turvy u may put it...but it has passed and whatever effects it will have on the future...will I have to bear the consequences lor...whether its good or bad...coz I chose this path myself and can blame no one if it all turns out wrong...

Well...but all these forces me to grow up...understand how society works and all, how to see things from a differnt angles and that sometimes no matter how much u put in, some how or rather things will turn out different than one expected lor...most importantly its that u have done ur best and enjoy the process lor...some how or another it has cause my life to take a turn that I couldnt see it happening in such a way a few years before....its kinda weird with the situation that I am in now...never in my early years would I expect myself to wait for someone, to drink alcohol( but not so much lah!!), to do things that I thought I will never do now...but at the same time, it has taught me a lot of wonderful things or rather open more opportunites for me...who would have expect that I am able to lead 27 people in a group in the middle of orchard road....well and I also make a big hoo-ha at the end...lol...to even walking around serangoon at 1am!!!!

So well....it seems that this year has been a rather rollar-coaster ride for me lor...lol...yeah it has been...one moment my heart is at its normal position, after that its stuck at my throat and after that back to equilibrium again...haha...OMG....physics terminology!!!So...yeah it has been a crazy year for me....both mentally and physically taxing...now its going to be the end of the year liao...what a year sia....what a year....................................................

Picking up the pieces from battle...

Picking up the pieces from battle...

It has been some time since I last blog liao...whew almost 2 weeks already liao...for the past 2 weeks the battle has been intense and hard...well but whatever the outcome, its there already and I cannot change it already so all I can do...is juz to pick up the pieces up and reflect over the skirmishes....

Feel that my physics have been seriously screwed up and that it was relatively easy yet I came out and felt that I didnt really perform and that there have been various questions where I already dropped too much points already lor...

For maths...erm seems ok but rather afraid whether can get an A a not lor...coz after paper 2, got this not so good feeling....so I am not so sure lor...really afraid for that lor...

For econs....seems ok lor well except for CSQ and DRQ which I think I did not do that well lor....but oh well...see how then...

For GP...what more can I say then??

LOL...so overall its seems rather shit lor...but what do to?? life still gotta moves on right? Soon also muz go NS liao....how time flies isnt

being EMO.....

being EMO.....

Was just reading a bit of Tuesdays with Morrie yesterday, and it sort of share some insights on stuff on how to deal with emotions and stuff....but lets not talk about the bad ones and lets concentrate on the good ones lor...

Even the good emotions can sometimes be turned into a nightmare, am I right??
When u are confident, its good but over-confident...goner
When u like someone, its nice but it also brings about insecurity...goner again...

Ok...again I most probably use relationships again...coz I am in some sort of deep shit in myself lor...haha..well wadever bah..anw if most people knows me, they will tell u that I am sort of those chaps whom always like to thinks a lot and have a lot ideals and stuff and that I always seem to always be happy and stuff....but behind that facade and all, I am actually rather weak and think too much...or so i think bah...it is because I always feel that is up to oneself to be happy so wadever hurt or suffering I have, I dont really show it out...it is sort of bad I think..coz I keep a lot of things to myself but I dont want to coz others to worry and stuff lor...hmm..maybe I should changed that..lol..

Okok....a bit the digressing liao...now where were we....oh yea...its all about juz "clearing your system"...do not hold it back lor...Morrie quotes that one must learnt how to go with the emotions and stuff...I mean the good ones ah...erm...ok example is like yesterday, she was feeling frustrated over her life and not being able to do what she always wanted to do...I was sitting there..juz listening to her but never say anything coz I was never in her position and do not really understand how to deal with her problem..all I could think was juz listen to her lor...actually I wanted to juz put a hand over her shoulder and juz say that everything is going to be ok and yeah...but I didnt..why...again paiseh lor...on the way home, was like juz reprimanding myself that as a fren should try to console her lor and all...but because of all those paiseh and other stuff that's why to afraid...well at least now I fully understood what did Morrie meant liao lor...lol

Was juz pondering that others blogged about daily affairs, politics, trends, selling clothes....and here I am blogging on my personal thoughts and stuff...lol...a bit the weird is it?..or is it juz me...anw maybe to me blogging is juz another way to de-stress and counter-check with my feelings and inner thoughts bah...haha anw it is rather interesting to read back at past entries and sometimes think how naive I was in the past....haha

Anw GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE ON THEIR A LEVELS which is starting very soon....but now I will juz try my best and believe in myself...whatever happens it wont be the end of the world de=)

Thinking...

Thinking...

Sometimes one must learn to let go of a lot of things and see things from another point's of view...Just realised that a lot of things will never go our way, be it whether is relationships, examinations or even why some families have so many problems...Actually, the most important thing is to juz keep doing what one thinks its right and have no regrets...anw life is too short to always be filled with regrets lor...ok that sounds so clinched and stuff...hey but if it is not true, then its not clinched liao lor...haha anw easy to say but difficult to do lor...what to do..we humans are such complicated creatures lor...haha our uniqueness is our own complexity...how ironic!

There are a lot of things that I wish I had done...but if u allow me to turn back time, and be faced with the same problem or dillenma again...would I approached it in another way...maybe not lor...so no use looking at the past lor...the past is there for us to remember and learn, not to dwell in it...but as I said earlier, this is easier than done...especially its those wonderful or painful memories which influences us a lot that we cant seem to let go off...of coz there are some out there whom are able to let go of such emotions...haha pei fu pei fu sia...

Maybe we could have done certain things in a different way from how we dealt with it at that particular time lor...but anw time has already past and there is no way to turn back and say" Hey why dont I do it this way?"...anw its how each person handle various situations at that point of time, so there is no right or wrong way in it lor...juz do what u want to do...simple...but many do not see that point coz of various reasons...also as one grows up, it is never about oneself anymore...it is about the surrounding love ones...when my uncle left for melbourne, the ones that are affected the most are my grand-parents...my grandpa became so depressed that he fall sick so easily and nowadays, he juz kept going out as he cannot deal with the pain that his son and grandchild is in a faraway place...my uncle and auntie finally be able to migrate...but at what cost...juz thinking of my grandma all alone at home...really hurts me...and I also dont always have the time to go and see her and stuff...as we grow up, such things have to be taken to considerations isn't....However, in other situations, we should juz do what we think its right...no matter what others say...Many people after like the 40s and stuff...they think back and say "haiz, I should have done that"...even at my age now, I also sometimes think back and say the same thing

Meeting up with a very "old" friend...

