E.T.A

Yesterday had a great day out with sam. It has been ages since we last went out together. Went to eat ATAS breakfast at "wild honey" which is somewhere at mandarin gallery, got to wait for places somemore and its like what..30 minutes, almost wanted to go to cedele le...haha...until they call us to let us know that our table was ready. For the pic, do refer to my fb as usual=X lazy to post here. Went around gai gai and talk a lot of stuffs, especially the portion of she is feeling old....lolz...truly living up to her reputation as an auntie finally...haha.

Brought her to see the pinnacle@ duxton HDBs, but she was more interested in tanjong pager estates rather than the HDB....haha...of course i was ecstatic about finally going all the up to 51st floor sky bridge. LIKE FINALLY. always wanted to do it ever since it opened but never had a chance to do so until yesterday. Achievement checked for the year...haha...happy that she also enjoyed the view and all...was a bit afraid she might find it too normal and waste of money...but...all the way there and not go up?...haha...

The place was really windy and all, so its really cool and imagine jogging up 51st storey high...coolz max...am sure that it is bloody expensive, went to recce the price but can't find...what i saw on some sites is around 700k? but i am sure its worth more considering a penthouse flat in bishan fetch 900k recently this year.

We did have some H2H talk of course, cuz its like ages since we were enough to spend some time together, considering the tight schedule of her life. Somehow we chatted until the part where we touch a little about the uniqueness of our friendship. To her, I am like a vacation from her own life. And to me, she is...hmm..i never really thought of it...haha...its just reassuring for her to be there bah...haha

Prodigy

Was watching sungha jung videos...really like this guy. Seriously god-like, his guitar playing skills are like on the other level from normal people sia. I was just thinking that a lot of prodigies actually very young when they were first discovered. Well, you don't see someone telling a 70 year old man that he is a genius. Maybe its the notion of them being young and that they haven't seen much of the world. yet they are able to perform extraordinary stuff that supposedly the adults should be able to do. Then I was wondering how many of these child prodigies able to continue to perform well into adult age? Well not many I think. and one of such person is Albert Einstein.

Maybe like what some books had said and that as one grows older, we tends to believe in that the world is not limitless and that there is a limit to everything we do. Soon, it became so integral in our life that we just assume it as it is. So it applies to these prodigies as well, maybe some due to the period of growing up, may lose the skills they had because they are influenced by societies in some ways.  Maybe they got conceited. Maybe they lose their true selves during the phenomenal rise to stardom.

I remember a post I posted last year, its based on the movie Nodame Cantabile. Its about something as seeing music as a limitless universe. There are a few perspectives of looking at things, and needless to say, there are quite a few to this as well. Sometimes when we feel like the world is closing on us, if we think of how small we are in the universe, well there is sometimes a calming effect on us, don't you think? I think some psychiatrist will term it as " thinking from a 3rd person view". Another way is that the universe is limitless so there are always possibilities of things that can happen even though it seems impossible.

Actually I think I could have elaborated more, but Taeyeon voice and video cause me to sidetracked le...can't concentrate...sorry sia...its the trap that all guys falls into...our common Achilles Heel=P

Its always good to have a friend to calm oneself down and remind oneself what is important and to see through the fogs of life.=)

Looking into the Crystal Ball

Recently went for a fengshui session with my parents and sis. Then the hot topic was literally about me not getting a girlfriend=.=....because apparently for the next 2 years I won't be with anyone then got this one year where got chance then the next 5 years no one again...then the most optimistic view is that i may get married at 32...so in some sense I think its rather bleak hur. Apparently there was someone in 2009, but for some reason I missed her. I can only think of lisian cuz well I was after her that time, but well it wasn't meant to be. If she is not the one, then it might be the other girl who seemingly sticks to me for some time, but I wasn't really interested in her. But in any case, it was all in the past.

Another pointer that she pointed out was that I am very stubborn and inflexible which I agree to some extent. Said that I should be more open to match-making and such stuffs...but I still think its not really for me, call me stubborn or whatsoever. In any case, I know that to improve, I should be more flexible in the future, regardless of career or relationship.

To say that I am not affected is nonsense. I don't really know why. But I was rather devastated by it. Its like I always feel that we have some control over our life, but somehow the revelation that its been somewhat predestined, its pretty scary to me. I don't really know what happened to me that night, but I was really really down... its just like a waterfall of saddening emotions just overwhelms me. I wonder is it my somewhat "persistance" to stick with muddy, though somewhat lessen but there is still some drops left in the cup. I then wonder what my life would be, will it be actually like somewhat predicted? Ever since the last session with her, I told myself that I should changed the picture that was shown to me, but, it happened and I couldn't stop it.  I was told that its possible to change, but it would take a huge effort from my part. Then I started wondering whether the effort to change is all but actually a part of the journey to the predicted picture. I sort of gave up thinking after awhile....then I somehow sort of like drifted away from the thinking, listening to sounds of tv, the crickets and the chatter of families around the neighborhood. I sort of awaken after a loud sound of someone drop a pan or smthg. I never really talk to anyone regarding this, maybe because even I can't pinpoint where the problem was and I don't think this is justified enough in wasting others' time, though at the point of time, I was hoping to have someone. But, must put a word of thanks to lei for sms-pei-ing me the next day, we didn't talk about the problem but it sort of made me feel better.

I want to change, yet I am afraid of what would happen if I changed, what will be forced to give up? Then, what if the change is not what it seems to be? What if it all happened again? I don't really know. People tells me that I should not be stubborn and inflexible but am I really that stubborn to begin with? Do I always tell myself that it should be this way and only this way? I think so...definitely, maybe its not those straightforward cases but more of the subtle kind which I am beginning to take note and can see some inflexibility in them. I learnt that when one grows up, we should have somewhat a fixed principled base in all of us, just like in Confucius. Maybe its the core that we should keep as fixed, because I feel that what determines a person is by his principles. Any others is variable.

Going forward, I don't actually know what I should do, where I should go next. Maybe I should just take small steps and not plan for the endings anymore. As for relationships, I don't know, the way she said was like "it's now or never" kind, really sianz sia....but I still stand by the fact that if I really cannot see myself with someone, I will not get along with that person cuz it won't do any of us any good. I feel maybe I should just keep on going with life but at the same time, try to make the small adjustments of being flexible and trying to take each step at a time bah.