Random World

While closing my eyes....

I feel like I am in a world where sakura scatters from the trees and the wind blows gently. Sakura following the direction wherever the wind blows. Am seating on a granite table, with an empty notebook and a flask of hot green tea. Noticing the pebbled walkway as the leaves and sakura covers it. And just behind the waterway flows as gently as possible, the flowing water sounds that are so soothing to one's ears.

Its always the little things that counts..

A friend shared this on my fb just now. And I feel that..well..maybe I should also shared it here on my blog for those whose newsfeed dont show my posts or well u are just nt my stalker=(...lolz.. There were a lot of small things that I overlooked everyday, some were neutral, with no impact on my life. Others came back and haunt me every now and then. And on hindsight, I think we as people tends to move so fast, tend to keep believing in the ultimate dream/goal, the dreams that others want us to live or maybe just a form of escapism for some, that we missed out on the present.

I remembered once while I decided to walk to my grandma's place instead of taking the bus, oks I was kinda emo I guess...haha...but anws, I was walking down. And I noticed for the first time how beautiful the evening sun was and when the wind blows, the leaves came tumbling down ever so lightly. I was taken aback, and a lot of people said that there is no TRUE nature here in singapore. While I was enjoying such a view and the wind against my face, it kinda dawned on me that I was so caught up with my problems as well as speed of life that I missed all these nature completely. The trees had always been there, the sun is the same though the wind is not everpresent=P. So, how on earth did I miss them out?

Moral of the story? Well, learnt to appreciate the small things or maybe the smallest action of any kind in your life, for each action there will be a reaction. Hence, no matter whether the reaction have any SIGNIFICANT impact on ur life or not, there is still an impact. 

예린 addiction

I am feeling like a dad already...ROFL

예린 귀엽다

작은 예린

Was watching little yerin here, and no, I am no pedophile...haha. But, 아기를진짜귀엽다( baby is so cute). And though I don't really play much with kids, unless they play with me first...haha such a tua pai..but I  enjoy watching them. Kids are like the epitome of true happiness. The sheer joy when they smile and the reckless things they do when not considering the rational or basic pros n cons behind their actions. haha...I think just by watching them, their joy is rather infectious=D...I think its some kind of spiritual therapy for the tainted soul in me...haha. So for ppl who well cant find anything to cheer up with, why not little YeRin here?...haha

Uncertainties In Life

Certain doors should not be opened, but being inquisitive, I went to opened it. Guess I shouldn't have. Uncertainty is definitely scary thing, I might had said this before, but the only certainty in this world is uncertainty. I am uncertain about a lot of things, I done/thought/act upon things which I am filled with uncertainty, but at least I tried, and if things TRULY don't go my way, then just suck it up lor...cuz well not everything goes one's way does it, though it sucks...ha. Instead of wallowing in doubt and all, maybe one should just take the plunge? Of cuz it depends on each situation bah. I am also filled with uncertainty over stuff, but...hmm..who knows ?=)

고양이,미안 해요.

Some things never changed

We may have changed, met various people, got involved in different situations be it physically n mentally, but for some reason, I guess when we are in each others' company, the common ground/trust/faith we have in each other is still as strong as when we started. Even though the logical mind of me tries to over-rule what my instincts say otherwise,  unknowingly my instincts still took centre stage. Well like the age old adage, that I always like.  "Always thrash things out, don't wait till it foster and rot."

When we were recollecting about how we first started out, my thought was after O levels results and I expected her to say over msn, but was rather surprised that she also said the same thing. Well, I guess some things really don't change bah..lol. And when she said or rather made certain promises, looking at her eyes, I can see the affirmation that she has, and for that, I think I have to honor my side of the deal also.