Meeting up with a very "old" friend...

Yesterday, was a rather interesting day...okay at least I finish 3 DRQs the previous night and went through them and I managed to do some VJC prelim questions which is rather surprising not so difficult...no wonder Andrew can 'own' the paper...lol....but of coz its during exam conditions mah..lol...so after tuition,went to have a chat and dinner with ben loh...lol...and we were talking about the shuttle-cock keychain...lol..and how both our families went gaga over the whole incident...haha...so about 9 was juz going home lor...and listening to me ipod...went all of a sudden.....

Someone decided to have a jump on me...wah...I thought hu was the idiot...last time someone did that on me was yuan long...so I thought it was him again...but....it turn out to be TH!!!!!....Super-suprised beside the fact that it was him but he jumped on me!!!!....OMG....the TH...I knew was never that crazy before lah...lol...so was chatting with him lor...then we decided to go somewhere and chat lah....in the end went to JC house there the playground to slack and juz talk lor...along the way he still shout out "JOHNATHAN"!!!!...wah kao...he seems so super enthu. and siao liao!!!...haha reminds of myself last year when become super crazy and always an enthu. spider....haha...so was there chatting with him, talking about the gal he like and how we all changes and how the rest of the st.gabs peeps are doing well at poly. lor...haha he seems so much more open and easy to talk to nowadays...but somehow or rather, I feel that he is juz going thru' a stage that I already past last year...he is like doing wadever that I have already done last year...going crazy over gals...seeing more of the world, clubbing...those stuff lor...I think it has been a rather surreal experience bah...like after experiencing so many stuffs and problems..its like can share with a friend...its...feels good sia...lol....

After that we went over to my house the playground lor, coz JC house there began to fill up with couples, fitness mad person and Zachery( i think...waved to him also tao me)...yeah so went to my house there the playground lor..and we chatted from 9 plus I think to 10.30 bah...haha so sort of wasted lots of potential study time...but hey its not always that one can meet up with old friends so start chatting with him lor...so juz plain catching up lor...and he also wants to knw how to chat with gals especially to the gal that he likes...actually seriously ah..I think so far its juz a crush...but hey...u never know rite?...I may be proven wrong...hope so lor...coz I think the gal looks man pei with him leh...haha yeah...but anw he is asking such a question..I also dunno how to ans. him.....juz say be urself lor...I myself also dunno...haha....how I know...apparently he learnt to be crack more jokes and stuff so to like get closer lah...but feels that u are not being true to urself lor...yeah so I dunno lor...suddenly feels so old like that:P

Then he ask me a very sudden question lor...like whether I will think of marriage when I try to have a girlfriend lah..and such stuff...bet he muz be thinking about whether should he look out for the potential wife or should he juz be trying different gals out...haha I told him that in the past, I hope to juz have 1 relationship then hopefully can get married and that's it. However, now I don't knw whether is that still possible but I always look whether my potential gf can communicate or wadsoever lor...coz thats the most impt to me...and thats what I have been emphasising to him...I think thats super impt lor...after seeing so many of my frenz and my experience..thats my conclusion lor...ahaha so yeah lor juz slack with him and talk all such stuff lor....kinda cool..wah I began to like the playground at my house there....ok sam. house to be more precise....especially after 10...super quiet sia...nice place lor...only thing is that I too fat liao..cannot play the slides anymore and that its super zai lor...ahahaha....but yesterday was really great lor...got the cool wind and stuff....well besides the haze that is....

After that he also msg me saying that he was really happy chatting with me...lol...and say that I made a very good bf....hahaha super happy lor...its not everyday someone come over and kua me lor....lol...but hey great meeting up with him again lor=)...back to mugging!!!! less than14 days now....OMG!!!

nthg in particular

BTW hui min...this is only my 122nd post only...wah kao u got 100 posts in like 6 months!!!!....my blog has been like already a year old liao lah!!!.....wah...u hardcore blogger!!! explain urself!!!!

Drinking...

Drinking...

OK...ok..I know I should be studying at this instant and not blogging...lol...but how can 1 cheong the whole day sia...haha....anw now left approx. 13 days if I am nt wrong...ah..wadever lah...actually realise that a lot of people like me has been trying hard to study but dont have the mood or energy to cheong..shit man wad the hell is wrong with us sia!!!....Muz be the haze lor...stupid haze...make me cannot go out, make my frenz sick....screw those**** who started the fires in Indoneisia lah!!!...

Yesterday was drinking this wine from australia....I think it was a borduex...red wine...only about 185ml...with about 15% alcohol lor...after drank finish, can feel its effects lor....began to feel my neck to be quite heavy....but still sober lor...so haha if I drink another 3 bottles of that, I think I will really get drunk liao....haha...was walking to tuition and can feel that I am walking a bit de zig-zag lor...haha shit..damn weak sia...but after awhile ok liao...juz feel like sleeping only...in the end, Ms wong pang sei me lah...haiz....miscommunications ( shakes head)...made me wait there for 45 minutes...after went back home...reached Serangoon around 10..didnt really go home til 1045 lor...juz thot that I need to go somewhere to think...went JC house there...in the end got some punk at that playground...sianz...in the end went to my house there the playground....was damn quiet sia..cool!!!....until some kid thot I am a ghost and was telling her grandpa...man..I look so horrible meh???!!!....so sad=(..lol...by that time, the alcohol effects has wear off liao...and really be able to calm myself down and think more rationally...

I was thinking of how did I spent my last 5 years on earth and recalling all my experiences and stuff like that...it sort of allows me to think in another way lor...and I thot if how stubborn I was in Sec 2 which cause me a grade...how inflexible I was..at the same time I thot of how I didnt give up during that period and that no matter wad, i am going to get promoted to Sec 3....

So why should I give up now?...I have been faced by many problems before...maybe to u its insignificant, but we have our own perspectives of problems...so if I can faced those problems before...I can faced wadever problems I have now...be it studies or wadsoever...I have to admit that I am not good in being able to stay focus on something...but will try my best=)

Recently, someone asked me a question which I answered in a rather neutral way...because at that point of time, I feel that I dont want to give an answer that I may not live up to in the future...but if u ask me now such a question, I would have confidently say NO!!!...I juz cannot see myself doing such a thing lor...coz I feel that wadever it is...its still a commitment and that one muz think of the party's feelings as well...and not only be concerned with oneself...

