Hitting the BIG 2!!!!

Just turned 20 sia...like 72 hours ago...OMG..old le...this year pai hang bang is Pig, Jie Sheng, Samantha, Zhenni, My sis, shane, Ben Loh, justin(amazing sia), Jolene, Ah Png. Haha...apparently Sam lost to Pig this year and of cuz must thank all those that wished before or through friendster like Soff. and charmaine...lol...Anw I spend my birthday in camp and waiting for activation lor in the end nothing happened because activated the next day instead. Pig and me spent like 2 hours sms-ing at times nonsensical stuff like super cows to..wad else ah?...grass...lol...till 12 midnight lor=P...Oh and must thank both kelly and ly again if not they say I never thank them...haha...

Also another surprise was because sam msg me all the way from UK sia!...haha...It was really great to received it from her lor, then I was just trying to msg back..haha it works as well but dunno whether must pay for any charges lor..this month already overshoot my phone bills liao=P

That day someone asked me why I sounded happy? and to her its kinda abnormal...lol...this just sets me thinking that "Am I always a Sad and Troubled person to u ??"...on hindsight, h,,..maybe lor because of last time and the whole process about it including the recent events.So however when for the 1st time, I felt lighter and free...as if certain chains have been broken, I might seem different to some. After spending a year in..eh...in a cave depressing and at times having false hopes as well as false emotions and all...well felt that now is the time to emerged and maybe to seriously contemplate about the future. It feels strange of me to like maybe taking the 1st step to studying about finance, to watch anime(s), to learn more on basketball, to go out with friends and doing fun stuff besides well..always sitting down and chat...of cuz I am not saying thats wrong or what but always do that..eh...kinda boring after awhile right?...lol..but of cuz sometimes its great lah...Anw it's this sort of things that I think its the change and I must have the courage to do certain things as well as try to remain myself lah...Oh...and maybe should try to be more calm, a bit the easily agitated recently..lol...Hopefully, can enter a local Uni. man...some frenz of mine already got accepted liao...and i havent...sianz sia=(

U have change as well maybe to become more independent. I will not lag behind=P

To kelly, thanks for the encouragement=)...and yeah we should pick ourselves up and move on...there is so much waiting for us in the future=D

PS: And eh....dun get ur last sentence...a bit the too dense for me=P...will ask u next time. Oh and thanks for ur 'present' advice=D

PLU....Waraku..Balls...Driving...Music....and Sticks...

There had been much going on recently...lol...haha most of it is my birthday celebration lor...last Sunday, the gals both ly and kelly treat me to waraku at Central there. Its actually a japanese and italian fusion...sounds cool rite??...haha...oh and kelly was late as usual sia. Made me and ly to wait for like...erm...an hour...hor kel...chat at starbucks for awhile. When she finally came, i just drank my green tea finish liao....and for a moment thought kel look kinda good...must be the hair...lol..shucks i praise her again...haha...everytime call me uncle so must call her oba-san!!!=P...then heard something about PLU...lol...and the organic white wine was great!!! haha...after that we just anyhow walk around and eventually drag them to PS to chiong arcade. We played the bball game and ly and me went all the way to 349 sia...highest all time score sia!!!...haha..later we also got play daytona and some music beats game and kel got to keep pressing the notes all by herself=P....haha and I just stood there laughing...then after that went to eat swensen..ice cream as usual..i think we should call ourselves the 'Ice-cream and drinking' gang pr ICD for short..lol...anw its great fun...though later at night must book in liao...

After that on monday, in order to celebrate the april babies bdae, everyone in the platoon gotta turn 20 times in a circle...haha i fell down after 7 turns...noob sia=P

It started very abruptly...I didn't know what to say...said something wrong about like can relax for awhile..so don't need to chiong or smthg in studies....she got angry..saying that should work harder since tests are coming...then find it hard to even hold a conversation properly. Went straight into the problem...starting off wasn't kinda bad...for about 15 min(s), it was mostly arguing and realised that both sides were confused and don't know what to do about it...voices were raised at some point of time. Somehow or rather, I managed to tell the past to her and what I was feeling at some points of time, said about why I did certain things and how come I was thinking in such a way. In the end, said that it was my fault for the drift in us and that I had misunderstood certain issues. Somehow in the end, the conversation ended on a lighter note but it also dawn to me that I am not that significant eventually so in a way...I thought too much again...lol...sucks sia...haha...

Dunno how all this will turn out in the future, there is a sense of haziness at the other end...like what I had said before, if there is fate between us..we will still be part of each other's life.

jaded...tired...its time to change and grow up=)

let it come in the future...

Thank you for being there for me when I needed u again...I have always believed your words though for a while I didn't. Lets go thru life's journey and grow together, my dear friend=) Thank you for the 'encouragement'=D

I think I will let it pass for now...cuz u did the same a few months back...

Why must u do this to me??!!! Why doesn't it ever stop! It just keeps happening again and again...is it because of who I am, is it my character, is it the way I am...where on earth is wrong!! Edwin maybe u are right...maybe its me...I am prone to such incidents. Now I am truly stuck, I am torn between my feelings as well as my mind, I know what should be done, but I cannot bring myself to do it...there is this barrier, it seems so tall and towering and there seems no way around it

I thought all was well already, just being like this...u wont get hurt so much...and I am able to have more time to consider things. Why must u all of a sudden throw this problem up? Is it in u that because u have clear one stack of papers , it is now to clear the other stack which u have found at the bottom of the heap and realised that it is also an eyesore to your clean desk?

Now u have made us even further than before, why u want the past when it is already over, u should have known it will happened like this...I am no different sia...and I am not the old person I was...there is no way, absolutely no way I am going back there again...u have never been thru it..u dunno how horrible it is.

Now it seems that I have to go thru with u these heap of papers and that there are many sacrifices that have to be made or that have to be filed up...is this truly the clean desk that u want....if eventually it is, then we have made the right choices after all...if not, then...

Was just reading my archives because someone commented my archives to be damn long....and suddenly all the pain and..ok not the pain but feelings came back to me. The times when I feel so much about someone..is just seems so so long ago already, when I read back. I thot to myself whoa was it really that painful, that horrible, that heart-wrenching...Dawn to me that practically from the month dec 06 to sept 07 were entries all about her. So it was really that horrible.

Read also posts that pertaining to muddy, it sort of gave new insights about how I feel about her in the past and now. Somehow I can see the foolishness...ok maybe not foolishness but rather the underlying motive on why I always have the( must go after her) thot last time. And now I am beginning to see it and understand it liao....conclusion? maybe not so in to her liao lor...its a passing phase bah.

yesterday also chat with kel for so long...ok not my longest conversation but it was our longest lor...lol..a bit bu xi guan to tok to her for so long..but hey its long overdue lor. How can be gd frenz w/o those long convos. sia...lol...

Oks..Just realised that it has been some time since I last updated my blog...actually someone was saying about it=p....hor kel....lol...haha...only way..well...a few updates were that I got MY IPPT SILVER liao!!! hehe....thank u thank u.....this month got extra 100 lor...=P. And over last weekend, I flew to sabah in east malaysia to celebrate my uncle's wedding..and the food there was..woah...superb sia!....hmm..what else to say leh...army life still the same lor..kinda sianz but once tahan this month...haha...I can smell the O in ORD loh......