Usually when I talked, I don't tend to look at people in the eyes, for some reason I guess its my brain way of shifting brain power to ponder more about the subjects brought up or the crap/joke that I am going to conjure. But, if I want to affirm something, I would look at someone in the eyes, because eyes expression says everything and its near difficult to fake. And seriously speaking, if I didn't get the security or affirmation that I had envisaged, I guess I would have taken another route that I had already mapped out. One may asked, how could I be certain that I haven't already step on that route already. Well, the answer is simple. If I were to start on that route, I wouldn't have blogged about this in such vivid and obvious details, cuz I know YOU will be reading this. That person will understand.=)

On a bright note, at least I managed to get off to a good start to this year in terms of this friendship...haha. Its very easy to think about how amazing/magical/surreal we have achieved with each other, that its really easy to think that " aiyah the other party will understand" or " the other party should know me well", that we kinda forget that there is nothing magical or cool about it. Its actually takes a lot of effort, especially when both are changing and circumstances are different that we had to take the effort to try to adjust to each others' needs and insecurities(oks.... only me), as well as managing our inner complexities etc etc, ...n ultimately the belief that we have in each other that kept us together.

Maybe instead of being in sync, its actually and had always been, is whether I had enabled the sync-ing process a not. If one has an android phone, u would understand this...erm provided u knw hw ur phone works that is...HAHA. Gosh, I always amazed myself with my anecdotes.=P

Beginning of the Finale?

So we said goodbye to 2011( 안녕 2011!!), hello 20112 (안녕하세요 2012!!). Seems that I didn't manage to break the 일백(100) mark for 2011 in terms of blogposts=P. Happily to say that, though there are more posts this year as compared to the past few years, this year not so emo lo. Haha..but there has been a lot of instances where I was swallowed up by my deepest demons and I react and do stupid things as well as screwing my ownself up a lot. For instance, during the debacle back in april, and I thank JY for helping me out and steady my boat in such choppy waters and pig as well for, well just being there=).  The past year had been a good year in terms of studies, I managed to clear all my subjects and well still maintain a course towards 2nd upper. In terms of travelling, well last year also had been a bountiful year, with me going to taiwan,malacca,bintan and hong kong this year. And of course, my grandpa passing away. Oh and picking up 한국어=)

To summarise up 2011, I guess it would be nostalgia, acceptance, change and continuity. Seriously, I am very tempted to go thru everything that happened in 2011 again, I like self reviews..haha...but on today, the 1st Jan of 2012, i guess we should just leave them at their place, shall we? Which belongs at 2011.

Well then, 2012 the end of the world..etc etc...like I said before, I don't think its the end of the world. Rather, I would prefer to see it as a year where massive changes takes place, but not the end of the world. I can feel the changes already, or rather see it in my surroundings. New Year Resolutions?

Well, I am gonna let go a lot of things ...no point having expectations when it is based like 5 years ago, and that sometimes times change, but as long as I keep my end of the deal then thats should be enough, kinda tired of having those mental struggles with my mind over things that ain't the norm anymore.  Oh and something interesting to note is that, I will be setting 6 months resolutions instead of a year...haha..i think its more effective that way. One is definitely to get my studies back on track, to strengthen my korean and to lose weight and as well as save MORE...like seriously...haha

Lastly for the hot topic of the year, r/s. I think 2011 has shown that I am def. nt ready for any r/s, well cuz, there are a lot of crushes here and there, a surprised fling as well, kept feeling insecure...no..I am not ready for it...but out of all these, there might be one...but...I shall leave it at that..haha...

One more thing is, I guess I said a lot of times already but I just still sort want to highlight this. Is that don't so easily believe or seriously take every word that I say, because what I say sometimes don't reflect what I am truly feeling or thinking. Although I am trying to apprehend that problem currently...lolz...so do be patient. I think people truly needs to observe me and know how to differentiate my true self as well as my fabricated one. Not many are able to do that, maybe its cuz I don't show true self often. There used to be one..but now ..who knows ..haha...anws HAPPY 2012!!!

To myself, smile more and think/feel with a bigger heart=)