Anyway, wadever it is, I also bo tai zi cui tai zi one...lol...but nvm lah now its bo tai zi liao...lol...haha anw life is so short and worry here and there for wad...haha better to be a siao yao zi zai the person better lor...haha=)

The letter...

The letter...

'You are required to report to pulau tekong at...."

Those were the words that greeted me when i say my mum holding the pink-coloured Mindef letter...relief that I didnt get into commandos.....not so relieved when I saw my enlistment date...its too soon...far too soon....suddenly realised that time will never going to be on my side...and there are things that I want to do...blessing that I can end my NS earlier than others but at the same time, not having enough time to do some things...that day I was very stun and down by the fact that there isnt much time left...thought about how is life without her is going to be like...insecurities pops up...and again lost my bearings in my thoughts and stuff...wanted very much to have a chat with someone...whom can put me abck to perspectives again...called it fate or wadsoever...its was a book and my uncle whom sort of put me back to it...that day went to the library..coz my mum wanted to borrow a book....and I was juz mousing around as usual then I juz anyhow took a book which has a very nice scenic cover...and borrow it....in the end, its was the author point of life that puts me back into perspectives...." sometimes juz by taking a walk down the forest , to the edge of the cliff, outlooking the sea...that makes one realise that wadever problems or even us is insignificant and all..." Its juz on how we all due with our problems, our insecurities, its how we perceive it that matters...

Of coz..I am not going to say that I have all but rid of those insecurities and problems, as long as I lived..it will be a part of me...I juz have to learnt how to balanced things out lor......so yeah lor...sorry Sam. for causing worry to u...I am fine now....thanks a lot for everything=)

"There he is thinking of hugging her but he knows that he cannot, no matter how strongly he feels about her, so afraid that one day she will juz disappears out of his life......."

Ending of another chapter...

Ending of another chapter...

Whoa...it has been a whooping 13 days since I last blog sia...haha it has been a long time sia..and now its only another 17 days to the As....wah kao...and today I also chao slack...(shakes head)...damn that counterstrike game that my bro. tempts me and my sis....okok its not his fault, its mine....oh well juz make do with wadever time left lor....muz also look forward mah...

Last friday was CJC graduation day, whoa..time has past so fast lor...the day I enter CJC seems like juz yesterday, although I can say that I may not have a very fantastic time at CJ..but come to think of it...it is a really great thing being CJC lor...though my claz is not everyone's ideal claz...but it has taught me a lot of things and stuff that U will definitely never get anywhere else lor...from smoking to fights to geylang....haha u name it:D

It just seems like yesterday when I enter CJ and feeling like a complete idiot of leaving SR to get into CJC...but come to think of it, it was a very good decision lor...I changed a lot in CJC, and learnt a lot too and had a great deal of fun sia...from chingay to NDP...only thing I truly regret was never going to an OCIP trip lor...should have been more determined to join and not being afraid of taking NYAA...haiz but time has passed and it can never be turned back again...ever...haha everytime got such graduation thingy, I will get super sentimental and philosopical again...haha

Johnny was also chosen to give a valedictorian speech, which is suppose to be the most all rounded student then can be chosen one, it wasnt sort of a surprise and I was really happy to see him out there and that shows that we St. Gabs. are also quite pros lor...come to think of it most of the gabrielites there have hold a leadership position lor...so that says a lot about us lor...hahaha...anw JT speech was really funny and at times very funny....though the ending was quite a bit draggy..but hey its better than Mingjie's speech a few years ago lor...haha...of coz I did feel that I never really got any acheivement or smthg...it sort of stick onto me for the rest of the day but even though given with the opportunity, will I take it??...Am I capable?..thats the question lor isnt it...

Yeah..well thats the end of my CJC chapter of my life and the beginning of NS soon....but right now its the As....if u ask me whether I regretted I paid that $10 and changed it from SRJC to CJC like 8 hours before the deadline...NO...I dont at all....

When U say CJ, We say rocks...CJ rocks!!!
When U say CJ, we say zai...CJ ZAI!!!
(stomping of feets)....WHOAAA>>>>.CJ!!!

Passed everything...but thats not enough!!!!

Passed everything...but thats not enough!!!!

OK...it has already been a week ever since we started school... and also gotten back all my results liao...so here they are...

Maths-B(sianz...a lot of careless lor)
Physics-D(damn tyco...50 on the dot lah)
Econs-D(sianz...hoping can get a C lor...)
GP-C6( pass by a mark...super tyco!!!)

Well....its only a so-so result lor...and some teachers can still say not bad lor...like real lah...I bet other JCs confirm will own us like shit lor...lol....the only thing that I can be happy is that I passed everything lor....so gotta make use of the month of oct. to its max....however, that seems a bit tough sia...lol...nowadays come home always feel like sleeping sia...is it a psycological prob. or pure laziness sia...I also dunno...hmm...muz think of smthg to make use of my afternoons sia...

Something that I thought of

Something that I thought of...

Juz know I was listening to a soundtrack from LOTR:ROTK...is at the Grey Havens part...so then was juz inspired to write a short paragraph on it lor...for those who read or watch the movie, will most probably understand my writings lor...but I mostly took reference to the book...

The Grey Havens: When Frodo left Grey Havens

They are sailing,sailing over the ocean,

the gulls are crying out in sorrow or joy, we know not,

three companions stood out staring as the ship vanishes under the starlit night,

memories filled up their minds, so as their tears,shed not a tear they did.

Seemingly, as if a veil opens up, and the grey-white ship disappears into the shimmering stars,

two companions walked away with their heads down, soon they were singing sounds and making merry,

only Sam stood there,

staring where the ship has last been,

he too turned away and took a huge breath of air, looking back...

" Well that's that.."

Boring day sia.....

Damn boring day sia.....

