Results...

PBF: 61
Econs:61
Maths 1:70
Maths 2:73
Stats 1: 67
Stats 2: 31

Shag

Just got back home, and my mum ask me whether I am working tomorrow...I said no. Then she said, at least now I can relax as I had been running around. Which got me thinking about the past week. I been constantly going to TTSH as my grandpa was admitted to hospital. I brought my grandma back and fro, then when discharge I also brought them back...then work...RT...Natsu Matsuri...RT...going out...helped my uncle type out his resume...so yeah...kinda shag sia..thats pretty much my life for the past 2 weeks.

Last saturday, went to natsu matsuri for the second time le. Went with SP and end up joining jerrold, YS and other friends...not bad...was really fun..met zhenni as well( weird emotions again)...lol...then did really well with water yo-yos this time round..haha...enjoyed my dance with jerrold...lolz

Come to think of it...I am really tired...lolz...Nitez peeps then.=)

I have decided....this is the end to this chapter

Update on my Grandpa.

Well, luckily there is no stroke. Apparently there is some bleeding in the brain, most probably due to trauma which is usually caused by a fall. And he fractured his right wrist and his right leg now is rather weak...seems his body can't take the stress le. But overall, he is alright. Hoping the full report and the CT scan can be out by tml and the doctor can clear him to be discharge by thursday.

I think its both tiring for everyone of us including my grandma, when we had to bring her to the hospital every single day...For me, its rather sianz lor..cuz there is only so much we can talk then there will be some long periods of silence while I am reading my books. To some extent, its rather boring.

On a bright note, at least now I am reading my books which i had put off a long time le...lol

Different Stages of Life

Recently, my grandpa wasn't feeling well and apparently its rather bad, with vomiting and being able to walk at all. He fell twice when he stood up according to my grandma. Initially we thought was dengue as their area has seen a surge in dengue fever...apparently it wasn't when I followed them to Dr. Koh today.

We got a wheelchair from Jo yesterday, and we use it to transport him around because he can't even have the strength to walk even 10 steps( i counted) properly. It was the first time I am pushing a wheelchair, it's also the first time that I had to help my grandpa( I wasn't as close to him as my grandma)...it felt really weird when I held his elbow...its like if I exert too much force, he would break...he felt so brittle. Needless to say, my grandma was as her strong self...she took control of the situation, she carried him, she told him exactly what to do like how she use to tell me, she scolded him when he defied her 'orders'=P...haha...I felt a bit  at a lost at the whole situation...because I don't really know how to react. All I can do was to try to be there, because I also know my dad also not as strong as before le...dunno whether he would had over-exerted if he were to lift the wheelchair by himself. It feels really strange for me to be caught in this situation...but I think there is a first time for everything bah.

Today, I burned incense paper for the first time in my life because today is the 15th and that my dad had no time to do it as he had to changed and quickly head down to get my grandpa to ttsh. I never imagine myself doing these jobs before.

Anws, we went to Dr. koh this morning and I was the one pushing the wheelchair...it felt weird for me, I wonder how he felt...Dr. Koh said that he suffered a mild stroke and that caused his right leg to be real weak and thats why he can't stand up straight and move around like normal. Dr. koh said that its rather lucky that he is able to eat and that he seem to be alright.

It just struck me that my life is about to take another turn, and that I have to handle more of such issues..and that I had to take up more responsibilities( which is something that I also shunned in the past)...things have changed, I can't forever remain in my current state anymore.

And to think, I was concerned over relationship issues not too long ago...now those things seems to be rather insignificant now...I think this is what people meant, when you are in your early twenties. "Reality is never what we had thought it out to be".

Oh...and for u peeps who are reading this, I am not sad or anything...its just something that I want to blog about..so don't have to worry about me.=)

L4D2,25th Floor and Expectations

Yesterday, went out with zhenni for L4D2 and all. I would say that I was right in following my gut feeling and go and meet up with her. In the end, all the fears and worries that I have were unfounded and that I was right in certain things and yet I was mostly wrong in others as well. We didn't discuss on what had actually happened between us.Apparently, it seems that we were back to square one. To the day, where we first went out and the first time when we actually sat down and talk. Not that I am complaining. Initially I had thought that the problem she was facing was about us...but haha...I am not that significant to begin with bah.

