Today I don't really have a direction on what this blogpost to be. I have quite a few thoughts and notions in my mind currently. Let's list it down below.
1) Preconceived Notions
2) Direction of Life
3) Self Limiting Thoughts
4) Being Uptight
Yesterday, went to pick Cat up from a god damn far client office...45km , literally from Changi to Tuas...lol. So at the same time also gave a ride to her colleague also. He is a 28 year old Argentinian of Italian descent and he had studied in Italy and also worked in EY Luxembourg and now is residing in Sydney for the past 18 months.
My first thought is wow he is truly a global citizen as he has lived in 3 different continents( Europe, South America and Oceania). When I mentioned that I used to work at a Hedge Funds Administration firm and now right now is taking a break from working here in Sydney. I don't feel any sense of judgement of this route that I am choosing to follow. Unlike the feelings that I received whenever I mention it to my Singaporean friends. Like the first thing people will assume is that I should be studying or maybe doing a barista course here. Basically not wasting my time here and doing nothing.
I guess it is probably the society which we stayed in that somehow propagates these thoughts. Singapore unfortunately does not have any resources or materials so end of the day as a society we will need to continue to evolve and change and always be on our toes. In another way to put it, we always have to be on an edge, to be efficient and in a way to be uptight. I get that and I recognize that as well. I will not be able to have such a life when I am back in SG. Financially it doesn't work out as well so it will be back to work when I am back.
Of course, I am not saying that I should be just nua and do nothing for the rest of my days. But more of like I want to do what I want to do and not probably a side of my mind which is influenced by society for such a long time that is leading me.
There is a part of my psyche where everything I do or rather most things , I always always consider the consequences from it. For example, I spent my whole day just watching anime, then I next felt guilty and think what I should be doing and what will others think. Following which, I will play out the scenarios in my head and think of the possible reactions to the various scenarios. Crazy right? So imagine that in a day I will possibly have some or a few of such thoughts and it really takes a lot of my energy up.
Going forward, hopefully I will be able to steel more part of my mind to avoid going down that route and to learn how to let things go, forgive myself and just have an open mind.