It has already been some time since I last went out with her...has it been 2 months already...wow....thts really a long time...lol...ya it was...she was sick...and had gum problems so didnt really talk much...its kinda weird not talking much with her...and sort of felt lonely lor...dunno why too...I crap a lot as usual but never show my discomfort towards her...its juz not the same anymore...felt too distant...as if she is too far away from my life already...I used to update her on my life...try to meet up with her every week( though it never happen...)...Like how to say...I also nt sure..cuz I am able to meet up with min and longyu everyweek...they understand me and we can talk about things as we always meets up...however with her...I for the 1st time felt lost...I am not sure...dunno wad happen in her life...dunno wad to tell her about mine cuz we never sit down and chat for a long time...all too distant...
Awhile ago, she offered to sent me to camp...a bit surprised cuz she wasnt like tht b4...though it didnt happen...ask her why she so nice and all...she said this' Cuz u seems to have gotten over me, so cant I juz nian u a bit'...So thts wad I was there for...juz to fill a gap left by someone for a period of time...or was it becuz we never hang out as much as in the past...felt that it was the 1st one...is most gals like tht?...both my mum and she says that I seems to be always bz and stuff...maybe I am...cuz its has already so long a time since feb 26...amazing how one rmbrs such things...I was walking to my grandma hse today and realised that the sky was kinda nice today with its orange colour....then thought that this is always the norm...how come I never realised it?...realised that i had been always rushing here and there, w/o stopping to have some time for myself...never had the time to stop and think about her...today I did...somehow felt kinda sad cuz its being too distant liao...and she is going to leave soon...I am happy for her cuz she can finally study a course tht she likes and she can go overseas...bt the idea of her not being on this island....is kinda not right...imagine how does one keeps up with one's best fren thru email and msn but at the same time not knowing whether she is ok and fine there...it will feel different lor...
" I am always seeing her back view...always waiting for her....rushing to be by her side whenever she needs me" thts a phrase from an anime lor...sounds very familiar...ahahaha...anw...for me its ok liao...I am juz her very good fren and will honour my promise to her......i think I can safely says that I am over her liao...but certain things can never ever be replaced from life cuz they are so part and parcel of u that no matter how one try to run away from it...it will keep on popping out in front of ya...=D
Now...I am free and able to do what I want though I think of the past..however unlike the past, I never dwell in it anymore and as for between me and Muddy...hmm...lets juz say that let time tells and fate decides..I have enough of thinking so much and putting too much into something liao....one more day to BOOK OUT!!!!=D
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