Being an Over-Thinker

Ever since I have taken notice of my own thoughts and the decisions I made since I was 12, I have been a notoriously over-thinker throughout my life. There had been some people who feedback that I tend to overthink a lot of things until it's kinda excessive and there are some people who will say that I am meticulous as I consider a lot of situations and are ready for them. 

I believe that by covering all ground then whatever is thrown up, I will be more than able to handle it as there is a plan for it. Of course, as I grew older then I realize that no one can plan for all situations especially when it comes to dealing with humans at large. So, my favourite way is to take a leaf out of a financial theory which I learnt in University. The Arbitrage Factor Model Theory, where one can allocate a specific risk factor to various situations and leave the rest to be a Epsilon which encompasses the risk that we can't quantify. This help me to focus only on the risks that I can control and leave the rest to fate. Though having said that, I tend to have more than a few situations that play out in my head and so I try to cover and run through various situations. So, yeah over-think. 

Recently, I came to realise that some of my Overthink had been due to issues with Anxiety which stems from me being a HSP. From Young I had always thought that by being able to predict all forms of potential situations will allow me to make the best decision forward, but maybe it's not always the case.

I noted that whenever I made the best decisions ( in hindsight mind you) , are usually when I don't cover all scenarios. I mean I do still think about possible outcomes but I won't go and dwell and try ways to counter every one of them. And, it's usually when I am calm and just serene. You know, it's like when you are comfortable with it. I don't like it when people rush me into making a call or it's due to any other form of pressure. Though I know time is of an essence and I may be over thinking that's why I take so long to decide, so maybe I also need to find a solution to this. 

Whenever I tried to think and cover all grounds, my heart rate races and I became very focus on finding solutions for all the possible outcomes and will just keep going on until I am tired or that I am satisfied that I have done my best already. Even so, I will still have a nagging feel about it and will not be truly rid of the feeling until the scenario have passed. 

Feels like it all boils down to one word. Anxiety.