Updates

Well well it has been quite some time since I last blog, seems that I don't really have the panache for blogging these days...wonder is it due to the age where you just go with the flow?...hmm..this is bad...haha...Well so far, managed to get 1 interview so far, but well things are not where they are yet ...but I am sure it will be. Been reading a lot of inspirational and positive books recently, I feel that I need to undergo a deep and structural change if I want to achieve what I wanted..and I set myself kinda like a 5 year target that I wish to hit. It won't be easy, however like recently, I just managed to clear my PPTs in IPT ...where I ran in time, though its still slow and all but I managed to make it. And I kept reminding myself its the present that counts, the next step because the now is the most important thing, the only thing I can control. The past was the now. And the Future will be due to the now. So, its now that is most important. I think this will be this year's quote of the year.

Recently, like got a bit of wanting to stray...maybe its cuz now its pretty monotone le, or maybe because its like your ideal kind seems to be interested in you or maybe cuz of the debacle last month. Well its like this, that recently told zhenni that actually she is like my ideal kind, out of all the girls I was interested in. So told her that its just ideal, ideals aren't meant to happen de. She also knew about the debacle back then. So once we were having lunch, wonder is it I was wearing office wear so I might be quite handsome...lolz...jkjk... So she asked about me and adeline, I told her that we just pretended nothing happened lor..I mean I dont know is this the way to go, but I guess being positive and all helps and that maybe I should try to understand her more and throw away some pre-fabricated ideals about relationships. So when I told Zhenni about that we decided to forget it, she thought that we totally just forget everything that we were together and all. So I told her that no lah...we are still together. Den she said that oh no V-day she will have to spend her V-day with her best friend again. And I was like caught off guard..because what has you spending V-day with your best friend gotta do with me? Coupled with the fact that previously she also said something about like if she see Master Lynn(my fs master) and then Master lynn tells her that we should be together or something during the time when I chased her. And...plus the fact she is quite desperate now, well judging from what she has been doing recently. All this kinda makes an attractive proposition.

However, I did set aside some time to think about it. And I came down to a conclusion, that it just might be a one off thing because its like a logical decision but feelings wise, I don't have anything for her le. I also cannot visualise myself hugging her or whatever that I had done with adeline...which kinda convince me that I doubt I will go after zhenni now. Of course, logically speaking, I think she will be much easier to be with then adeline because we are so so much like each other. Be it our values or our interests. So therein lies the temptation. But, I guess if I am in a r/s with someone else, its like an obligation, once you make a commitment/ promise, one still have to honour it unless the commitment is eating your life away. 

Recently also asked Tracy about it, like why when single, everyone don't seem to bother about you. But once you are attached, suddenly you are slightly hot property?...Don't seem to make much sense if you ask me...weird.