Wah....yesterday wake up to the same situation as thursday lor...again...blur blur de....but I never touch the com. at all the entire day lor...haha c i so guai...lol....okok thats bullshit...went to watch Dear Boys again...its another bball anime lor...but the forward is damn good lor...super cool also lor....especially his passing and the main star..ai chuan..wah is god-like sia...only 1.73...i think and can dunk from free throw line lor...super zai sia...ok because its anime thats why he can do that lor...when see them practising..suddenly it re-invoke the bball drive in me...so grab my ball and headed down to the bball court at ah black house there and started shooting...and shit lah...my ball now is in a damn bad shape..no friction....no grip and worse of all.....no AIR!!!!...wah bounce also cannot bounce properly lor...practiced my shooting lor....felt super rusty...rebounding also got problem...ball handling also...ok maybe thats always the case...can never dribble that zai de mah...so far shot about 100 balls lor from the free throw line...so far the best record was 8 consecutive baskets....wah last time was like 15 baskets lah...shucks damn lousy...so spent about 2 hours there lor...also met Ah black and alloy. haha but they all went to eat breakfast..so all pang sei me at the court...lol...

Later on, back home was Lionel suddenly call coz its like he wanted to play bball and all...haha and he was asking how were the st. gabs peeps at CJC....and I told him lor...all the stuffs and our grades lor...he still sounds the same lor..lol...of coz like all st. gabs peeps, the topic will suddenly shift to..so how ? got girlfriend a not?....haha and we were all talking about wei ren and daryl lor...lol...and he told me that how come all those that went to JC all changed so much...especially those that went to CJ..haha that I have no answer...come to think of it...its quite true leh....from wad I see from the poly peeps, they seems to me that there is hardly any change in them leh...they are all the same as when they were in Sec.4 ....those wonderful characters...haha

I also suddenly felt some sort of hint from him that " Eugene, u also have changed a lot"...that sort of feeling lor...although he never said that, I felt it from him...so...that night was talking with ben, on the way home lor...asking him whether did he feels that I got changed or smthg...he says he not sure coz we almost every week still meet up mah...dunno why though i know that change is inevitable, but am always scared of changes ever since young...dunno whether the change is a good thing or a bad thing lor...maybe CJ made most of us like edgar and me to be more open and more sociable lor..coz of the enviroment and all...haha so for those who wants to come to CJ, this is another plus point lor...and CJC offers a lot of leaderships opportunities and all the other programmes that other JC doesnt have....wah like some advertisment sia...

But, yeah so its true that change is inevitable lor...after what I have been through, heard, seen and stuff...I cannot go back to who I was anymore...no..I dont think I can...but I still have the choice on how to live my life..haha so I am most probably the same old and super lame Eugene lor...lol...Close yet open...haha I think that sort of describe me now lor...shucks reminded me about a GP question sia...lol...

Went out on a date...

Went out on a date...

Whoa on thursday morning, woke up to a bright and sunny day...with the birds chirping....then...DRILLING sounds from the nearby construction site lor....damn those noises...lol...irritating sia...haha so drag myself out of bed and went to eat breakfast lor...then juz stoned again...haha...damn sianz lor...so in order for me not to become a real 'stone'...juz realised that Bryan recommend me a website where can download free themes for my HP...and soon spent the next 2 hours searching through all the various thems from Gundam and Bleach to mountains and the oceans....after looking at all the different ones..settle on Initial D...haha actually wanted bleach lor...but there are not many nice ones out there leh...eventually was late for my date...lol...so in the end late by about 10 minutes...haha i always late de lor...

So I went to meet my date lor...aiyah okok should stop this stupid nonsense..anw its only my uncle lor...haha dun think will have any girl go out with me lah...haha anw very long never go out with my uncle so its not bad lor...well u have the free food...and...hey....thats not the point can!!...haha..that day kelly still call me weird, wah kao wads wrong with going out my uncle lor...ok maybe he is 30+....but he still quite a bit young at heart lor...ok..hmm..except that he is becoming very naggy nowadays..but well thats the problem of getting old..haha yeah so went out and spent the afternoon with him lor...watch the movie "little man" with him...haha its damn super funny lor...but ok its rather also horny show..haiz wad to do, its a USA show lor...not bad lah...laugh till our heads almost drop off sia...haha super hillarious lor...

Anw , juz realised that I hardly watch any "serious" show lor...ever since Aeon Flux....ok thats one not counted coz we sneak in one..haha..have always been watching comedies or cartoons lor...haha Life already so complex and sianz, watch that sort of shows juz make it worse lor...haha ok bet most of ya out there will disagree with me bah..but yeah I always prefer funny shows lor...Laughter is the best medicine lor...haha thats true wad...anw juz thot of an analogy...making a choice to watch a comedy or a serious or a horror show, is akin to making a choice on how one wants to view life lor...ur life can either be a happy or a sad or a tragic life...its always depends on how one chooses...isn't

Came back and went to MSN to chat a bit and surf the net for awhile lor...in the end spent most time chatting..lol...up to 6 msn windows pop up lor...lol...so got to keep changing my frequency rapidly...haha...also didnt knw that Muddy also like anime sia...cool found another anime khaki...liao...didnt know also that she watched slam dunk...haha and like all gals they also like Rukawra...coz he is the most pro. and the MVP lor...ahaha as usual...but also very nice lor...like dunno where she got my HP number and still can say sorry for abruptly ending the conversation lor coz of com. problems...very rare lor nowadays...as most peeps juz end the conversation and juz zhao...w/o saying bye or anything...so I always assume that its normal lor..haha...wah wonder how she get my number...scary sia...one day she can juz sabo me and get pizza hut to send 3 pizzas over and get me to pay..wah kao...damn hen du sia....so guys tell ya smthg ah....never ever.....offend a gal sia...if not the consequences can be dire....dont say I never warn u ah...

Prelims are over!!!!...but there is still a lot left to do...

Prelims are over!!!!...but there is still a lot left to do...

Today its the last day of prelims liao...haha finally its over...but it doesnt feels like a prelim lor...unlike secondary school, where it was so frantic and urgent...but now....strangely got no feelings or wadsoever lor....weird lor..is it numb by all the tests liao...or wad lor..haha I also dunno...strange isnt ??

Evaluation of Prelims:

C maths...(shit! cant get an A liao...or maybe even a B....OMG!!!)

Physics...( totally @%$£ screwed up...haiz)

Economics...(feels ok...but such a topic is super unpredictable lor)

GP...(haha...need I say more...)

Whoa...today went home and stunned lor...haha wanted to play some games in the end laze around for almost 5 hours doing.....nothing...yeah thats basically it lor...haha shucks feel like taking up a maths prelim paper and do it all over again...lol...shucks study too much liao..lol..anw Ben loh still got mock A levels papers lor almost directly after his prelims lor...wah kao..HC jiu si HC..hardcore jc sia...haha and they only had a day break...ok not really considered a break lor...coz he still must go prepare for his mock A levels lor...haha damn sad life sia...btu not bad lor at leasr hit helps to reinforce the content and skills in him bah..lol...

