GIBBERRISH!!!

GIBBERISH!!!

Been feeling kinda monotone and routine for the past few days, maybe because its the idea of come back home must at least finsh one chapter a day idea...though it eventually became one chapter =2 days....ok thats besides the point...well havent really had a truely happy laughter for quite some time liao...only know two words...mug and mug somemore...so if I were to blog everyday, it will be the same story...lol...it will be too boring lor...lol...but thats the way lor...

Just know I just came back in time to watch the last episode of "crying out love in the centre of the world", its about a guy who cannot let go of his past girlfriend who is already dead a long time ago..ok...about 20 years...and he always kept a bottle of her ashes with him...everywhere he goes and he totally forgot how to truely smile for 20 odd years... I bet some will straight away say he is stupid and others will say that he is damn romantic...but for me, I will ask...How did u managed to live for so long??...practically just drifting in life is like being like a zombie..holding on to the past and hoping that this is the right thing to do...sort of admire him for his preservence but at the same time, feel that he is crazy...lol...heard that this is a true story in japan(dunno whether true or not:P)...then I should be very ashamed lor...coz I cant seem to even focused in my studies...lol...

Recently, feels that there is no colour in my life anymore, cause...I also dunno...but watching the show, it re-emphasis to me the need of letting go and doing what one thinks its right...not having that someone or not being able to carry out that particular dream, does not mean that they are gone from ur life...they are always in our hearts...always...thats something that most of us just cannot see it in life, we are so into or busy with the present, being afraid for the future, that we totally forget who we are and are afraid that these dreams and people are gone forever...However, thats not the case because they are always in our heart, no matter how long one not connect with it...

It made me to let go because I so far have always been feeling sianz and something else have been holding me back...so to me letting go, is for me to accept my situation and be grateful for it..and see how to improve on the situation...so far I have been just rushing forward without caring for the people around me. without thinking whether what I have been doing is right and making loads of assumptions that things are what they are. There is approximately 105 days to the A levels...that time period have cause me to panic to keep rushing without stopping to ponder over what went wrong...is that what happens to everyone in life...regardless whether you are working or studying. I have heard that a NJC gal only sleeps for 2 hours a day and the rest is spent on studying...OMG...can you imagine her life??...she keep rushing and rushing but she never stop and look at the beautiful surroundings around her...

Yesterday, was the rehearsal for AGM which is rather like the POP for the uniformed groups...thats the time where it is for me and the rest of the j2s to step down and let the juniors to take over the helm. Of course, one will naturally feel lighter without the burden anymore but it also forces me to think over and reflect on the past 1 and 1/2 years in NEXUS...and whether I have done my job...unfortunately, I dont think so...this taught me one thing is that next time I should just do what I want to do and fast and not have any regrets...thats the most important thing...so it also signals the last ending chapters of my stay in a JC....

Ironically, it is during the JC that I have learnt a lot of things and heard a lot of things...it shaped me as a person...from PR skills to handling gals...to friends and the society out there. So far it has not been an easy ride, and the road seems to be getting bumpier as the year ends...but i think it is all part of growing up.

Ok..now back to the show..lol...digressing a lot sia...lol...the ending of the shows both the leads holding hands and looking into the sunset...So, it struck me a question...What do you think is the most important thing that one should do in a relationship?? some says kissing, hugging, must communicate...to me...I think the most important thing is holding hands. Why?? Coz I feel that by holding hands, it shows a committment to each other, a bond that only two of us shared only...it also gives us the feeling that she or he is still with us and that we are together. So I find the picture of two hands clasping each other very meaningful

I bet after the entire post that you have just read, you dont know what on earth or some say mars, am I talking right?....you know what...I also dunno too...it just what ever that is inside my head for the past weeks and whatever that I have just thought , so there isnt really any order or what...haha...feels like I just empty a dustbin like that...haha

Some sees it as giving up...but I see it as letting go...if it is yours, it will be yours but of course one must be in effort lah...Dream but do not stay in it...thats the key