Maboroshi

 

Just completed this anime during my daily lunch time of the day, and it was a visually captivating anime and the climax was pretty good. The storyline kept switching from one plot to another plot so the author could have probably done with some good consistency. Although there are various plot changes and all, there are some very good quotes and plots that does hit close to my heart. 

Story was that the main characters are like phantoms that lived in an alternate universe where time stops for them until they met a young girl who turns out to be their daughter from an actual reality. In their reality, they are not supposed to feel any strong emotions, be it good or bad, as long as it is constant then their world will carry on. Otherwise, they will be swallowed by the smoke(that resembles Wolfs). Ending was that the main characters managed to send their daughter back to the actual reality and in their reality , time starts to move again. In the actual reality future, the town was no longer inhabited by people and that it is more or less forgotten since the steel factory accident and slowly the residents left the place. 

1) As time and changes go hand in hand, emotions which are tied to changes will also be a constant

The protagonist grandfather mentioned that probably the gods created that alternate reality because it was the time when before the accident, the town was the most lively but once the accident happened, people had moved out and decide to move on. The gods of the mountain that produce the steel wanted to keep the memories of the place hence the main characters are stuck at the particular point of time. However, the main characters started to notice that they are not real and feels like their lives are stuck. Whoever felt deep motions like sadness or happiness will be removed from the alternate reality. But in actual fact, such a reality where everything is constant, is it really a life worth living ? A place where one don't make any mistakes, doesn't change the status quo, doesn't get hurt or don't feel love, can it happened? It can only happen when time stops but in reality, this will never be the case. Time never stops, so change is always happening and emotions, be it good or bad will continue to happen. 

My thoughts--->The above kinda really hit me because I kinda realise that I am someone that fear making mistakes, being on the wrong side of people, fear of being thought of in a negative light or people's judgement so I get stressed out when things are different or when people don't agree with me. So I would rather just conform to their whims and thoughts. Also I would always try to be stress out of making any mistakes , be it wrong email or wrong booking or anything, and if I make the mistake, I beat myself up badly for it. All in all, because of me rejecting confrontations, rejecting getting hurt or feeling negative emotions, I ended up stuck in time figuratively. I always tell cat that I don't feel 36 but rather more like 30ish...I wonder if I had allowed myself to stop living in 2019. 

Recently I had to look for Movers because the landlord decided to not renew our lease, so was reading online on the various companies. There were some bad ones and there were some good but expensive ones. I knew that Cat wanted to get the cheapest or most value one but somehow it seems difficult to find cheap but reliable. I was afraid that she will be not happy if I chose the wrong one or was afraid that I made a mistake and ended up being hit with more charges. In the end, like in the anime, in my mind, I just felt kinda stuck. Eventually we settled on one mover but my mind was still not at ease. Well, Until I watch this anime though.

So it kinda hit me when I realise that I should allow myself to make mistakes. To feel bad because these emotions are part and parcel of time. Time never stops and one will never be able to avoid feeling bad ever. If I made a mistake, it is just for me to learn and then not make it again. Whatever people think of me, even if its dear, I should let it go and not be sad that I had let her down. Even if she might be disappointed in me for that instant, I should learn from it and just keep moving forward. To have confidence that whatever happens, it will be alright. 

2) Meaning of to be alive

Throughout the show, the main characters all mentioned that they felt life was always the same because they don't feel pain nor happiness just being constant stoic feelings. The weather never moves, time never moves. That they never felt like they were alive. Like the machine in the factory, just keep churning on. 

My thoughts--->Like in the anime,to be alive is to allow yourself to go through those bad emotions in your life. With me berating myself or rather stopping myself from making any mistakes, from avoiding confrontations to making decisions, I cease to live, to be alive. Feeling the pain to feeling tightness across the chest, to love, to cry, to smile, to be angry, to be depressed ..all of these are signs that you are still alive. Maybe that's why people who do extreme sports like rock climbing or bungee jumping or sky diving mention that is the time that they felt alive. the tightness of the chest due to fear, the tingling sensation in the fingers when jumping off the plan...or the strain of the muscles while rock climbing..all these is just to feel alive. Rather than avoiding pain,suffering and confrontation, I should learn to embrace them...to understand that to be alive is to be feel pain and suffering. It is correct to avoid these once you experience them, but if one has not experience it before. How does one know that this is pain and suffering and thus learn to avoid them ? By avoiding it, is one then also avoiding life ?

 I think what I took from this movie, is that I should learn to accept that to be alive , to live , it is not possible to avoid any mistakes , any bad emotions but that mistakes can be made, and mistakes will make one feel really bad. However, mistakes is just an indicator that something is not working and that one should just turn to another path which will infinitely lead you to more paths and more mistakes. Eventually, there might be a place where one is contented or there might be none but regardless, all these shows that one is truly alive and is thus living.