Today hasn't been exactly a good day, maybe the day sucks or the sun not in the right place...wait what am I saying, obviously the sun is in the right place. Today, had a rather bad day at work, argued with a stupid woman who thought that a penalty fee is like a marketplace in thailand where you can bargain. Bloody idiot, you 3 times late, and you are trying to tell me to waive for you, I already kind enough to give you a 50% reduction. You have 2k plus income per month and cant even fork out 75 bucks?! Seriously man, make a mistake go and pay, argue so much say whether I know tax legislations...so what if you are an accountant?, say whether I know my tax legislations...say don't know that file late and will get penalty...just now an old man told me that last time he was arrested when he didnt file 20 years ago, and today you tell me that file late no penalty? its like your boss ask you to submit a report on time but you are late and your boss says its ok? dumb ass...Seriously, even if you complain about me, the most I resign lor...still dare to ask me how old I am and say whether I know my stuff, I didn't work here for 2.5 years and not know such a simple tax rule.

After work, shouldn't have told marcus certain things, havent exactly thought about things through yet. Oh wells, anws its not really a commitment, just a thought recently.

I think I need an anchor somewhere in my life...

More attention please...LOL

Recently, been thinking abt sam recently, been quite sometime since we last contacted, well I don't usually msg her de since she is kinda bz always and her schedule more tight...so she is someone whom I don't take initiative to contact or org any meeting and rather when she is free, then hopefully she will contact me. But sometimes, I do wonder whether as friends, I should do my part in contacting her. Or is it my pride that is pulling me back for some reason. I remembered she once mentioned that unlike her other friends, I don't give her the feeling that I need to be in some ways " taken care off" or should I put it, worried about...because she feels that I don't usually bother her with things and stuff...Oks fine, I feel neglected. lolz...told you all before I need attention de...lolz

Somehow, I can visualise her saying " I also hardly got time for other friends"....lol...It kinda sucks to think that work and a difference in surroundings can cause some friends to be less involve in your life and it kinda sucks to sometimes think why the reason your close friend don't contact you. Is it because they are really bz? Or is it because of some insecurities?...Asymmetric Information again..ha...my favourite word.

To my other friends out there, I also need your attention ah...ROFL...seriously sounds like some kind of attention seeking whore...lolz...maybe like a certain hilton..haha

Updates

Oks its been some time since I last blog. Let me see about 15 days? which is 2 weeks liao..haha and pig complain that I never blog like in ages liao...haha. Time flies as usual during the holidays, went to Malacca recently over the weekend, first time work till late in office. Who says gov staff ends at 5 de...lol..i stay till 7 and I am only a temp staff for goodness sake.

Last week was kinda a shiong week since i mostly work till 7 and got an outing after work, watch x men lo...really an epic show should go and watch for those who haven't. Then on the way home with tee yan, zhenni msg me some seriously suicidal msg, I ask ty whether is it really tht bad...lol..dunno why I ask him that as well..as if he knows her like that. Maybe I just want to justify myself to go down to her place. Bluff her and said that I was at dhoby and able to reach her place in 10 mins, actly I was at bishan..took a cab down. And if she is similar to me, than usually when we are very rational in normal sense, we will be really irrational if things happens in our own lives. So I thought I should be there to balance things and be the rational side of things lo. Stayed till 2 am, got to cab back as well...lolz...but in any case, at least she was feeling better....the sms we exchanged prior meeting up was rather epic..haha.

She said she not sure she can leave the hse a not, than she was going on abt her parents fight and stuff and how her family sort of neglected her and the family quarrelling and stuff...I told her to just walk out and tell her parents that I am downstairs and anything she will be back. Cuz I think she needs some cooling time. Got half the mind to go up and drag her down..haha..but stop myself as its other people's family biz..so not very nice to cha shou. Thats one epic day lo....or should I say night..haha

Analysis Paralysis

I chanced upon this term while reading a book last week. So was just reading about the definition on it. It happens when one over-analyze a situation , so that no decision is ever made thus paralyzing the outcome. I think I am guilty of such paralysis a lot of times, when I start to think of all possible outcomes that eventually, I do not know which one to choose and ends up not doing anything. I like a particular story I read while searching the definition.


Its an Aesop's Fable, where the fox boasts hundred ways of escaping whereas the cat only has one. So when the hounds came hunting, the cat climbed the tree while the fox was thinking what sort of method should he used. Needless to say, the fox was killed. Moral of the story is " Better to have one safe way rather than a hundred which you cannot reckon."


So are you guilty of analysis paralysis as well?

Dramas and Reality

Alrighty. here is another post for you peeps...haha. Just completed Secret Garden( korean drama) today.=) Its really not bad, quite a ride lo...Funny, then Sad and Funny again eventually kind of a happy ending. So its not bad at all. Koreans are really the king of romance and dramatic shows sia, always extreme de...lolz.

Was just thinking about the correlation between dramas and reality. Because, well there had been people that commented that dramas don't really reflect reality, because how many times will you actually see a rich kid getting along with a poor person and stuff like that. Well, to me I think drama though shows the extreme scenarios of life but the underlying emotions and scenes kind of depicts reality as well. But of course, it could be the dramas that causes society to react in such a manner as well or the other way round. Haha...its just another chicken and egg question=P

I know of friends' lives that had always been dramatic, ever since I knew them, its just somehow seems that they are always in some kind of a drama, be it are they the lead or the supporting casts. In my own life, i also seems to have some kind of drama as well in the past. And maybe thats why I can relate a lot to such shows, well, it might be due to the same feelings that I had as well. But, such pure and innocent emotions yet destructive and all, can they survive in this world? Is the world a kind of society that is reflected in the drama? Where somehow the cast can totally focus on a relationship and don't bother about any other commitments in life? Maybe. Maybe not.

In my case, I don't really know whether its a first love thingy or not, but those feelings like giving up everything for a person,thinking abt tht someone is happy and well, putting her first before everything else, protecting her even at the expense of myself etc etc, I have been through it...is that true love? Maybe it is...its pretty amazing sometimes when i think back, and thought that..wow..I am like that male lead..and yet I don't really watch romance shows in the past...cool that I even went through all that. haha. Now while typing all of this, I can somehow feel those feelings bit by bit, the happy n the sad bits. I think such shows always bring the past up hur...haha...but now its different.

Because of my stand n perception are different as compared to then. I can connect with such feelings again but I can't feel the strength in them now. Unlike the dramas normally, I don't really have an ending that I had hoped. However, because of this "drama", my life changed drastically, and it allowed me to meet so many people that I would have not met and discover. Angels like a particular animal, my good old army mates, secondary school mates that I don't really communicate much and many other individuals who had listened to me in some way or another. Gomawo~

Alice: Will You tell me which way I should go?
Cheshire Cat: It depends on which way you want to go.
Alice: I don't really care where I go.
Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn't matter which way you go.
Alice: I want to arrive at some place.
Cheshire Cat: You have to end up at some place, if you walk long enough, that is.

I think sometimes fate or life or whatsoever, rather interesting to note is that she will put a veil across our eyes and in the end, create a false reality. Interestingly, this veil always seems to be the same kind always. It flutters for awhile, disappear for some time, came back, disappear and reappear. Rather irritating if u ask me. Maybe its that time of the season...or maybe I have just realise that maybe I am not truly the master of thyself...*shrugs*

Its always seems to be ard u that I say things without consideration, without a care and cautious thought. It always seems that I show my unhappiness even to u. However our skirmishes are far too little, I don't understand you. I don't even take much notice of you, so why...tell me why are u always appearing in my mind every now and again as a veil that confuse my reality with fiction?