Changes. Adulting

I remember that previously I did have an entry on leadership. So yesterday, I was telling Cat about the Saturday event at Yan Cong place and I guess she was a bit stressed like about the wedding and what are the plans and schedule like. She was afraid of people asking her and she felt that it’s too stressful because I guess it’s like she feel that they judge her to a certain extent? Especially the ladies. My initial emotion was that of why she makes it sounds like so stressful and just be transparent about it. After which she was stressed by the bridesmaids request about the dresses and so she was going on about why she don’t like weddings and all. Technically, I don’t mind not having a wedding either but I concur with Wei Ren that wedding end of the day is like a form of respect to both families especially the elders. To not take them into account to me it’s kind of selfish as the younger generation. Of course, not to the extent that is life-threatening or financial-crippling kind of damage to us.

It kind of set the tone that in the future, with kids or not, I have to step up and make some calls and decisions in what I would term as day to day decisions. In the past or even now, staying at home with parents, it is very easy to overlook and take for granted certain things in life now. Like house work, house maintenance, ensuring that your spouse is happy and healthy, how to allocate enough time for extended families. Also, one has to take responsibility for your spouse reactions and actions. In the future, whatever decision was made on the kid will have a long lasting impact either on the kids’ lives or even on me and my spouse life.

Coupled with all of that, you yourself are still growing and learning as you age. Trying to figure out the future and how you want to live your life. Managing and balancing different parties and to get every parties involved to be on the same page, it’s definitely tough. It’s like how does one manage the executive committee at a company with the likes of the CEO, CIO, CFO and etc.

Career has definitely been put on a foothold currently while I am going thru this wedding and house renovation process. Also, bringing 2 different lifestyles and finances together, is going to take some time and clashes. It also feels like I have to take care of the wedding as well and need to plan on things and also to coordinate the various groups of people. It does seems and feel overwhelming but I know that Cat don’t exactly like these things and we could probably get a wedding stylist or someone to help. However, I don’t think it’s worth the money though.

I definitely need to find more time to do such things and at the same time balance the future dreams of mine as well. Slowly I need to change the way I do things and the time, effort, content and thoughts that I invest in myself. It's a brand new world.

The Frailties of the Human Society

As the news of Hong Kong persistent demise into anarchy, it just shows how easily humans can slip into chaos and lawless-ness. This is a good example how easily a society which has long pride themselves on safety and order can so easily slide into weekly affairs of violence and chaos. Here in Singapore, we also have to be mindful of such a possibility and not take whatever peace we have in here for granted. Civic protests are all good and all but once violence have taken a hold and proven effective. Riots and chaos will start to reign. What had started with good meanings has given way to something more violent and incomprehensible. Truly the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

From the looks of it, the government in Hong Kong has lost all power and control in the city. It is natural for the Mainland to assimilate more of Hong Kong back into China, by removing barriers; it causes an open market to sky rocket and is out of reach of middle and low income groups of society. It made housing even more unattainable for the locals; it robs these groups of society of hope and dreams. I believe that this is a classic case of how government’s decision to open up markets can lead to such catastrophes. Basic needs of any society should only be a public good and not treated as a private good. Open market forces have always shown that the invisible hands of the market can bring great returns for the players but yet also a great loss for them as well. In this case, the welfare loss to society is huge and the rich gains the most from this.

Basic needs are like commitments. Commitments are never meant to be taken with a huge amount of risk. One does not simply use their parent’s retirement funds to gamble. It is the same as in this case. Yes. With an open market, in order to provide the best possible housing as it is profit driven, developers will always strive to do better. However, without control, any good which is limited as land in this case, will only result in the majority of society having less access and the welfare loss growing ever so big.

When basic needs are not met, society tends to be unmotivated, a lack of purpose which will eventually leads to a hopeless future. Similarly to an animal driven to a corner with nowhere else to go, what will it do? Even the most docile animal will retaliate and force it way out. Either one tries and survives or it dies. Survival instincts kick in.

Humans are no exception to the rule. Regardless of whatever morals or values that one holds, when faced with a survival situation, there will be many who will throw such concepts out of the window so to ensure their survival. Granted that there are some who will uphold their principles to the very end but how many are able to do that? Will it be the majority that will still uphold their principles? It is possible but it is never a definite.

Did both the HK and Mainland government thought about these when the barriers are lifted? Even without the barriers being lifted, the issue with an open property market is still there and eventually it will still blow up.

Did the authorities try to rectify the problem by improving public housing? Apparently, under pressure from the private sector, the authorities decided to just ignore the problem and resulted in this ticking time bomb.

If ever one day, Singapore has also chosen to go down a similar path with basic needs being privatized and being risked, we too would also fail as society will thins and eventually break. Whatever talk about democracy or freedom of speech or equality will be thrown out of the window and only in favor of whom can provide us the access to basic needs. It has been proven in history as how Hitler came into power and history tends to repeat themselves in some way or another. If ever that day should come, I will not hesitate to look for alternative places as a backup to secure a future for my family.

What is left for the locals in HK now? Regardless whether they can accept it or not, HK will always be part of China. There is no way for the locals to refute or change that fact. If anything, the authorities will have to hold their hands up and admit their mistakes and start to listen and care more for the greater parts of society. And for the mainland government to truly win the hearts and minds of the HK locals, they will do well with starting to solve the lack of basic needs(which is the bulk of the feelings of protestors) and not see these protests as a rejection of their authority.

On Leadership

Leadership. I have always thought that leadership skills are only for 1) People who want to be leaders. 2)
People who are leaders. 3) People who are in management or leadership position. In recent times,
somehow a thought came through my mind ever since I had been listening to motivational
speeches/podcasts.

Take charge of my life.

Ever since both cat and me have announced that we are getting married end of the year and have
embark on the numerous things an engaged couple should do, it has been a whirlwind and decisions
have to be made consistently. In a way, it does take the romance out of the relationship as we need to
decide and budget and all the logical stuffs while thinking of the wedding and preparations.

Ever since the turn of the year, I have been just going with the currents if I were to put it metaphorically.
It’s draining definitely. Then gout happens, colleagues are leaving BNP, economy doesn’t seem to be
well. Such incidents are like rocks you bump into and rolled by while the current brings you downstream.

So why leadership?

A leader is someone that takes charge and be responsible for his team or own actions. Someone who
provides the direction of the ship. The Capitan. The Head Honcho. 2 words stand out here. Takes Charge
and Be Responsible. I think why now leadership is also because due to the many decisions that I had to
make this year and I am responsible for cat’s life decisions too. So I have to lead Cat now unlike in the
past where I can be selfish and avoid or divert these decisions away from myself.

I believe I have all along been someone who is adverse to making and committing to decisions. Well, to
put it harshly, I am always looking for excuses to not make decisions. Especially hard ones. I will just
plain avoid and then let others decide instead. But it became to dawn to me that if its decisions related
to cat and me. No one else will be able to decide for us, and also some decisions may not be aligned
with our interests as well. So to put it bluntly, the reason probably why I had bouts and blogposts over
these 2 years were down to excuses and a lack of leadership on my part.

Courage is part of leadership.

One of the things that I consistently berate myself for is the lack of courage. I am ham chi. Cat and I
kinda know that part already. In some ways, courage is a part of leadership. Courage to take on the
responsibility. Courage to make the call at that given point of time.

Conclusion is that I now have to be improve on my leadership. Change my mindset and work towards to
be a good leader. For cat and for my life. Think in terms of a leader and how to maximize my potential.