2nd Upper Class Honours

BSc Economics & Finance: Second Class Honours (Upper Division)

Thats what was shown on the results page when I log in to see my results. My grades were not fantastic this year. Actually, I think it was the worse in all the 3 years. But, I managed to get the job done. I got my 2nd Upper grades, so that all it matters. This year threw up some surprises...MSM was my 2nd lowest along with POA which was equally surprising...but luckily monec saved me. Actually, I think it was the 1st 2 years that help me...so its truly the foundations that were the important of them all. 

But this also truly marks the end of my study life. Well, of course, we would never stop learning and studying, but as for the traditional study route, this is the final journey. I started with an aim to get 1st class, but I ended up with a 2nd upper, one grade lower den what I wanted. But, I think it was a great journey and as cliche as it sounds. It was never about the end, its the journey. I had learnt a lot of stuff and expose to various theories, definitely less than those who had internships and all, but I am glad I learnt the stuff that interest me. And not whatsoever engineer or maths theories which bored the hell out of me. 

It has been a not bad journey. met friends, met teachers and learn new stuffs along the way. Knew where was my limit, had mental breakdown..planning..focus..etc 

People ask me why wasn't I very happy when I saw my grades. I guess its kinda of expected? Or maybe to me its just a grade and not like I spend my whole life studying for it . Neither is it so important to me that it actually dictates my life, I guess. 

But, it is and now truly over. Onwards to the next chapter of life. Life still goes on. 

5 Years in the making

Today went out to meet up with Seong Hoon,Bryan and Soks. Essentially, they are my JC friends, whom I am not say very close to. Well except for Seong, cuz we were secondary school classmates but we kinda drifted apart in JC. Initially,thought it will be kinda weird but actually it turn up to be quite an interesting session. 

I am happy that Seong finally found his aim in life and his happiness, cuz knew he went astray back in JC and all, then felt that as a friend, I never managed to help him all. But, this time round I found that he has an aura of steadiness and he knew what he wants in life. Looking at his body language and eye contact and speech, does show a lot. At the same time, it kinda remind me to grow up in a certain way. Somehow, it forces me to be calm and steady my ship as well. Start to search and plan what I am actually aiming for in life. 

Its like for some reason, I got in touch with my old mature self. The self that won't waver and believe that I can survive, the self that I know I am able to get thru this...the self where I feel a steady presence. We were talking about his many girlfriends who have in some way shaped and influence him into the man he is today. I felt that besides girlfriends, but anyone who happened to cross my path, all have at least some form of influence on my life. Some big, some small..but all have an impact. Like this meeting, it kinda of bring out my "old" self again 

Realised that soks became a whole lot quieter as compared to the past. Wonder she is tired or well maybe she have grown up. Also noticed that she seems more pessimistic as compared to the past self, wonder whether life have actually dealt her some shocks...but the old soks still seem to be still there, once in a while it surfaces.

But time really flies, 5 years since we left JC, 5 years since we have any HTHT with each other.  Hopefully, its a start to many such sessions. 

Natural

Had a date with Adeline on Sunday. She was late as usual, went to Food for Thought for an all day breakfast meal. Order too much in my opinion, got to keep a mental note that she eats little. I would say its pretty affordable as compared to Wild Honey, and their pancake with cream was surprisingly not bad. Warning! The portions are huge..haha. But I would say its pretty decent. 

We went to the Queen's Street branch, abit kinda small and outside there is a circular table tennis table where some kids started playing table tennis. Grabbed a bat and had a game with her, she totally cui with sports...haha...Got to challenged her to a game so that I can know her cca in secondary school which is chinese drama. Can see that she is really awkward with sports. 

Since our theme of the day was being a tourist( its smthg I came out with), but she was kinda tired with sleeping at 5am the day before, brought her to Ion to do window shopping. But she was seriously stoned and tired, den decides to sit at the 4th floor and just nua till 5.30pm. Asked her random questions, cuz I dont really like quiet sessions...well unless you are someone that I am very comfortable with like Sam or Pig or TH and some others. Grabbed her handphone... and gave her mine instead and I kept pushing her limit when she wants hers back. I dont really like when people I go out with, or rather to be specific, girls that I am interested with , starts to whip out their phones and whatsapp or sms away. I think this part stems from the past whenever sam would also do the same. Dunno..just dont feel good about it. 

