Distractions..and questions that need answers

Distractions...and questions that need answers

I have always thought that I could balance my personal problems and studies together and that I wont follow the path of one whom had already fallen before...I told myself what was important and had to set my priorities right...haha how wrong was I...For the past weekend, I had fallen prey to something that I thought that I had figured out, it distracted me from my work though Bryan felt otherwise but I know myself...

After visiting the temple today and chatting with Bryan, they brought me back to my senses...the uncle at the temple today talk about scholarships and hope that I can get one so that my parents will not have to slog so hard because there is also my other siblings education that they had to worry about. Before today, I have never thought once about getting a scholarship because my mum told me that she had it all figured out liao...but Sam was right, we cannot always depend on our parents and I know definitely that a scholarship will definitely help them financially and all...In the evening, had a talk with Bryan, he was right...he told me a phrase which previously I hold fast to " Remember about your other friend"...when he said that I suddenly felt like" yeah...I remember and what I am doing now is akin to he did "...he said that I should know where my priorities lies and has faith in me that I can set it straight again...Being in numerous situations before, he was right...it juz reminded me on how we humans are so vulnerable to our emotions and stuff...anw a guy ought to know which is more important right?...haha hopefully I have already straightened it out lor...ever since that conversation, I suddenly lost my bearings and all...but now I think I know what I should do already...

Hopefully, I had not make a wrong decision or anything but I know I dont want to regret something later on in life when I reflect on 2006 again...no...I dont want that...Now the problem is settled and should end here, right at this time...10.23 pm...I should not be swayed anymore and must hold fast to my beliefs and goals...this is the 'mountain' that is in front of me..." If I cannot climb over it, I must go round it...If I cannot go round it....then I must dig a tunnel through it...no matter what it takes, I must get past this 'mountain'..." I suppose this is called DETERMINATION...am I right Sam.?....haha ya so thanks for showing me that card and btw where is the testimonial draft ??....haha

Someone told me about a phrase " Nan Ren Bu Huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai"....haha so is it true??...hmm I guess so its right lor...because there are always such cases out there...I can proved that...lol...anw another weekend is over, a new week is beginning and the preliminary exams are here...another battle is about to begin..so gotta keep ploughing...wish me luck lor....haha


"Remember the shit, the sweat, the pain and all your hard work...."
" Mind of steel, it will bring u far in life"...said by my secondary school teacher...rather inspiring isn't =)

Sad Case (shaking head)

Sad Case...(shaking head)

This entry is juz a short entry on one of my classmates in class, apparently he is a very weird fellow, apparently doing weird stuff though he is rather hardworking. Recently, his blog was read by some other classmates and soon it spread to both my class and to the other class and apparently he liked someone...yeah and that was scary enough...however soon his blog has become an obession with everyone in my class and apparently some felt offended by it as he openly criticise some of us in his blog, though most find that offensive but to me, i think its his blog and he has a right to be responsible for his entries and ya he should be more discretive...At 1st, found this whole blog thing to be amusing as we dont really know him as a person but as time passes sort of felt sorry for him...Apparently now, he seems to regard the entire world as his enemies, remebered one of his entries he wrote the top 4 scorers in our class and he wants to bring them down at all costs..ooh scary!!...in his recent entries he even said that there is no friends in this world and that everyone is out to be competitors against each other...haiz at this rate he is going, he is either going to lose his mind or he will have no one to depend in the future...

I feel that no matter where one is , friends are needed coz they will be the ones to help u...and how u are going to live a life where u dont open to any one for 100 years...man that will be so lonely, or maybe like what Francis will put it...he dont even have pretended friends...roughly what francis meant was like acquaintances...or juz those one of ur average " hi" friends..for all u know they may be those who could provide u a helping hand in the future. By closing one's world to everything else is aint going to help lor...sama like China...close economy for so many years and only progress by a lot by opening her doors lor...haiz pity him but for all u knw army might changed him as army lived by the strict rule of trust among ur platoon mates...of coz provided u dont go and try to offend them lor...

Tears and Relieved

Tears and relieved...