127 Days...

127 Days...

Yoz to all~~ so how are ur prelims everyone??...lol...mine so far hasnt been that gd lor...coz physics is dying and econs only can pray now lor...lol...and tml is maths C paper but it seems like very sianz like tht leh...dun feel like studying maths but go and study physics which still have paper 3 next week lor....or is it got nothing to practise liao...so thats why so sianz and that's why got no mood to do maths...hmm....but later muz go and push myself to do lor...coz I dont think that I am at that level yet....the level where my As are guaranteed...so gotta long way to go sia...haha

U all muz be wondering why i put 127 days...A levels is much nearer than that lor...haha yeah it is..actually its a song from Vanness Wu and Kangta...apparently it is written by Kangta which is based on his own life experience......if I didnt listen to the lyrics wrongly(its in chinese btw)...it is depicting about when he is rejected or break-up bah...and 127 days eversince the gal said that to him, thats is how long he has been suffering lor...wah approximately 4 months and about 7 days lor....whoa...didnt know he young that time is such a person:P...or maybe its juz another marketing gimmick(hmm....)very interesting sia... but overall the song is quite nice lor..though MV is damn stupid lah....dunno who came out with such a lousy script( shaking head)

Yesterday, Siew May suddenly gave me a call lor...super surprise lor....and I always complained to maine that she muz have forgotten about me liao...lol...apparently she got no tuition at that point of time and " sianz si mei si zhuo"...thats why suddenly called me lor...haha and I kept on saying that she tao me lor....everytime msg her never reply liao...realised that everytime she calls will be during my end-year exams de lor...haha how conincidental lor!!...yeah and she was asking me how I am and all...quite long never see her liao about 2 years le....wow....so long already...haha then we chatting on what happened to the other guys ( and gals)....asked about diane and how she is lor....found out that she gotten back to her boyfren and that now she is now studying in a private Australian school bah...haha not bad for her lor also asked about trevor and eric...and they are doing well in their respectives polys lor....then she asked me about Sera...haha of coz she is doing better than me lor ( 4 As lei!!!)...yeah and was really nice to talk with her again...haha or maybe she is a cousellor so thats make it easier...lol...anw according to her I never really changed...which is quite surprising coz I always thot that in secondary school, I was like damn quiet and reserved lor....hmm...but she says in front of her its not like that lei...haha. Always thot that after J1 1st 3 months, I become damn loony...and basically talk crap a lot ...she also says that wo bi jiao kai lang....haha really meh??...I thought I was always like that....lol...maybe now I dont really treat most things too seriously liao lor...able to see things in a broader picture....or maybe not.....

Recently, I have friends whom says that I am too simple-minded and that next time society will be very harsh for me...and I was juz thinking whether will I become like those people with so complicated thinking and always do not trust people so easily...but such a thinking is very narrow isn't it...my mum always tell me not to let ur emotions take over my life and if I let that to happen, then life is going to be damn horrible to me lor...maybe thats true lor...coz maybe I trust people too easily but I always believe in smthg like if u dun trust the opp. party, then why should the other side trust u?...But in society today, its a bit stupid to have such a thinking right??...yeah lor thats why lah...but I will still trust people but I will be more cautious bah...

She was telling me yesterday that juz be myself and handle things in ways that I feel comfortable in, whether it seems stupid or a very naive way...juz do it lor coz sometimes being simple-minded is ok...but as long as one muz know when someone else is using u or have ulterior motives...

She also did talk about other things like the recent promiscuous lifestyle that most S'poreans teens are having nowadays......she was saying that for all we know I might become such a person...at 1st I was like NO!!!!....but on hindsight...I dont tink I will ever know right...I mean the future is in front of us but we never know how is the future like lor...For all we know, we may become people that we dont want to be in the future due to circumstances and all...Now there are some things that I am doing that definitely in the past I was condemning such behaviour...so if ppl keep asking me various such questions like " will u have pre-maritial sex" or " will u send ur parents to old folks home"...seriously if u ask me, I dont have an answer to that now...until I reached that situation and how I handled it then I can give u the answer...thats why now I understand the seriousness of promise and giving people my word...

Still remember as a kid, I always want my mum to get me a toy but she never once said that she will...so I can only keep on waiting till christmas to see whether she got get for me...and I always ask her why dont she juz says that she is getting for me....ok besides the surprise element lor...she ask me what if she promised me and I never got the toy, how will I feel...of coz as a kid I wasnt thinking so much at that point of time...I was playing with my transformer robot...wonder where it is now....yeah so thats why giving one ur word is so important lor...

She also made me realised that sometimes I am too tou ru in certain things lor because at this age lor...and I kept saying that I am so old:P...ok thats besides the point...yeah and that a lot of things one should juz be careful and not get too emo. bout a lot of things and stuff so muz learn how to let it go at times lor...

Actually if people really knows me,I tend to learn through people's experience and stuff and I always think a lot coz like I want to see whether I can find myself yet and should I meet with the same incident how should I handle it...so its like playing com games lah..always trying to get an upgrade and stuff...of coz there are times when I would think about life and other philospohical stuffs...so yeah lor

Seriously, before I end, I think my sis. is damn zai lah...haha she like me sometimes also think a lot but she can read into most people's mind de lor...ooh scary haha...and she gave me an insight on a lot of things ...sometimes wonder who is the elder in the family sia...lol...

Most times we humans cannot see what we have and thats why we are always eager for something that we dont have, but if u juz turn around, u will realise that actually u have a lot of things that many others dont have...