Of course, after awhile, I return hers, certain things cannot push too far de. After that, brought her to Gardens by the Bay. Was told by her that I was kinda childish and all. Frankly, I am a bit surprised because most people dont really say that, but maybe innately I am and that I always suppressed it. It may also be because I am more positive now as compared to the past so I am not so constrained nor quiet anymore. But still, I was surprised. She said she prefer mature guys when I asked her so what kind she likes. A fleeting thought did pop in my mind about changing myself, but den I realised I couldn't. Well I mean, I am who I am now, if you think that I am childish and you can't accept me, den so be it. I might try to cut down on the nonsense though...but I think things will be too dull liao...haha. 

 My fav.inception style shot..haha

 Didn't really stayed to catch the lighting performance at 7.45pm. I was trying to read whether she was feeling too hot and sianz or not..but decided to just skip it and go and catch dinner. Walked to MBS but decided nothing to eat there so went to Raffles Place to grab ramen there instead. Was quite oks, still prefer Santouka but I would say the soup base was good. 

On the bright side, she allowed me to take pics of her, but in the end, I kept deleting them due to them failing her QC standards. She only say I can keep one only, but I kept another one that I took secretly at FFT..haha...ain't gonna delete them. =P

There were some improvements over the months though I still feel that I still got my work cut out, but I will carry on but still keeping a realistic mind. =)

Awakening Of the Senses and the Soul

14days in South Korea. 8 Days in Seoul, 4 Days in Jeju Island, 2 Days in Busan. In a way, its a first for me in many ways. Travelling with Jianyang, travelling with a totally random strangers, zip-lining stunts and roaming the streets of Myeong-Dong on my own, horse riding and many other firsts.

Initally,it was kinda difficult, cuz JY and me got 2 very different travelling styles. I don't mind the long distances and crowds, but he will be bothered by it. I am oks with the people there, maybe cuz I don't really care whether people are crude or lack of manners, in the beginning, he needed some time in getting use to it. Went to many places in Seoul, visited places that tour buses won't bring you to in Seoul. Able to finally use some korean that was learnt, got used to their way of ordering stuff in restaurants and their cuisine there. Maybe if I am travelling on my own, I would spend more time at certain places...but then again, alone is too boring..ha. Should go along with Sam next time, must go with pretty similar character de...lol.

Unlike Zhenni, I didn't really have much alone time, which I would like when I am travelling, like finding a nice cafe and sit down and just lost in my thoughts. Of course, this can be done in Singapore as well...but I figured overseas will be a totally different feeling. Going at your own pace and all, though of course the Singaporean in me, will feel that we need to be efficient and that must make full use of whatever available time is for us. The notion of not wanting to miss anything out.

I would say 8 days in Seoul would be too long of time, because Korea offers more stuff I guess, but then again there will always be places waiting to be found. To me, 5 days would be just nice. Its like Taipei in Taiwan, a few days will be alright. Weather in Korea was UBER HOT, make me more appreciative of Singapore Weather...with the rain and wind...haha. Got a nice healthy tan, though I know I will lose it within a few days. Summer sucks..haha.

I would say Jeju was awesome, though it was kinda rush in a way. Jeju really have awesome scenery and feels more like Hawaii or smthg, with its many peaks and that it was an island that was formed by a volcanic eruption, hence the many volcanic rocks around the area. Sunsets are always beautiful in that place, away from the bustling of modern cities like Seoul and Busan. Its a great place to retire and chill, feel and absorb the natural energies of those places. I guess camping at such places will be awesome and can see the stars in the sky as well, away from the light pollution in cities.

Food was awesome if you peeps are ok with the korean cuisine, to me I kinda like it though I can't stand it if its too spicy, but love their kimbab, best are those authentic street food that can be found in any parts of korea. Besides, if you are in seoul, no worries, there are tons of international cuisines that can be found there. As evident by the presence of Krispy Kreme donuts.

And Seoul is not a difficult place to travel free and easy as contrary to popular belief, seoul-lites are quite ok with chinese and japanese, though english is still some way off, but they do understand. Especially the younger generations. Besides, there are tourist guides (wearing red) at most tourist areas. If not, grab a map and start pointing at places...haha.