After school went to look for Sam...coz Sam. got some problems and all...so thats a very valid reason mah...best friend got tai zi muz go help rite??..yeah lor...I knew that after the jue zhan she will definitely be very down so went to get a packet of gummy bears to cheer her up...makes me think of what Francis always says...idiot fellow...haha lol...Went to look for her at her school, saw her...she look very down..next thing I knew...she was crying in front of me...ok I wont deny that I was momentarily stunned...hey...such situation I never encounter before lah...unless u count the time when my baby cousin was crying...yeah anyway she was very very upset lor...feel like juz want to give her a hug and say that everything will be ok and stuff...but thought otherwise, will be a bit paiseh lor...so juz put my hand over her shoulder lor...well at least after awhile she stop, and explain what happen...

Apparently, the reason that her friends was damn lame lah..and to a certain extent narrow-minded, I mean if someone wants to tell u what happen, he or she will definitely tell u de lor. However in the case, that person doesnt want to tell u, then there muz be some sort of reason bah and there is no need to force the person to tell u everything right?And the worse thing is that her frenz doubted her lor..wah kao..that really got me angry sia...zao le peng you for so long and u still dont trust her, idiots man!!!...Seriously damn idiot lah...if thats some kind of valid reason then this world, really got some serious problem sia...Oh hindsight, can definitely understand why her frenz will demand such things from her, coz if someone bare their soul to u , they expect the u do the same to them...that I sort of understand coz I definitely felt that way before...I think its rather innate in all of us with this mentality of " li shang wang lai"...so yeah can sort of understand why her frenz felt that she was in the wrong. But the very last thing that they should ever do was not to trust her, frenz for so long dunno whether to trust a not...if cannot be trusted then why muz be friends in the 1st place...some knew her for over a year liao some was even 6 years...for such a long time and now u tell me that u dun trust the person, after so long...friends got various levels...that I knw...dont tell me that sometimes i need to talk to someone, the opposite side muz do the same with me...remembered once I was really down, needed to talk to someone and I went to talk with Daryl, yeah he listened to me and everything...very nice guy...but I will not expect him to tell me everything about himself...ok except the incident when he had a girlfriend and never tell any of the gabrielites for some time...HEY but thats not the point, anyway eventually he still did told everyone...yeah
lor

Anyway, today also finally gotten back my CSQ and I got 16/30..apparently higher than the class average but felt that could have gotten better marks...coz I am very afraid for my Essay writings and stuff lor ....but hey overall I gotten a C..or 59 to be exact...1 more mark to a B...hopefully can sustained the grades there lor as the pre-lims are getting nearer and of coz. the ultimate of all....the A levels!!!!!...wah!!!!.....people muz take shelter!!!!...lol...sorry sorry got too carried away...btw I will be getting a new phone!!! haha ....its a sony phone too lor...with all due respects to other phone lovers...Sony Ericsson rocks man!!...praying very hard that my present phone dont die on me or something...if not cannot trade in and it will cause a huge hole in my pocket...or rather my savings...lol...now its the time to cheong liao..basically so far all my tests and mocks have been ok...but the next battle will be the pre-lims..."Prepare for battle, return to ur posts!!!"....thats what Gandalf said in LOTR:ROTK....haha sounds damn cool lah...and shucks juz remembered that muz cheong stats liao.....OMG

" The journey is ending, I still cannot see the shore but I know that's where my destination lies...now its for the last burst, the sprint to the finish....the race has juz only begun."

Precious hours wasted...but it was worth it =)

It was worth it =)

Last saturday intended to complete Nuclear physics, ideal gases and quantum physics and physics of fluids...in the end it was only nuclear and ideal...lol...waste time lor...nah...it was worth it...About 1pm, Sam. suddenly called and ask whether can go meet her downstairs coz she was feeling upset...so went down and juz listen to her problems lor...apparently it was something to do with her frenz lor...haiz kinda sad for her...frenz for so long then such things have to happen, seriously lah...if the problem was due to some one back stabbing or wadsoever( i think 70%)...I really think those people really got something seriously wrong with their mindsets sia...but anw thats the harshness of reality lor...though sad but true...

