Some days I think back and wish that how nice is life is still like the past, where everything seems to be much simpler. Where time is of abundance, and we were all happy and enjoy life that tomorrow will ever come. Even if it did, it will still be the same as the day before. Oh the simplicity of life. Unfortunately, the world of survival have no place for such a world. Slow down and people starts to say that you are being childish and idealistic or naive as well. Waste time away and people say that you should treasure time. Of course, one's problems also increased with survival being a key notion. In other words, wealth is important. Without wealth, you really cannot survive, because no one on this planet is going to trade with you or exchange with you anything without wealth.
Some days I think back about the fengshui predictions about my life for the next decade 2 years back. I think back about what was said, and now its already 2 years. I am very afraid to lose this chance because it seems that this is my only chance before another 7 years. Its scary to know the future, and its scary to know that right now it seems to be happening and you know that its a do or die situation. Due to this, it causes me to think irrationally, trying very hard to grab every opportunity or signs that were shown, so afraid that I may screw up and everything.
Some days I think to myself to be a more confident being. To be strong and steady in spite of the various shakes and quakes in my life. The times where I am not afraid of much and that everything will work out themselves. The ability to decide what is right now. The present. Able to set plans in motions for the goals that I want to achieve.
Some days I start to question myself about the things I do become the super insecure being that only a few known and have seen. The being where everything seems to be in a bad light, and that life just sucks and that what have I done in my previous life to have deserve this. Why is my destiny or life like that? Is it an innate thing? Or is it something that is pre-determined?
Some days I will feel that everything is at peace and that life is good and will have the confidence that everything will turn out fine/bad. It doesn't affect me. I am perfectly comfortable with myself being alone and my thoughts are happy and contented.
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