Grumblings

Oks..so the problem is always time isn't it...people are fighting for your time and I am also got to queue up and wait for a number before I am able to meet up with u...woah...and some how or rather I will always be the one who join the queue late and missed out on the time slots. How interesting sia. Everytime I ask u out...juz to even to tell u the problem...I also in the end end up waiting for a queue number...woah...how cool is tht man...

I try to always say tht the problem lies in myself or other factors but then...but then everytime I think about it...I get utterly pissed off sia...I hate it when there isn't a confirmation, I hate it when something crops up...then nvm...I understand there isn't really much friends tht we have in common....but sometimes could u at the very least, from time to time, msg how are u? or tell me smthg abt wad happen or wanna meet up...it has been a bloody one month since u last just MIA sia..wad are u trying to tell me? I knw u used to say tht eugene is someone who dun require much attention in other words not much 'maintenace'..but somehow every machine needs a routine check up here and there...even so I am also human...everytime I just paused to tink..I get worked up...wah..this isnt the supposedly calm and think before i act eugene man..i also know...but I just lose it..i dun understand it as well...if i can treat ben loh, henry like tht...i cannot treat u the same...i also dunno why sia....is there such a huge difference??

Or In the end I am just fed up with the fact tht time is never enough with the both of us...family,frenz, bf for u....family,army, frenz for me...

Or maybe I dunno u well enough Or maybe I have change to be some kind of rash, impulsive and insenstive, selfish person...so can someone tell me the answer??...how ironic is tht maybe after 1 big round...its my fault...haha...

AHM 2008

Last Sunday, was my 2nd 21km AHM rum at the marina bay area again!! It was kinda sucky because the padang was reduce to mud, mud..and more mud and my beloved Asics white and orange shoe became only one colour..brown!!!!...wah...saded sia....totally took the fun out of everything man!...the route was more or less the same but the starting part was shorten and there is this off road trail that start behind the east coast park towards the marina barrage( courtesy of SCE!!!! wah kao...own people shio hai!!=X)....then its even more mud time! and mosquitos as well. The run over the marina barrage was indeed nice because of the view of the city skyline as well as the ocean... then the run through marina south was kinda struggling, saw my PS kenna cramps but got sargent eugene( not me!!! he is a regular and quite g*** l** person as well) to help him. Finally reached the city which left only 1 km and felt my left thigh going to kenna muscle pull le...and left only 6 mins to my target of 2hr 45 mins(got 3 days off leh!!)...then just chiong sia...left 500m my right leg also pull a bit..then I was like.."come on..come on not long only" began to talk to myself. Once I crossed the finish line, I jump and hit the board with "FINISH" the word.. on my watch was 2hr 40 mins!!! hopefully the official time records didnt screw up...ahaha...was quite pleased with myself=P..hehe..ORD run sia!!!..haha

Fireworks 2008

On last Friday, went to marina bay late and all..cuz james and val to wait for me and ly....anw we got the in house seats at the food court and MS. Found a young boy thts quite cute and the fireworks were like 30 mintues late man!!!....haha better than the NDP ones but like Ly said after awhile kinda boring....might be catch 2 much fireworks le=X...maybe should go to the platform to catch better cuz with the sound effects better. We went to the Irish pub at MS to chill than just nice met up with james frenz..iphy,melvin and joseph...haha and suddenly realised tht I am kinda left out being the only C out of the SRs there...haha...but ok lah..trying to deal with meeting up new people..must improve my socialising skills =X...haha...so hang out and eat supper till real late at makan sutra there lor...after tht went home le...haha interesting nite out thou=P

UPDATES

This week is going to be shiong to the max man!!! with Range and AHM on this sunday...siow leh...lol...haha anw this weekend had been a rather chill lax weekend lor...and oh! singapore got into the finals and they already confirm a silver le!! ZAI sia!!! though I think they are going to be pawned by the chinese=p

Anw dreamt of u again...dreamt that u realised what u did and was sorry for it...I am not angry already but just maybe its a bit of pride that I dont want to give in anymore but rather I felt that its always a one way thing. Its quite a pity that it had come to this...maybe u are bz as usual...hah but doubt u will realise there is a problem between us as of now...somehow feel that we are both walking different ways le...but in any case, u had always created a lasting impression on me=)

Hopefully can run AHM below 2 hr 45 mins sia!!then can get 3 days OFF!!!! 118 days to ORD=D

Lack of confidence, impulsiveness, ego-centric, have high expectations on others, stubbornness, insecurity...these are just some the many flaws I have that I realized for the past few days. maybe one of the many reason why I always think a lot of things was that I am afraid of failing, afraid of this and that was largely due to my lack of confidence as pointed out by fishy. With that my lack of security comes in and got me panic over the smallest problems at times...Nowadays I am also getting a little high-headed, must learn how to accept others' opinions as well as reasons. Once I can managed that, I can pick out the good and the bad from their ideas. I think with this ego-centric thinking , it set off the high expectations on others...especially the ones that are around me. And soon I set a particular standard for them to reach and if they don't, I get bothered by it and stuff. Then I forgot that people have their own characters and that's wad made them unique and all.

As for my future, like what Kenneth said that day, don't think and worry so much..u generally know the idea le...now just go along and experience the changes then see whether there is a need to change the plan half way.

As for her, its just all about me having more confidence in myself as well as try to think of the other party as well as learning how to let go a lot of the various insecurities that I have. jolene said smthg quite good, aiyah why are u rushing...just take ur time to get to know her better...then it dawn to me...the chase is not over yet this is not the ending so just keep on what I am doing and enjoy every minute of it. And thts the impulsiveness habit thats happening as well as the over sensitive part.

WEIRD!!...

Recently got to talk with an old friend of mine from tuition centre and it seems like she started msg-ing me often...so ok ok....my alarm bells started ringing!!!danger danger.....yesterday night she asked me to call her...then ok lah call lor...call then talk for quite awhile...then she asked me when i bk out...so i say like fri. sat . and sun. lor...and she was like' huh..then like tht i can only talk to u on these days only ah'.... i was like...woah..choto matei...tht sounds weird man*thinking in my head*...then this morning she asked for help over her school work...ok...maybe its zi zao becuz i last time juz say tht if she need some1 to type..i can do it lor...now doesn't tht sounds weird?? for someone tht i nvr contact for 3 years le...OMG is she hitting on me?...lol...nah cannot be lah...no no...lol....think i think too much lah=P