After went to esplanade there, to see whether is there any place in the esplanade to studying...apparently so 'lucky' to meet up with one of her friends but we decided to go somewhere else to study lor...in the end settle at Millenia Walk the coffee bean there...haha actually there not bad lor...the air-con is not as cold as J8 one...=). Finished my nuclear and ideal gases there...so studied from about 4.30 to 7.45 lor...not much rite...lol...

Went to MS for dinner, the foodcourt was rather big and lots of people, the food was..hmm..okok lor...what can I say..its a foodcourt..lol...haha so after that went to walk from the esplanade to the Merlion there...lol actually it can be said to be my idea lor coz I never been to see the merlion ever since it was shifted over the esplanade bridge...haha..well lots of locals and some tourists..especially japanese..wonder why...suddenly realised that Singapore city scenery was very nice and bright lor..absolutely beautiful...haha

Along the way home, got a little gal in front of our seat, then she was complaining about the people behind singing( thats us)...lol...ok only Sam. coz I was only lip-syching...lol...apparently the young gal should care about her own business only lor...but hey maybe she is still too young to understand thay:P...haha

Not very well done...

Not very well done...

Today marks the end of another week again...lol...time passes rather fast dont u think...anw so far has receive my econs marks for both the MCQ and DRQ liao....got 19 and 12 respectively....though happy for my MCQ..was very dissapointed with the DRQ marks...seems that everyone in class did relatively quite well lor....so chao sianz lah...also got only 22.5 for GP compre. (shakes head)hopefully can see some improvements in the future...well juz have to carry on mugging lor...lol...

Also, today juz misplaced my calculator lor...wah kao...xi bei sianz sia....after so many years liao..doubt will find it ever again...haiz...pei yang gan qing le lor....haha but U never know..for all we know this might spell the start of me getting much better results than ever...haha...man sounds so superstitious lor...

Of coz now the main talk of the class is PF, coz of his oddities and that freaking mindset that he has, appraently it has also spread to the other class liao...Anw I think he is very very fragile inside bah and eventually coz him to have a weird mindset and all those stuff....feels that he is giving himself too much stress lor...maybe it might help him to improve but feels that sooner or later he will break down soon lor...this is what happens when one cannot deals with stress lor and wad Sam. said is rather true lor...one gotta sympathise with that fellow lor...

Hahaha....it seems that gals are rather gossipy..lol( actually we guys are also:P)...met zhenyi and calissa at the bus stop and they want to ask me more about PF...juz nice 153 came..so gotta go and zhenyi was like trying to get me to stay and 'gossip' more....ahaha..very funny lor..lol... anw they are very nice peeps lor...haha and calissa btw is very tall, found someone to fight with hwee jun liao...haha...yeah

Was trying to do some physics in class lor and of coz ended up chatting with tiara, dez and cw lor...haha and was very funny lor coz they all started poking at each other BF and GF...and I so poor thing...lol....haha jkjk only lah and the conversations was very funny lor...bikinis and stuff...seems like everyone is struggling with physics lor...regretting taking the subject but if given me a choice again, most probably I will still be taking the same subject lor...haha got no choice wad...chemistry sucks to the core and Arts aint the type for me...so well there u go...haha

This weekend is start of the EPL...in better times I will have celebrate liao and get all the beer cans out but this year not really liao lor...haha but this year got the As..so still must mug lor and anw I think I am going to throw away the physics mock...insufficient time to study finish so I am going to look straight at the prelims!!!....haha so muz jia you and anw nw cannot lose confidence and give up or put too much stress on myself if not become like PF:P....ooh scary sia...haha

" Journey is coming to an end, but what sort of ending we dont know...good or bad is up to ourselves to decide"

Missed a chance...

Missed

Hey, today finally gotten back my maths mock exam results liao...and I gotten back my A....whoo hoo!!!...hoping can get 80 but gotten only 72 though I put in 2 weeks of maths lor...sianz but its ok I still gotten back my A and thats what it matters...