Finally said it out...finally

Finally said it out...finally

That day went to get ben's present coz it was his birthday, and finally gotten a nice shirt for him...haha and he later say it also fit him to a T...woohoo...1st time buy shirt and 1st time managed to get his size right...lol...damn happy...anw that shirt was also very nice lor...shucks thought of getting one for myself as well lor...too bad the sale wont last for long lor...haha

That day, after tuition went back and got Sam. to call me...coz wanted to talk to her...and so coincidence that her pet hamster juz 'passed away'..so yeah it was very saddening for her...dunno why when she pressed me to tell her whats wrong with me, and then I said it all out...the last time I did that was also around 12...shucks always that timing de lor...haha but seriously lah it was a rather amusing yet unforgettable experience...and only she can think of that..lol...and I was like hiding in the kitchen chatting with her....behind me is a washing machine and was surrounded by clothes, so it was really surprising to see my bro. came out and said that I was talking too loudly...and I thought I was actually whispering liao leh...or is it that I always talk very loud...hmm...maybe...haha yeah so talk for 2 hours bah...so it was ok not so bad lor...the longest conversation I had on the phone was like 4 hours lah..with a guy who was suffering from constant rejections by a gal..hmm....thats like so long ago liao...

Hopefully, by saying it out that I am able to concentrate better in my studies...but wont deny that there will surely be at times some distractions lor...so yeah lor...but was talking with her yesterday, after sending her fren home, that I realised that I have not been seeing things in a broader picture for a long time...maybe I havent mature yet bah and all...thats y so late then realised lor...haha and that I have been stagnant for quite sometime...she told me to juz be myself and handle things in my own way lor..thats wat she likes....and come to think of it..yeah its true lah coz I kenna swayed by others that I was caught off balance...and yeah she was really nice..did something totally unexpected lor..yeah was really touching and heart-warming lor...and it gives the courage and belief to carry on with my life...yeah so...its really nice lor...if u want to put in that sense lor...yeah so its back to mugging liao=)

" Although I didnt get the answer yet, but I will be waiting for the day U will tell me...so dun worry, juz take ur time...be it for months or years...I will wait".....actually I know saying this is very easy and it is nothing compared to actually doing it...yeah but I still try and do my best lor=D

Do you believe in fate?

Do you believe in fate?

Yesterday was juz chatting with Sam. and juz briefly touched on this topic...okay its not so brief...rather in depth...lol...yeah. Do u sometimes wonder why u can get along so well with someone even though u never knew that person before?...then do u ever wonder why some people tried so hard at something and still never be able to achieve it?...Of course, most people will says that the person never try hard enough...but ceteris paribus, lets us look at the real extreme cases...a guy jio a gal for 6 years...ok make it 4...but why is he never successful??...he is not so any pia kia or ah beng, he is decent, hardworking and overall ...erm....nice...yeah so why he wasnt successful?? But suddenly within a year he got another girlfriend already...wow look at the huge contrast sia...so is this what we termed as Fate??...it seems very mystical and stuff that a lot things in life happen without a valid reason...isnt it very intriguing...but I still feel that alhtough fate and destiny seems to map out our lives for us...however, we should not totally juz let go of our lives and let fate dictates our 100 years...it is our decisions that ultimately creates out destiny or fate..it is our choices that makes each individual's destiny...but of coz those proponents for fate will agrue that dont fate also decide our choices thats why we follow very different path from others...haha so now we are back at square one again...lol...so actually feels that such topics are very hypothetical and is based on what one really believes in and one's mindset...thats why Aristotle and Darwin's theories are not totally true though there is some truth in it....

Oh man...feels like writing a GP essay...OMG...lol...but juz feels great to write some cheem stuff every now and then...de-stress mah...lol....back to mugging lo=)

Something that I thought of...

Something that I thought of...

She was leaning on me, oblivious to everything that is passing. The sun sets, and the night passes...under the stars she is leaning against me, in a deep slumber. I look out towards the night, the stars, thinking was everything worthwhile??...she was happily against me...I can hear her breathing softly...Does she knows how I feel about her?...As I sat there, shielding her from the wind and dusts, how does she treat me as??...A very good friend or someone whom she can depend on her entire life...When will she give me that answer?...only time will tell...in the meantime, I will keep my promise of being there for her whenever she needs me...till the end of time...but I am juz glad to have her behind me...right now time seems to be non-existent...and slowly I find myself smiling=)....

Actually, this is juz something that I thought of when I look at an anime picture that my fren sent to me...if it is rather sianz and depressing, paiseh lah...haha I will try to think of another more happy paragraph for it lor..lol...Anw the anime photo depicts a gal leaning on the guy's back. She was sleeping while he was staring into the sky...but he doesnt look like he was smiling..so thats why I thought of such a depressing paragraph lor...haha...or maybe its juz reflects how I am feeling right now...hmmm...

Updates...

Updates...

Pre-lims are approaching but it seems that I havent reach the level of mugging that I was expected yet...and I dont seem very urgent too...OMG....is it that I think I am ready or not...shucks man...hmm....dunno lah I think for now at least juz try to mug every day lor...haha lol... this weekend wish: to finish up the last 2 chapter notes for econs...so far today juz did my RJC paper for tuition finsh!!! yeah!!! but....nthg else liao...LOL....so again rather slack...but from monday onwards its prelims papers all the way liao...hoping my strategy works sia!!!!...haha..So have to do whatever I can do now to "stop the boat from sinking, and start rowing"=)...

I have been officially labled as a paedophile, a Garfield....OMG.....from mashimaro to patrick the starfish to Garfield the cat...( shaking head)...why cant anyone say...shuai ge....lol...okok was jkjkjk...haha amazing sia how many personalties that people can think of u...shocking man

Distractions..and questions that need answers

Distractions...and questions that need answers

I have always thought that I could balance my personal problems and studies together and that I wont follow the path of one whom had already fallen before...I told myself what was important and had to set my priorities right...haha how wrong was I...For the past weekend, I had fallen prey to something that I thought that I had figured out, it distracted me from my work though Bryan felt otherwise but I know myself...

After visiting the temple today and chatting with Bryan, they brought me back to my senses...the uncle at the temple today talk about scholarships and hope that I can get one so that my parents will not have to slog so hard because there is also my other siblings education that they had to worry about. Before today, I have never thought once about getting a scholarship because my mum told me that she had it all figured out liao...but Sam was right, we cannot always depend on our parents and I know definitely that a scholarship will definitely help them financially and all...In the evening, had a talk with Bryan, he was right...he told me a phrase which previously I hold fast to " Remember about your other friend"...when he said that I suddenly felt like" yeah...I remember and what I am doing now is akin to he did "...he said that I should know where my priorities lies and has faith in me that I can set it straight again...Being in numerous situations before, he was right...it juz reminded me on how we humans are so vulnerable to our emotions and stuff...anw a guy ought to know which is more important right?...haha hopefully I have already straightened it out lor...ever since that conversation, I suddenly lost my bearings and all...but now I think I know what I should do already...