She told me that she like a new guy and that she had sort of given up on the other guy which had been on her mind for a rather long time le( yes, i did feel a bit of jealousy, but its was very minimum..more of a like..haiz looks like another one kind lor) And the complications that arises because of it. We walked around her estate and talked about the problem. And like in the past, I was solving her issue...rather objectively if u ask me...haha...we managed to sort of solve it and to some extent contain it...

Realised that she is really very much like myself...a mirror image of what I am, like seriously...haha She also felt that I had changed to be more positive and at the same time more on a similar frequency as her, unlike in the past(according to her). I dun know about that, but I do know that I am trying my best to know her all over again...I used to always aim to be the ideal boyfriend candidate in front of her to the extent that I lost myself, my own true self.

If u guys ask me whether I still have feelings for her, I am also not so sure...lolz...I don't have those like want to 'physical contact' anymore, but to think logically, she is by far the ideal girlfriend that I would like to have..someone who is able to be on the same wavelength with me, and at times be playful...and somehow I still find her attractive still...dunno...( and sam, its not the legs=P)...

Will I go after her again? Dunno...since she likes someone else le...but we both parted with an open mind..." For all we know, we might be together eventually. Maybe we might even get married. On the other hand, we might not as well" She replied :" Yea, we might never know"

My gut feeling was that I don't want this relationship to sour...because I think we still have something special between us...maybe its the same feeling that I have with Sam in the past, the feeling that I don't want it to end just like this...but on the other hand, it might be that she is the one...lolz...god knows sia...haha

I am not hoping for anything from this anymore...actually  I don't really hope for r/s or anything like this le...its more like, if it happens then its good lor...I think its really no more use of me trying to force anything out of these things anymore. I use to think that I have to be persistent...well ya its kinda true, but if its a forced kind...then..well it aint natural anymore and like what happen to me, was that I lost myself and ended up trying to keep up with the image I had conjured up in front of her.

Then, what lies for the both of us? Currently, I don't think that both of us are not in the situation where there is a high chance for us to bring this r/s to anthr level. Deep down, inside of me I am also got a bit of don't want her to get along with the other guy...Maybe I am someone in her life that will always be there to solve her problems*shrugs* god knows. oh which brings me to this another point, is that I am always like one step ahead of her, thats why I seem to always understand what she is going thru, 2 years ago was like this and 2 years on its still the same...lol..but in any case, I now knew that we are not that far as I had previously envisioned after all.

Overall mood? Happy and relieved to a certain extent=)

Exchanges...What is your own Inner valuation?

Today went out and watch the movie " Taipei Exchanges". It features kway lun mei...one of my favourite Taiwanese actress because she has this youthful look though she is already in her late 20s/early 30s. And her innocent look is seriously OMG...haha

Anws, I won't go much into the movie because its those kind of arty-farty kind of show. So, to some people, the plot was rather sketchy or smthg. In any case, its centered about barter trade...lolz. On a lighter note, the film just emphasizes on the need for money...haha..cuz there were instances where two people cannot find a common thing to exchange.

There were some quotes made that was rather meaningful. There is this part where the director goes out onto the streets and interview people, on " what is the most valuable thing in life?"...There is this guy said about Innocence, what the guy meant was that as we grow up. We tend to follow what society wants, and hence we became complicated creatures. And he said that we tend to go against our own true feelings...tht sounds familiar...haha

There were a lot of other interesting things that was brought up by the director as well...or hindsight, it's nt really a super good show...maybe au revior taipei would be better?

Out of Control

Recently, I had been acting rather irrational if u ask me. I don't know why I reacted in a certain way anymore, there is no more logical basis for my actions. And i think thats rather scary. I am one who believes in control over oneself, but recently, I had been run on emotional auto-pilot.

The thoughts, feelings, actions were totally wrong and irrational....and at times impulsive. I think that I shouldn't have reacted in such a way to lei...thing is we were not also that close...like mentally or smthg...so yes it was weird, its like those times of physical attraction...I think to me bah...we had a lot of physical contact..but...well...I still don't really know much about her...

In any case. I sort of press the restart button regarding all such issues...I am going back to square one...I think I am afraid of myself of doing the wrong things...think its for the best.