Similarities...

Juz completed Honey and Clover Season 2 liao..here are my thoughts...

In the end, takemoto didnt get along with Hagu-chan though he loved her a lot and gave what he thought was everything that he could possibly do. He was able to understand her, able to reach out to her and all but in the end he was still rejected. It was all a 1 sided affair to begin with...somehow or rather I found myself very drawn to this character. Maybe coz he went thru the same stuff as I did...so I can emphatise with him=). In the end , Hagu gave him smthg that she knows that he will definitely remember the memories that they had together...and he is able to find the answer to his question liao...and move on...

Last sunday, was playing bball with the guys as usual=)...damn fun lor and they kept saying that I muz be secretly training playing bball...HAH...I never lor!!!...maybe I become fitter thts all=P After everything. we start to catch up with each other and realised that Seong broke up liao...kinda sad bt I am sure its for the best..and glad to knw tht ren is getting used to OCS..n that jon is trying to get into OCT for police...and that ben song get a girlfren liao..OMG!!! thats like whoa...and her name is also samantha though she is from VJC...shucks another one attached liao...haha...

We had lunch together after that I went with ben song back and started chatting with him...in the end I finally told him about Sam and things that happen between both of us...he was in a shock and all...and he was juz dumbstruck...well thats the sort of reaction I am sure he will get...so ya...I juz talk to him and my state of mind at that moment...he suddenly made me realised a lot of things between me and her...

1)I am still attached to her one way or another
2)I wanted so much to go back to the past....b4 everything
3)There are questions that need answering...but I cant find them
4) Is it my fault?

These are the stuff that went thru my head after that conversation...he told me that I am confused....or rather lost in a forest...I thot I had gotten totally over her, I had already pushed everything away, kept in some forgotten place..hoping that I will never touch it again...I am ok when seeing her and paul...I accepted the fact that she is attached...but I think I never gotten past the stage when she is so part and parcel of my life...in a way she is not helping by having lots of other committment...but ya I also cannot blame her lor...Everyday I walked past or around my place, I look at the void deck tables, her fav place, the paths that we trod...the places that we hang out...then some memories will flow back as if as they had never been forgotten at all...really missed those times together and all...but everytime I thot of it, reality always hit me( and they say tht reality is harsh...true lor)...now there isnt much stuff tht we can hang out together for...no more studying together...no more sharing of stuffs( coz she has her other half..or maybe I am distancing away frm her)...I told her b4 that I miss the past...dunno whether she understand that its not the part when I am very in love with her and all but the times when we juz met and the times we had together.

Foolishly, I always thot that the time when I forget abt some1, it will be when I am able to accept the fact tht she is attached and all...and everything will be back the same.hah...how dumb and stupid i am, there is no way back and that I must also learn to let go of those memories and not struggling hard to hold them back anymore...I must let go of the dream of going back to b4. So..actually I still have a long way to go...