The Passing

I don't really know where to start, but I will try to have a comprehensive and details of my thoughts and observations over the past few days. As some of you may know, my grandfather had just passed away on last saturday. Its actually pretty mentally as well as physically taxing and draining to say the least. His passing was really out of a sudden from my POV, friday my family went out for a sumptuous dinner and the next day, we got news that my grandpa was in hospital due to heart failure. After my morning lesson, I went back and my Dad told us to head down to the hospital as most probably its the last time already. I wasn't that close to my grandfather due to an incident that I happened to witness and till this day I still rmbered it. So I thought I will not be so affected by it. Upon reaching the hospital, looking at all the tubes and machines being attached to my grandfather, then I felt the realities of death. He is already in coma when I reached there, Ah ma ask my sis and me to call out to him, speaking in hokkien, she told him that we were there, i called out once Ah gong, the second time, I choked and started tearing....she ask him to wake up, there was slight increase in blood pressure or pulse when we called out to him...seems that he can still hear us but he can't respond. The next 4 hrs, he experience 6 more times of heart failure, and the docs say that they had already done whatever they could....

Ah ma went home as she didnt want to stay there and see. My eldest uncle went back with her. Ard 6.20 pm, we went in and surround him, by then my other cousins had already arrive as well, we didnt knw what to say, there were silence among us as well as the constant sobbing sounds. Its really...heart wrenching, when we saw the pulse or blood pressure kept decreasing...60..14...11...eventually zero and the one straight line comes out. Then the adults left the ICU to handle the necessary procedures, leaving us..the grandchildren alone behind. We were silent throughout, and just look at him, each of us absorbed in our thoughts. I thought back everything and tried to see if I can recollect any memories of my Ah Gong besides that incident, I recalled some recollections when I was still young and he will bring me around the neighbourhood, speaking english to me as he is english educated unlike my maternal side.Before he got dementia, he will always be reading the papers in the morning while I would be eating my maggie mee with ernest or maine beside me. Then he will go out to central for his daily roamings, there was a few times where I bump into him at the interchange and say hi. Sometimes, I would avoid him...I dont knw...I guess its the youth period bah. I prayed during that silent period, when my mum came in and said its over and thats the end.

All 3 of us were tearing and sobbing, as I left the ICU, I saw young kids running around.Truly the hospital where life begins and where life will ends.