Just got back from my grandma's place for dinner. Along the way, my mum told me that my grandma wants me to visit her more often and learn whatever cooking techniques that she knows to me. My 1st initial reaction was like 'why me?' 'how come its always me?'....those thoughts that ran through my mind. Shouldn't it be my mum?...and when my mum said that, I feel kinda stress and guilty to some extent, because she told my mum that she wants to teach me while its still possible...those words seriously hit me very hard...and I think brings me to the world of the adults. The world where I so hard tried to resist, I wanted to be selfish, to do what and when I like...I guess maybe I need a change of mindset.

I realised that I am someone who likes to shun away from a lot of things, like things that I didn't intend to pick up or things that are not part of my plans. It might be the 'spoilt' mentality in me, or the adverse part of me that is reacting. Eventually I find excuses and ways to avoid it, i think the most famous one is the just let time flows lor...and when I think back of all the things that I missed, its all down to me being soft on myself and being a coward. So, when my grandma tells my mum those words' while its still possible'...I was really quite shaken somewhere...cause its like for the first time, my grandma is really old and all. And suddenly, time seems to fly...

I need to change my mindset, to accept the notion of not having those 'stoning' times, to learn about commitments...this year will be different.