Today at the end of the day at work, I was sent into a deep spiral of despair. There had been this PE fund that the client is very unreasonable and uptight which kinda make me have some kind of PTSD. I mean I only handle like a few items but the client is really uptight about so many things and regardless of what we tell them, it just never seems enough.
To me, this fund just trigger a very deep negative emotion to it. So today after office hours the FA tries to get me to work on their request even though its not my fund, I just panic because Hannah whom is the fund owner had already left home. I tried to push back but the FA insist that we should be looking at it. Then it just trigger a whole of negative emotions...I was just cursing all the way. In the end, I had to ask my VP to step in because I don't think this report can be out by the same day.
A lot of the negative emotions come in, like why do people not understand that other parties have issues and will take time to settle. How come one push until like that ? Why do people keep pushing others without a thought? Does it mean that only if something bad happen then you say sorry ? I don't get it at all. I think that's the thing that throughout so long I feel that a lot of times I cannot understand why people just keep pushing people. Why people cannot see each other as part of a greater thing ? If every party plays their part, things will be so much better...if people can emphasize, I am sure productivity will improve as well...albeit at a slower pace but still progressing nonetheless.
I guess to me, I am more in the camp of growth slower but productivity increases. When people feel more engaged and valuable, then will they be inclined to produce better results.
Maybe I just treat work too personal...or maybe its I just dislike the fact that people imposes their will on you and be unreasonable that just trigger all these emotions in me.
Maybe truly I am not suited for client servicing. I think after so long, the thing that still irks me the most is people who don't consider the other parties lives and just impose their wills on to them. Unfortunately, that's how things work here in Asian societies.
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