Today morning Sam. msg me early in the morning lor, said she pon school again...lol...as usual and gotten into a quarrel with her mum...haiz...was supposed to go look for her in town after school but later msg me that her friend also pon to pei her...lol...so lucky gal lor...bet muz be the VJC one...coz VJ is so far one of the jc that can pon de lor...zai rite??...hope she is alright... juz now gave her a call, seems that she is ok...actually dunno the problem but think that she is able to cope bah and anw she also have her best friend to help her lor...so she should be ok bah....I hope...

Anw, juz came back from school then spent some time downloading the songs from justin and now blogging lor...haha...it seems that I have been rather slack liao and maybe coz of myself getting disillusioned with life bah but after yesterday when I took the entire night off doing nothing, felt much better liao...so gotta restart my engine and sit down and do some serious work...haha

Hmm....till now still got no clue on how to study physics, should I be like francis and start doing prelim papers even if I am not very sure with the chapters....but that way I tried b4 with the mid-years and it doesnt seems to work leh...so either I throw this mock away and start preparations for my prelims bah...maybe I should do just that...anw most probably this will be the last break I am taking...so in the future may not blog that often...but hey u knw wat? my frequency of blogging has also decrease liao...lol...anw now I often end at 1pm liao in school haha got more time to study and ask for consultation!!!...anw gotta keep my head up and smile always and all u peeps out there should also do the same=D SHOW UR TEETH PEOPLE!!!!.....haha ok sounds damn hyper...

Before signing of, this is to 'auntie'... no matter what happens, I will be there for you...so if got anything juz contact me =)...ok I think I said that lots of time liao...ahaha in the meantime.....STAY HAPPY yeah?



" Been sitting down and staring down the road,wondering what the next turn will bring...much time has been wasted, its time to get ur bum up and pluck up my courage and see what is round the bend...U never know what it will be but its definitely gonna be something great..one way or other=)"

All hope seems to be lost...

In the darkest places there is a small speck of light...

Yesterday was my Maths mock exam, think I did fairly ok...hopefully can get an A...well hopefully lah...after 2 weeks of non-stop maths practise...sheesh...felt like einstein...all the maths formula in my head lor...lol....and now only 2 days to go to econs mock exam on monday...dunno how to prepare for the econs mock..which only consists of MCQ,DRQ,CSQ...so tell me how??...lol...

I think of throwing this mock away, will try out Sam. 's way of studying econs, read up and memorise the notes 1st after that do MCQ then follow by essay...outlines that is...and maybe before monday, I will try out 3 DRQ by then...so hopefully by the end of the month I will be able to finish all my econs stuff...so far have covered JC1 econs already so now left JC2...

Actually, thats not really my main problem...I think the real problem is in Physics...yesterday was doing the pre-lim paper in tuition,realise that there is a lot chapter that I am not good in..and that time is running out...so please someone tell me how to get through this....so still struggling how to cope with physics...maybe should do more MCQ...

After the maths mock yesterday, was feeling very surreal...felt that at least this time I felt that I had already tried my best...but after tuition, depression starts to set in again..sianz...still ask ben out for a drink...I mean like beer those stuff lor, and he was stunned thought I became like YL liao...always drinking...lol...anw really thought of going to Caltex to get a can of beer...but in the end, felt that it wont really help much lor...lol...

Anw, felt that this is my battle and no one else can come and help me de...just have to face reality alone lor...so gotta believe in myself and juz keep on ploughing knowing that one day I will definitely get the grades lor...like wad LY says must be self-sufficient...lol...which is definitely true to a certain extent though I feel that somehow or other, everyone is dependent one one another for some help or stuff lor...everyone is linked to each other by some kind of bond de...anw sounds so philosophical...

" We just kept ploughing on the steep slopes of the mountains, carrying a very huge bag with our tents and items inside. It seems the journey will never end, it has already been 2 days and 1 night, the rain had came and passed and the Sun is up again...After another 2 hours of torturous hiking up the slope, though to me it seems like 4 hours, we came along a small fence which we climb over it and it leads us along a small path, on both sides there were purple and yellow flowers...but only a small portion unlike the vast and big trees some as tall as buildings earlier. The small path is actually a slightly steep slope which we can't see the end...one by one we disappear over the other side...soon its my turn. It was about 12 am that day, as I reached the end of the path and step onto the other side, the Sun blinded me for a few seconds...but once it faded, lo and behold, hills rolling after one another and it was filled with purple,yellow,grey and green flowers and grass...it seems that time as stop and all weariness just drain away from me. The guys were laughing and smiling upon the side...to me it was paradise on earth. Is the journey worth it? Yes it was... =)"

End of the week report...

