Chinese New Year Eve...
Whoa...today went out the whole day sia...cheong all the last minute shopping lor, went out with my sis and my uncle today...actually its my sis. who have to cheong all the last minute shopping lor...lol...furthurmore, today I bought a $3o belt...wah....heart pain!!...lol...And orchard rd today not so crowded lor...anw today took time off to think about sam. and me lor...I knw tht for most entries recently. its about this problem, but well since i cant talk much about the 'island' and tis is the biggest problem so far this year...so thts why i think about it so much lor...
I was thinking on how to juz remain as best frenz and totally forget her as someone I like...then I realise that if I do tht, then I would be very different towards her already and feels that it is not fair to her lor...but come to think of it, have she been fair to me in the 1st place?..lol...no lah anw its all up to her choice...I spent the entire day thinking lor...in the end of the conclusion was that all this was due to my choice before enlistment day...I told her I will still wait for her, so should all these happen, I will juz take it in my stride..so how to put it ah....I actually anticipate such things to happen lor, but like what I said earlier is that I didnt really prepare myself mentally for it...yest. was really downcast coz she didnt reply me and was thinking about a lot of things and somemore saw her with paul yesterday...
Now I feel that what I could do is juz to remain as normal as possible and juz be more sensitive to my reactions and words...and wadever there is towards her, coz although the final decision is not yet confirm...she is still someone else girlfriend...and I should respect that as well...anw if really at the end of the day, she prefer paul..then so be it lor...but now onwards, I dont think I will be able to treat her as someone I like anymore...maybe more as a very close fren, but I will still wait for the final verdict...then we shall see how lor...
To tell u the truth, initially I felt that there is still a chance that the final verdict will turn to my favour, but now...i really have no clues liao...anw now i think i got this feeling that wadever she choose then so be it lor...maybe coz of being on the island for a long time and after going through many shit and all, I sort of grew up to a certain extent...but anw she is definitely someone to wait for...so after 24 hours of thought...in the end, I will still carry on lor...but i wont be too close to her as in the past liao...coz it will not be fair to paul lor...if this choice I make, will result in worse consequences...then so be it bah...I have already grown up and should take responsibility in my choices...so thats that folks...and btw..HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!=)
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