Hopefully, I had not make a wrong decision or anything but I know I dont want to regret something later on in life when I reflect on 2006 again...no...I dont want that...Now the problem is settled and should end here, right at this time...10.23 pm...I should not be swayed anymore and must hold fast to my beliefs and goals...this is the 'mountain' that is in front of me..." If I cannot climb over it, I must go round it...If I cannot go round it....then I must dig a tunnel through it...no matter what it takes, I must get past this 'mountain'..." I suppose this is called DETERMINATION...am I right Sam.?....haha ya so thanks for showing me that card and btw where is the testimonial draft ??....haha

Someone told me about a phrase " Nan Ren Bu Huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai"....haha so is it true??...hmm I guess so its right lor...because there are always such cases out there...I can proved that...lol...anw another weekend is over, a new week is beginning and the preliminary exams are here...another battle is about to begin..so gotta keep ploughing...wish me luck lor....haha


"Remember the shit, the sweat, the pain and all your hard work...."
" Mind of steel, it will bring u far in life"...said by my secondary school teacher...rather inspiring isn't =)

Sad Case (shaking head)

Sad Case...(shaking head)

This entry is juz a short entry on one of my classmates in class, apparently he is a very weird fellow, apparently doing weird stuff though he is rather hardworking. Recently, his blog was read by some other classmates and soon it spread to both my class and to the other class and apparently he liked someone...yeah and that was scary enough...however soon his blog has become an obession with everyone in my class and apparently some felt offended by it as he openly criticise some of us in his blog, though most find that offensive but to me, i think its his blog and he has a right to be responsible for his entries and ya he should be more discretive...At 1st, found this whole blog thing to be amusing as we dont really know him as a person but as time passes sort of felt sorry for him...Apparently now, he seems to regard the entire world as his enemies, remebered one of his entries he wrote the top 4 scorers in our class and he wants to bring them down at all costs..ooh scary!!...in his recent entries he even said that there is no friends in this world and that everyone is out to be competitors against each other...haiz at this rate he is going, he is either going to lose his mind or he will have no one to depend in the future...

I feel that no matter where one is , friends are needed coz they will be the ones to help u...and how u are going to live a life where u dont open to any one for 100 years...man that will be so lonely, or maybe like what Francis will put it...he dont even have pretended friends...roughly what francis meant was like acquaintances...or juz those one of ur average " hi" friends..for all u know they may be those who could provide u a helping hand in the future. By closing one's world to everything else is aint going to help lor...sama like China...close economy for so many years and only progress by a lot by opening her doors lor...haiz pity him but for all u knw army might changed him as army lived by the strict rule of trust among ur platoon mates...of coz provided u dont go and try to offend them lor...

Tears and Relieved

Tears and relieved...

After school went to look for Sam...coz Sam. got some problems and all...so thats a very valid reason mah...best friend got tai zi muz go help rite??..yeah lor...I knew that after the jue zhan she will definitely be very down so went to get a packet of gummy bears to cheer her up...makes me think of what Francis always says...idiot fellow...haha lol...Went to look for her at her school, saw her...she look very down..next thing I knew...she was crying in front of me...ok I wont deny that I was momentarily stunned...hey...such situation I never encounter before lah...unless u count the time when my baby cousin was crying...yeah anyway she was very very upset lor...feel like juz want to give her a hug and say that everything will be ok and stuff...but thought otherwise, will be a bit paiseh lor...so juz put my hand over her shoulder lor...well at least after awhile she stop, and explain what happen...

Apparently, the reason that her friends was damn lame lah..and to a certain extent narrow-minded, I mean if someone wants to tell u what happen, he or she will definitely tell u de lor. However in the case, that person doesnt want to tell u, then there muz be some sort of reason bah and there is no need to force the person to tell u everything right?And the worse thing is that her frenz doubted her lor..wah kao..that really got me angry sia...zao le peng you for so long and u still dont trust her, idiots man!!!...Seriously damn idiot lah...if thats some kind of valid reason then this world, really got some serious problem sia...Oh hindsight, can definitely understand why her frenz will demand such things from her, coz if someone bare their soul to u , they expect the u do the same to them...that I sort of understand coz I definitely felt that way before...I think its rather innate in all of us with this mentality of " li shang wang lai"...so yeah can sort of understand why her frenz felt that she was in the wrong. But the very last thing that they should ever do was not to trust her, frenz for so long dunno whether to trust a not...if cannot be trusted then why muz be friends in the 1st place...some knew her for over a year liao some was even 6 years...for such a long time and now u tell me that u dun trust the person, after so long...friends got various levels...that I knw...dont tell me that sometimes i need to talk to someone, the opposite side muz do the same with me...remembered once I was really down, needed to talk to someone and I went to talk with Daryl, yeah he listened to me and everything...very nice guy...but I will not expect him to tell me everything about himself...ok except the incident when he had a girlfriend and never tell any of the gabrielites for some time...HEY but thats not the point, anyway eventually he still did told everyone...yeah
lor

Anyway, today also finally gotten back my CSQ and I got 16/30..apparently higher than the class average but felt that could have gotten better marks...coz I am very afraid for my Essay writings and stuff lor ....but hey overall I gotten a C..or 59 to be exact...1 more mark to a B...hopefully can sustained the grades there lor as the pre-lims are getting nearer and of coz. the ultimate of all....the A levels!!!!!...wah!!!!.....people muz take shelter!!!!...lol...sorry sorry got too carried away...btw I will be getting a new phone!!! haha ....its a sony phone too lor...with all due respects to other phone lovers...Sony Ericsson rocks man!!...praying very hard that my present phone dont die on me or something...if not cannot trade in and it will cause a huge hole in my pocket...or rather my savings...lol...now its the time to cheong liao..basically so far all my tests and mocks have been ok...but the next battle will be the pre-lims..."Prepare for battle, return to ur posts!!!"....thats what Gandalf said in LOTR:ROTK....haha sounds damn cool lah...and shucks juz remembered that muz cheong stats liao.....OMG

" The journey is ending, I still cannot see the shore but I know that's where my destination lies...now its for the last burst, the sprint to the finish....the race has juz only begun."

