Thank you for being there for me when I needed u again...I have always believed your words though for a while I didn't. Lets go thru life's journey and grow together, my dear friend=) Thank you for the 'encouragement'=D

I think I will let it pass for now...cuz u did the same a few months back...

Why must u do this to me??!!! Why doesn't it ever stop! It just keeps happening again and again...is it because of who I am, is it my character, is it the way I am...where on earth is wrong!! Edwin maybe u are right...maybe its me...I am prone to such incidents. Now I am truly stuck, I am torn between my feelings as well as my mind, I know what should be done, but I cannot bring myself to do it...there is this barrier, it seems so tall and towering and there seems no way around it

I thought all was well already, just being like this...u wont get hurt so much...and I am able to have more time to consider things. Why must u all of a sudden throw this problem up? Is it in u that because u have clear one stack of papers , it is now to clear the other stack which u have found at the bottom of the heap and realised that it is also an eyesore to your clean desk?

Now u have made us even further than before, why u want the past when it is already over, u should have known it will happened like this...I am no different sia...and I am not the old person I was...there is no way, absolutely no way I am going back there again...u have never been thru it..u dunno how horrible it is.

Now it seems that I have to go thru with u these heap of papers and that there are many sacrifices that have to be made or that have to be filed up...is this truly the clean desk that u want....if eventually it is, then we have made the right choices after all...if not, then...

Was just reading my archives because someone commented my archives to be damn long....and suddenly all the pain and..ok not the pain but feelings came back to me. The times when I feel so much about someone..is just seems so so long ago already, when I read back. I thot to myself whoa was it really that painful, that horrible, that heart-wrenching...Dawn to me that practically from the month dec 06 to sept 07 were entries all about her. So it was really that horrible.

Read also posts that pertaining to muddy, it sort of gave new insights about how I feel about her in the past and now. Somehow I can see the foolishness...ok maybe not foolishness but rather the underlying motive on why I always have the( must go after her) thot last time. And now I am beginning to see it and understand it liao....conclusion? maybe not so in to her liao lor...its a passing phase bah.

yesterday also chat with kel for so long...ok not my longest conversation but it was our longest lor...lol..a bit bu xi guan to tok to her for so long..but hey its long overdue lor. How can be gd frenz w/o those long convos. sia...lol...

Oks..Just realised that it has been some time since I last updated my blog...actually someone was saying about it=p....hor kel....lol...haha...only way..well...a few updates were that I got MY IPPT SILVER liao!!! hehe....thank u thank u.....this month got extra 100 lor...=P. And over last weekend, I flew to sabah in east malaysia to celebrate my uncle's wedding..and the food there was..woah...superb sia!....hmm..what else to say leh...army life still the same lor..kinda sianz but once tahan this month...haha...I can smell the O in ORD loh......

Oks...it has since been some time ever since I last blog...lol....well last week had been a rather hectic week with going to NTU open house, celebrating Kelly's birthday and meeting up with Zhenni to go and buy books. So didnt really have the time to blog about things lor...lol...yesterday went to NUS open house and ok lah...almost like last year when I went down...try to persuade pig to come down but apparently she is too lazy to drop by=P...ok ok maybe not...lol...eventually went home but decided to visit that place again, which I never been there for about 3 months or so...haha then was there evaluating my choices for NUS then Sam msg me and said wanted to find me. So awhile later she just..hmm...what was the right word?...bump into me??...trying to say that she is fat?...lol...ya then hang around with her lor...thru out the time with her, said that nowadays I am more emotionless...or smthg and it juz made me feel sucky...lol..dunno why...maybe should try another 'mental configuration' bah..haha...

Just now, emotions are stirred again...is like I had been putting a farce for a long time....

Well this week had been a crazy week for me, only 2 working days=P...heard a story regarding 2 of my platoon mates and their troubles, PASSED my DRIVING!!! and broke down. Oh..and did i mention I also watched finish Coffee Prince...lol....nice show man! Now my mind and heart is a more balanced state...oh and I am going to have another cousin soon le!!!! lol..so yap hopefully tis can continue for awhile and wont slumped back into those sianz mode again lor=)...that day, JS ask me a question like' How do u know u love someone?'..at that point...haha I dont really know how to answer...but after watching coffee prince, they also ask the same question..lol...and the answer is when one finds that he cannot imagine life without that person. Which I find it quite true lor..and stuff....ahaha juz some random thots as usual. Well now got driving licence le feels like taking the car out and go for a spin=P...haha...no no I am a newbie...muz control myself!!!! =P