Eventually, the thing that I used to sought after so much and hope for it, has sort of appeared before me. Of cuz now it might have just only be a passing window or an illusion, but it forced me to seriously consider my options about it.

Its actually kinda funny when the thing that u desired the most in the past, suddenly appeared and now u realised that its not really that important or desirable after all.

Hope is a double-edge sword my friend...it can either kill u or make ur dreams come true...

Well..Well..Its has been quite a while since I last blog right??.....lol...Well my final evaluation is finally over!!!(actually on 28th to 30th april=P) and now can count the days to ORD loh!!...haha...Just left mask test, shooting thts all but there is still some more standbys and duties that need to be done and the AHM..wah kao...si bei sianz.....

Last monday went to NUS for the SOC interview...lol...thought I was going to be late...in the end I was a little..lol...met a gal from TPJC whom arrived like 2 hrs earlier coz she was afraid of being late as she never come to NUS before...wad de...kinda funny...then also had to take some kind of logic test...anyhow do sia..lol..then the interview I just try to be confident and link stuff back to the economy and all...dunno whether sufficient but well hope so lor!!...

After that went to meet up with Pig, cuz she was nearby to collect my birthday present, and was kinda surprised...got a bit of kenna punked the gan jue....lol...she got me 2 boxers with wad..homer and a baby respectively...haha...then followed her to her exam place which was held at a hall..kinda weird. Recently heard that SIM held their exams at Singapore Expo.!!! Wah...nowadays exam places getting more exotic sia..lol..haha

this weekend kinda sianz...=( got duty on sunday then wont get to bk out till friday...haiz...saded...lol...wanna watch speed racer and indiana jones!! Tml still got this financial seminar tht I just signed up...better dun be another promotion event...if not i sure work out de...lol...from 9 to 3.30 sia....tiring sia!!!....no life!!! then my bro kept hogging the com. , means one thing...cannot chiong anime!!! ah....lol

Hitting the BIG 2!!!!

Just turned 20 sia...like 72 hours ago...OMG..old le...this year pai hang bang is Pig, Jie Sheng, Samantha, Zhenni, My sis, shane, Ben Loh, justin(amazing sia), Jolene, Ah Png. Haha...apparently Sam lost to Pig this year and of cuz must thank all those that wished before or through friendster like Soff. and charmaine...lol...Anw I spend my birthday in camp and waiting for activation lor in the end nothing happened because activated the next day instead. Pig and me spent like 2 hours sms-ing at times nonsensical stuff like super cows to..wad else ah?...grass...lol...till 12 midnight lor=P...Oh and must thank both kelly and ly again if not they say I never thank them...haha...

Also another surprise was because sam msg me all the way from UK sia!...haha...It was really great to received it from her lor, then I was just trying to msg back..haha it works as well but dunno whether must pay for any charges lor..this month already overshoot my phone bills liao=P

That day someone asked me why I sounded happy? and to her its kinda abnormal...lol...this just sets me thinking that "Am I always a Sad and Troubled person to u ??"...on hindsight, h,,..maybe lor because of last time and the whole process about it including the recent events.So however when for the 1st time, I felt lighter and free...as if certain chains have been broken, I might seem different to some. After spending a year in..eh...in a cave depressing and at times having false hopes as well as false emotions and all...well felt that now is the time to emerged and maybe to seriously contemplate about the future. It feels strange of me to like maybe taking the 1st step to studying about finance, to watch anime(s), to learn more on basketball, to go out with friends and doing fun stuff besides well..always sitting down and chat...of cuz I am not saying thats wrong or what but always do that..eh...kinda boring after awhile right?...lol..but of cuz sometimes its great lah...Anw it's this sort of things that I think its the change and I must have the courage to do certain things as well as try to remain myself lah...Oh...and maybe should try to be more calm, a bit the easily agitated recently..lol...Hopefully, can enter a local Uni. man...some frenz of mine already got accepted liao...and i havent...sianz sia=(

U have change as well maybe to become more independent. I will not lag behind=P

To kelly, thanks for the encouragement=)...and yeah we should pick ourselves up and move on...there is so much waiting for us in the future=D

PS: And eh....dun get ur last sentence...a bit the too dense for me=P...will ask u next time. Oh and thanks for ur 'present' advice=D

PLU....Waraku..Balls...Driving...Music....and Sticks...

There had been much going on recently...lol...haha most of it is my birthday celebration lor...last Sunday, the gals both ly and kelly treat me to waraku at Central there. Its actually a japanese and italian fusion...sounds cool rite??...haha...oh and kelly was late as usual sia. Made me and ly to wait for like...erm...an hour...hor kel...chat at starbucks for awhile. When she finally came, i just drank my green tea finish liao....and for a moment thought kel look kinda good...must be the hair...lol..shucks i praise her again...haha...everytime call me uncle so must call her oba-san!!!=P...then heard something about PLU...lol...and the organic white wine was great!!! haha...after that we just anyhow walk around and eventually drag them to PS to chiong arcade. We played the bball game and ly and me went all the way to 349 sia...highest all time score sia!!!...haha..later we also got play daytona and some music beats game and kel got to keep pressing the notes all by herself=P....haha and I just stood there laughing...then after that went to eat swensen..ice cream as usual..i think we should call ourselves the 'Ice-cream and drinking' gang pr ICD for short..lol...anw its great fun...though later at night must book in liao...

After that on monday, in order to celebrate the april babies bdae, everyone in the platoon gotta turn 20 times in a circle...haha i fell down after 7 turns...noob sia=P

It started very abruptly...I didn't know what to say...said something wrong about like can relax for awhile..so don't need to chiong or smthg in studies....she got angry..saying that should work harder since tests are coming...then find it hard to even hold a conversation properly. Went straight into the problem...starting off wasn't kinda bad...for about 15 min(s), it was mostly arguing and realised that both sides were confused and don't know what to do about it...voices were raised at some point of time. Somehow or rather, I managed to tell the past to her and what I was feeling at some points of time, said about why I did certain things and how come I was thinking in such a way. In the end, said that it was my fault for the drift in us and that I had misunderstood certain issues. Somehow in the end, the conversation ended on a lighter note but it also dawn to me that I am not that significant eventually so in a way...I thought too much again...lol...sucks sia...haha...

Dunno how all this will turn out in the future, there is a sense of haziness at the other end...like what I had said before, if there is fate between us..we will still be part of each other's life.

jaded...tired...its time to change and grow up=)

let it come in the future...