End of the week report...

Whoa today is friday again...and another day has passed as we get nearer to the As...time running out and stress piling up...lol...this week has been rather topsy-turvy lor..coz of kenna commandos unit last wednesday, went for my second medical at the commados camp...sianz lor...coz thats the last vocation that I want to kenna...said not interested but I know that they wont give a shit about whether one cares or not or whether one passed NAPFA test or not...hopefully, they wont choose but if fate decrees, then man has to accept isn't it...ever since that day, has been feeling kinda down that what will happen if kenna commando?....why didnt I 'pretend' better?...all these kind of shit lor...

Yesterday, my grandma told me something that my mum didnt do...my grandma said..." dont worry, what will come will come...if kenna then accept it lor, just try to do ur best and survive"," Life has to be bitter sometimes, once after the bitterness, one will then be able to find the sweetness of life", she also said that" If that's ones life, then just live with it, most importantly is to try to take care of oneself and always be careful in whatever one do"

When she said that, I just felt very relaxed as if a great burden has been lifted, though I cannot say I have fully accept the situation but it has been very reassuring..and I am now more able to see things in another light , coz they most important thing now is my As...so gotta focus on the right thing now...

You know something? that day after medical, suppose to meet sam to study then after she said she got last minute tuition, so I told her then we meet on saturday bah. However, upon reaching home, though might as well give her a surprise and anw if I at home, sure distracted lor...so rushed home and shower then changed like siao. haha...hoping that she wont leave sengkang so fast...along the way also met Wei Jing...and we chatted for awhile. upon reaching Sengkang, I forgot where was starbucks lor...lol... then suddenly found it! To my surprise, it looks empty then I saw her...a small figure trying to mug and when she saw me she was stunned...lol...and she said that she tought she was dreaming...ahaha...very funny...She now also trying to steal my job lor...try to act cute nowadays( shaking head)...thats my trademark lor...under the law no.98....trademarks are............blah blah...haha

Recently, there has been much happenings in school like how the class wants to change physics teacher and everything lor...but that story will be told next time coz I gotta go tuition liao..so ciaoz....

ITS A CENTURY OF POSTS!!!

ITS A CENTURY OF POSTS!!!

Whoa...now its my 100th post!!! Whoo!! Open the champagne people!!!...LOL...so thats why this post is very special...haha and I going to talk about the Yong Sheng Basketball team...ahaha.

Last Sunday, I meet up with the rest of the guys for bball as usual at Ben Song's place...and also ben's bro. and his friend also came along...and the other guy is damn pro. lah...ok thats besides the point... Had a rather productive game lor...let me see...a couple of rebounds and some 60% of shooting from outside the paint...and not to mention a couple of assists...haha

After that, got some other people played with us 5b5...so we played full court lor...never like full court...so the team comprises....presenting as Centre...Eugene!!!!, As the Small Forward...Adrian!!!, as the other forward...Jonathan!!!, as the point guard..all the way from the North....its Wei Ren!!! as the cool shooting guard...Benjamin!!!....as the 6th man...Yuan Long!!!!( didnt came off the bench:P). So had a rather fun game lor, 3 baskets and 4 assists from me though only 2 rebounds...lol...but the other team damn rough lah...got a white t-shirt guy elbowed Ben. and juz walked away..WTF..and another one blames ren for a foul which he didnt do...idiots...but in the end we still thrashed them lor...erm..11 to 3 bah...if I never remember wrongly...lol...damn zai lah

So after the game, went for lunch and have a chat with the guys...realised that johnny have changed a lot..he seems more open now than in the past. Nowadays, he started poking people....ok its me so far but hey he never did that in the past...lol..but not bad lor...at least he is very approachable nowadays...or is it juz me that I never see the other side of him...hmm...