Precious hours wasted...but it was worth it =)

It was worth it =)

Last saturday intended to complete Nuclear physics, ideal gases and quantum physics and physics of fluids...in the end it was only nuclear and ideal...lol...waste time lor...nah...it was worth it...About 1pm, Sam. suddenly called and ask whether can go meet her downstairs coz she was feeling upset...so went down and juz listen to her problems lor...apparently it was something to do with her frenz lor...haiz kinda sad for her...frenz for so long then such things have to happen, seriously lah...if the problem was due to some one back stabbing or wadsoever( i think 70%)...I really think those people really got something seriously wrong with their mindsets sia...but anw thats the harshness of reality lor...though sad but true...

After went to esplanade there, to see whether is there any place in the esplanade to studying...apparently so 'lucky' to meet up with one of her friends but we decided to go somewhere else to study lor...in the end settle at Millenia Walk the coffee bean there...haha actually there not bad lor...the air-con is not as cold as J8 one...=). Finished my nuclear and ideal gases there...so studied from about 4.30 to 7.45 lor...not much rite...lol...

Went to MS for dinner, the foodcourt was rather big and lots of people, the food was..hmm..okok lor...what can I say..its a foodcourt..lol...haha so after that went to walk from the esplanade to the Merlion there...lol actually it can be said to be my idea lor coz I never been to see the merlion ever since it was shifted over the esplanade bridge...haha..well lots of locals and some tourists..especially japanese..wonder why...suddenly realised that Singapore city scenery was very nice and bright lor..absolutely beautiful...haha

Along the way home, got a little gal in front of our seat, then she was complaining about the people behind singing( thats us)...lol...ok only Sam. coz I was only lip-syching...lol...apparently the young gal should care about her own business only lor...but hey maybe she is still too young to understand thay:P...haha

Not very well done...

Not very well done...

Today marks the end of another week again...lol...time passes rather fast dont u think...anw so far has receive my econs marks for both the MCQ and DRQ liao....got 19 and 12 respectively....though happy for my MCQ..was very dissapointed with the DRQ marks...seems that everyone in class did relatively quite well lor....so chao sianz lah...also got only 22.5 for GP compre. (shakes head)hopefully can see some improvements in the future...well juz have to carry on mugging lor...lol...

Also, today juz misplaced my calculator lor...wah kao...xi bei sianz sia....after so many years liao..doubt will find it ever again...haiz...pei yang gan qing le lor....haha but U never know..for all we know this might spell the start of me getting much better results than ever...haha...man sounds so superstitious lor...

Of coz now the main talk of the class is PF, coz of his oddities and that freaking mindset that he has, appraently it has also spread to the other class liao...Anw I think he is very very fragile inside bah and eventually coz him to have a weird mindset and all those stuff....feels that he is giving himself too much stress lor...maybe it might help him to improve but feels that sooner or later he will break down soon lor...this is what happens when one cannot deals with stress lor and wad Sam. said is rather true lor...one gotta sympathise with that fellow lor...

Hahaha....it seems that gals are rather gossipy..lol( actually we guys are also:P)...met zhenyi and calissa at the bus stop and they want to ask me more about PF...juz nice 153 came..so gotta go and zhenyi was like trying to get me to stay and 'gossip' more....ahaha..very funny lor..lol... anw they are very nice peeps lor...haha and calissa btw is very tall, found someone to fight with hwee jun liao...haha...yeah

Was trying to do some physics in class lor and of coz ended up chatting with tiara, dez and cw lor...haha and was very funny lor coz they all started poking at each other BF and GF...and I so poor thing...lol....haha jkjk only lah and the conversations was very funny lor...bikinis and stuff...seems like everyone is struggling with physics lor...regretting taking the subject but if given me a choice again, most probably I will still be taking the same subject lor...haha got no choice wad...chemistry sucks to the core and Arts aint the type for me...so well there u go...haha

This weekend is start of the EPL...in better times I will have celebrate liao and get all the beer cans out but this year not really liao lor...haha but this year got the As..so still must mug lor and anw I think I am going to throw away the physics mock...insufficient time to study finish so I am going to look straight at the prelims!!!....haha so muz jia you and anw nw cannot lose confidence and give up or put too much stress on myself if not become like PF:P....ooh scary sia...haha

" Journey is coming to an end, but what sort of ending we dont know...good or bad is up to ourselves to decide"

Missed a chance...

Missed

Hey, today finally gotten back my maths mock exam results liao...and I gotten back my A....whoo hoo!!!...hoping can get 80 but gotten only 72 though I put in 2 weeks of maths lor...sianz but its ok I still gotten back my A and thats what it matters...

Today morning Sam. msg me early in the morning lor, said she pon school again...lol...as usual and gotten into a quarrel with her mum...haiz...was supposed to go look for her in town after school but later msg me that her friend also pon to pei her...lol...so lucky gal lor...bet muz be the VJC one...coz VJ is so far one of the jc that can pon de lor...zai rite??...hope she is alright... juz now gave her a call, seems that she is ok...actually dunno the problem but think that she is able to cope bah and anw she also have her best friend to help her lor...so she should be ok bah....I hope...

Anw, juz came back from school then spent some time downloading the songs from justin and now blogging lor...haha...it seems that I have been rather slack liao and maybe coz of myself getting disillusioned with life bah but after yesterday when I took the entire night off doing nothing, felt much better liao...so gotta restart my engine and sit down and do some serious work...haha

Hmm....till now still got no clue on how to study physics, should I be like francis and start doing prelim papers even if I am not very sure with the chapters....but that way I tried b4 with the mid-years and it doesnt seems to work leh...so either I throw this mock away and start preparations for my prelims bah...maybe I should do just that...anw most probably this will be the last break I am taking...so in the future may not blog that often...but hey u knw wat? my frequency of blogging has also decrease liao...lol...anw now I often end at 1pm liao in school haha got more time to study and ask for consultation!!!...anw gotta keep my head up and smile always and all u peeps out there should also do the same=D SHOW UR TEETH PEOPLE!!!!.....haha ok sounds damn hyper...

Before signing of, this is to 'auntie'... no matter what happens, I will be there for you...so if got anything juz contact me =)...ok I think I said that lots of time liao...ahaha in the meantime.....STAY HAPPY yeah?



" Been sitting down and staring down the road,wondering what the next turn will bring...much time has been wasted, its time to get ur bum up and pluck up my courage and see what is round the bend...U never know what it will be but its definitely gonna be something great..one way or other=)"