Some days...

Some days I think back and wish that how nice is life is still like the past, where everything seems to be much simpler. Where time is of abundance, and we were all happy and enjoy life that tomorrow will ever come. Even if it did, it will still be the same as the day before. Oh the simplicity of life. Unfortunately, the world of survival have no place for such a world. Slow down and people starts to say that you are being childish and idealistic or naive as well. Waste time away and people say that you should treasure time. Of course, one's problems also increased with survival being a key notion. In other words, wealth is important. Without wealth, you really cannot survive, because no one on this planet is going to trade with you or exchange with you anything without wealth. 

Some days I think back about the fengshui predictions about my life for the next decade 2 years back. I think back about what was said, and now its already 2 years. I am very afraid to lose this chance because it seems that this is my only chance before another 7 years. Its scary to know the future, and its scary to know that right now it seems to be happening and you know that its a do or die situation. Due to this, it causes me to think irrationally, trying very hard to grab every opportunity or signs that were shown, so afraid that I may screw up and everything.

Some days I think to myself to be a more confident being. To be strong and steady in spite of the various shakes and quakes in my life. The times where I am not afraid of much and that everything will work out themselves. The ability to decide what is right now. The present. Able to set plans in motions for the goals that I want to achieve.

Some days I start to question myself about the things I do become the super insecure being that only a few known and have seen. The being where everything seems to be in a bad light, and that life just sucks and that what have I done in my previous life to have deserve this. Why is my destiny or life like that? Is it an innate thing? Or is it something that is pre-determined?

Some days I will feel that everything is at peace and that life is good and will have the confidence that everything will turn out fine/bad.  It doesn't affect me. I am perfectly comfortable with myself being alone and my thoughts are happy and contented.

Norwegian Wood

Been some time since I last had a book review for a book already, haha. This book I initially thought will be a pretty dark and pervasive story. Well in a way its kinda pervasive, with a 20 year old guy having sex with a 40 year old. The storyline was set in the 1970s era in tokyo, so they were also having the same  hippie revolution that the US at that point of time had. Peace, Make Love not War, Revolutions, etc etc. There is a lot of sex in this book probably due to the revolution then, where sex is free for all. Not that I mind..haha..the author put it in a rather blunt manner and at times really straight forward manner. lol...but putting that aside, the story is basically boy likes a girl who is his dead best friend's gf. who suffers from depression due to her traumatic past and the death of her bf. As they grow up, the boy met another girl who love him but he is still attached to the depressed girl.

I have to say the character development of each different individuals was quite good. I mean you can really identify yourself with such characters, the ever serious lead, the arrogant friend, the depressed girl, the reckless new girl and a mature woman trying to let go of her past.

It sounds like a pretty emo  book but well generally its about a love story in some sense, and maybe the exploration of humans deep and dark emotions.

Random Bits

Let me see...it has already been exactly 14 days since I last ended my exams. Quite a lot of stuffs had happened within this 2 weeks it seems. I got into a minor car accident, gotten a little closer to adeline only for me to screw it up over the weekend, finally book my tickets to seoul on the 19th july( dun worry sam, will still wish u with photos =P) and I think most importantly, that I am seriously going to shift house in a year and a half time. This time, its no fluke. My dad already paid the down payment and signed the mortgage loan agreements already, so I can say 70% shifting unless something dramatic happens. So, yeap life had been quite some ups and downs for me. These 14 days that is. And one more thing, How could I forget?? Finally gotten my S3..haha..thats a huge plus point for me..heehee

Oh and just a heads up, I will be upgrading in prestige of being able to stay in a condo in sengkang but will be downgrading in the size of the apartment, bloody small. But, actually the location ain't that bad cuz its just right at the edge of punggol park and sengkang, so its still near to serangoon lo. If got car, damn fast and accessible. If not.....prepare to travel and wait abit. =.= . And the condo is called Austville. So you peeps can check it out if you are interested.


Because of the above mentioned events as well as the Gaming Time that I spent on Football Manager. Well it didn't quite provide or give me the time to sit down and actually well...have a HTHT with myself. Oks, I think you can guess where this is heading to already. Recently been slowly getting back into the reading arena, been picking books from tolkien and murakami. And the game of thrones series as well. Seriously, I think gaming really hold no significant utility value for me. I might be absorbed in a game for a period of time, but once the novelty dies down and it became more of a process, I will just chug it one side. I like reading better, usually once I read and if the books are really delightful, I will truly enjoy it and write a  review about it.

This is a random paragraph here. as I am trying to think about the past and you know evaluate all my life as a student etc, I don't really have a particular need to blog about that. Maybe its most probably due to my excessive evaluations in the past? Or it could just be that I feel there is no more need for me to do that anymore. I am more interested in the future now. 24 years old and growing.

I think outside school, society is a totally different game altogether. Different rules and the various motives of people also increased. The feeling of needing to get income to sustain a particular level of consumption in life. Of course, the need for a partner is still there. Though I guess it doesn't really have much of an impact on me as compared to the past. Or maybe its just today where those feelings are being override by the stronger emotion of survival?..who knows?

I noticed that CFA singapore finally launched the dec intake schedule and I am considering whether I should really take 4000 of my parents money and study for the course. Or should I wait till i am in a financial institution and get them to pay for me instead? Like a friend who told me if you are not so sure, then why take up the course? However, after helping my dad looking at interest rates and reading graphs and explaining certain terms to him and all...I felt a fire or smthg in my heart and I realise that actually I kinda like finance. Obviously, I never like those complicated formulas and stuff but the theoretical and the analytical aspects of finance.

People says that finance is your ticket to riches, well in a way, they are not wrong. I always thought of working for the portfolio or investment arm of banks and then make truckloads of money...and that I will be able to stay in CBD area, with a reasonable luxury car( no, it aint a ferrari...that brand tarnished already). Somehow, nowadays, everytime I try to spur myself with those dreams, it just kinda doesn't work for me already. Rather I think as long as I will be busy and doing something meaningful in the future and have a decent lifestyle, I think thats kinda enough I guess.

Dafuq did I just did???

Did the most embarrassing and stupid thing in my life, can't believe I actually said such stuffs. Si bei malu ttm . Wonder now how all it will turn out. Like what ben said, its like an exam, since its done its done. No point thinking about it. Tml, I will still wake up, still breathe the oxygen from the air. Life will still have to go on. I am sure that I won't give up, I feel that this is not the end, and I don't want it to end on this note as well. What I can do now, its just to sleep, wake up and do even better if I am given the opportunity again. If not, den I will try to create that opportunity again, I have no one to blame or to be emo about. If even that fails, then its back to living life again. Life don't stop due to an incident, and I had already stopped my life once, I will not stop it ever again.