Mr Past

I have exactly maximum 30 minutes to spend dwelling here. Need to get back to my unemployment notes..not bad considering I am one under the natural unemployment group.

Just read jianyang's note on satisfaction, actually the basis was based about a topic that I had with him last friday. Although it had expanded into something pretty far from what we had discuss about. However its along the same line.

I won't be discussing about the note here, it wasn't what I wanted to blog about. Its just a catalyst for me to start blogging for some reason. Initially, I wanted to blog about dreams..and stuff..I realised that I had a few entries on those le. There's a reason for the google search button on my blog lo=P.

So..lets talk about the past. I think I had a post about past or something...hopefully it wont be the same thing that  I will be discussing about...lolz...Anyways, in recent times, somehow the past had caught up with me. Reaching out with his skeletal hands, grabbing my shirt as I tried to move forward. Sometimes, we as humans, we have this in built thing in our system which make us remember certain things so that in the future, we would react accordingly to a similar event. Of course, its not a necessary a BAD thing, it enables us to make the correct decisions in the future. HOWEVER, like everything in life, it is a double-edged sword.

There had been a couple of quotes about the past that I had seen. Most commonly, its about not letting the past hold you back and that looking forward is the way to go in life. I propose a better way of seeing it. To Accept the Past as an Equal.

Why? because even if we keep looking forward, no matter how much we avoid certain incidents to happen, the probability is still there. The probability that the old past will catch up with you, the past as never ever left us, it's like a shadow forever behind us, but we cannot see it..some may even forgotten about it. One day,he will show himself yet again. But, if we learnt to accept it, to accept that the past had happened and it will always be with us in one way or another, I feel that come what may in the future, we can handle things better and that we can proudly hold our heads high and face Future with a confident face.

I am also in the process of accepting my past as my equal, it doesn't mean I got to suppress him as a subordinate. But I have to ready myself for the occasion fights that I would have with him. Its all part of the process of accepting each other. I think I acknowledge certain anchors that Mr. Past had embedded in me, and now I think I can identify some of them and that its time for me to pull these anchors out. Of course, not all these "bad" anchors can be pull out immediately, but I will try. For myself and for the people around me and for Mr Past himself.=)

Left 2 minutes le...back to unemployment...and for those who are fortunate to read this entry, Have you accept your past yet?=)

Had a great supper ytd...lol...samuel was his usual self...totally crappy...I seriously think its in his blood or smthg=.=....ate too much cockles I think...haha...and of course the ever popular favourite 1 pint of sugar cane!!!...one of the best things on earth, right up there with ice cream( too bad samuel cant eat it=P)...haha

Told everything that was trapped within me to Pig ytd...I felt much better...its more of a I need someone to listen to me thingy...tried to squeeze everything within a period of time cuz apparently another friend of hers also having some issues...lolz...someone is becoming a counselor liao...haha

To Pig: thanks for everything ya...thanks for having the time to listen to me.=) Really appreciate it.

mother: Eugene, you still want to go australia for holiday? you got enough money meh?


Me: shouldn't be too ex. bah...its a free and easy.


mother: You going to be 23 le, you got to have at least 10K. When 25th, should have 30K. Dont keep spending.

I did a mental count of my finances. Basically.....I'M SCREWED!!!!

Time for drastic measures liao...LOL...kind souls, do donate money to me...I appreciate it deep deep..=X

Not going japan le=(

Ahh....I want to go japan...LOL...hopefully jerrold will be able to get his immersion and the oil prices dont sky rocket!!!!

At 1 am.

At 1am, the streets were cleared with the occasion taxis, the clean air seeks to calm the otherwise disturbed soul.

At 1am, a short breeze of cold air slaps across the face as if reality is telling you to wake up, and carry on.

At 1am, the cold metal bars of the balcony reminded me of the past and how cold it actually is.

At 1am, looking at 2 idiotic skate-boarders made me want to hide from the public view, to show a certain image. ( or it might be to avoid a 2nd downtown east attack..O.0)

At 1am, as I felt the wind, I thought of the world that is still turning, time waits for no one...I know that I cannot wallow in dejection.

At 1am, looking out at the scene before me, I thought of you, how I wish you will be here and sort me out. I know that you most probably had felt something was wrong, I can never hide from you.

After 1am, taking a deep breath of the clean air, the disturbed soul was calm and the soul said a phrase that no one will hear " thats that". And with a form of nonchalance, closes the door.

ADAM COUPLE 4EVER!!

As predicted, I am really damn emo over the end-ing of the Adam Couple on WGM(We Got Married), a korean reality show. Although, its supposed to be a fake marriage between Jo-Kwon and Ga-In, both who are great singers in their own right, but seriously they are really damn pei with each other. It is the only couple in the 2 seasons of WGM( that I watch sparingly), that really made me go "aww","is it real?" and seriously want them to date in real life. I mean there are some portions that can be acted out, but a majority of the actions that they did, well...I can't see it as fake. If there ain't feelings for each other, they wouldn't have lasted a year plus and their progress was really nice. From a dongseng relationship towards a lovers relationship. Initially, one can see that they are really awkward with each other, but after a year, they gotten to be real close. Like what my friend said: " They are perfect because of their imperfections"

I think this show will go down forever in my memory because it not only brought me lots of laughter, of course, from Jo Kwon...but also all the emotions that are tied to their relationship as they get to know each other better. Actually this show also thought me a bit more about girls..haha...cuz of the way the MCs commented and stuff like that...and made me realised that actually I lacked a lot of sense sometimes...maybe I am usually very conscious about myself and my actions that I always looked at myself a lot of times and not so much at the other person. Ah..진짜( really)...I think gotten really emotional here..lol. Somehow I think both of them enjoyed filming, maybe its a good break from the other projects that they have.

Needless to say, I am a big fan of these 2 eventually, like their songs and all. Besides the fact that the way they expressed themselves with such sincerity and honesty, maybe there are some parts of me that was struck? maybe thats why it enable me to truly appreciate it. If all this is just acting, then I can say that their acting as definitely hit the highest level le, like the actors frm Autumn in My Heart.

I think I will always remember a few events. Like the HK trip where he piggy back ga-in, the bali photoshoot, JK's birthday present, their last christmas together and the final event. Ah seriously...it was suppose to be a comedy, now it evolved into a sentimental thing...lol...Cuz I mainly just want to watch JK excessive funny but I never expected them to be so involved in the show that I was slowly drawn into it. Come on, I am not the only one can...the whole nation was also drawn into it..lol.....every variety show they went, every MCs asked the same thing: " Are you two dating in real life?"

Well, it has been a great time watching and listening to them, truly daebak!!... here is a FMV with their 1st duet song together..Adam Hwaiting!! Its also time for me to move on liao...exams here I come...