Pictures can be found on facebook..though I havent upload the Jeju ones because most of the more interesting ones with my other friends cameras. So got to wait for them to upload first..lolz

First Ever ICT

The past week I was back in camp for my very first reservist training. Wont really go too deep into the details here, just in case, I got too excited and say things that are by right confidential. But, overall, I would say it was a good break in my life though technically, I am already supposed to be in a break. Haha. We spent most of the week in camp whereas by right for low-key we should be stay out. We complained and whine as usual...lolz..but was happy that 14 out of our 20 platoon guys are back. And I am close to all of them, so it was really nice. And like what James said, it seems that we never really ORD back at 2008. The place, the food the environment are still the same. We still sleep late and chat and joked with each other till late. Army being army,there are a lot of waiting time, so we did chat about quite a couple of things. Pranked benny and samuel as per usual, we ate at canteen...Being NSmen, really is kinda different, dont have to march around, can go where and when we like. But of course, being more "responsible" now, we will still inform our commanders where we go. I don't even call the specs Sargent anymore, call them by their names only. Lucky for us, we got back our specs as whom have been with us for a significant amount of  time, so its really been a big reunion for us. I didn't managed to get back my team comdr, but the rest are quite good as well. So, I am not complaining.

During our drills and trainings, we still help each other about, take jabs at each other, and the few who are always targeted by us bullies. Really, its great to be back in those times again, of course, we still dont know what will happen when we got married or when we start having working commitments, but for the present or least the next 2 years, I think we will still be able to meet up regularly.Interestingly, benny is also taking CFA, so another person to study with. I know a lot of people actually don't really like ICT, of course, there is the problem of work and other commitments etc, but if taking out these considerations, I do know some still dont like going back to army. For me, I kinda look forward to it ,though not for the trainings that is..haha

Anws,below is my friend's blog which I feel kinda summed up actually how I feel.
http://seelahtalksomuch.tumblr.com/post/27121397774/being-different

The Starbucks Effect

Hanging out at a starbucks and people watching, reading and planning a little for grad trip is kinda nice. Though of course, if one is feeling sleepy, the bed is sorely missed here. And on another side note, money flying out of the wallet is also another main concern. A starbucks cafe is kinda like a mish mash of various human beings. We have the ever mugging students, the small group meeting of 3 to discuss of business or gossips. The chit chat of 2 persons and the ever solo reader of books and the use of laptops.

Seems that starbucks have in a manner became the defacto place where the notion of exchanging ideas and the flow of ideas to be at. Its a little different from the feeling that one gets from those boutique cafes which serves unique and savoury coffee, the long preparation of exotic coffee beans where the customer sits back and enjoy the taste of the coffee and starts to zone out into his own world. Where he looks out of the cafe and be contented with watching the crowds roll by like the clouds in the sky.

And being in this place also kind of like put one in an introspective mood. Now at the cross-roads of life, the period where one transits from a student to a worker in the society. Of course, a lot of wonderful and naive thoughts came into the mind. Maybe I should write a book, be an awesome analyst, open a business, contribute to society in one way or another. Then reality always comes crashing down, like when the dream fails in the movie, Inception.

One kinda starts to wonder what are we actually supposed to do in this kind of situation. Like what jobs should I get?, do I want to get a job? should I be a brat and spend away money travelling? Should I go back to my investment roots? trading roots? sign on army? Like what Yu Dan in her "confucius from the heart" book wrote, the modern day humans have too much choices, too much decisions to make thats bring in the dilemmas in life. Its quite the irony isn't it? With greater choices, we have more varieties to choose from. On the other hand, too many choices, causes us with a headache on what choices to make. Similarly, here is a problem that I am also facing.

Of course, another point to note is that I may have sunk into the depths of laziness. Or what we would have termed it as the comfort zone. Life is smooth, no financial issues to seriously ponder about, have a steady flow of income albeit a small sum, have a roof over my head. The only major problem is a girl, but then again, its not really a problem because r/s issues are a part of life. As of now, money is not a major driving force in my life, but then again, nothing is really a driving force in my life now. A r/s use to be a major one before but now due to age/experience/whatsoever, its not that important now. And from what I been through before, it CANNOT be a major driving force in life. And so we are back at the proverbial question that is always asked by people: "WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE?'

Wrong Msg

Went to wait for adeline cuz she OT from work today. Wanted to bring her out to eat, cuz she dont usually eat when she OTs. But she said that her mum cooked already, and that she dont feel like eating out. So i sent her home. Along the way back home, she whatsapp me something that meant for someone else. Said she felt bad for not following me out to eat and having me just send her home. Den she realised her mistake and asked whether she was bad in doing so. Told her not her fault, since I wanted to see her, so technically its really not her fault.

To tell you the truth, initially I was kinda happy for the reason that finally I made an impact that she talks about me to someone. But later on, den again I thought that feeling bad could also means " not interested in you, but you do all these kind of things for me, but i m feeling bad cuz i am unable to reciprocate it" kind of thinking. On the bright note, I kinda know where I stands now. Though it seems that it is still a huge distance from my desired goal. All along maybe I was trying too hard and try to accelerate things. I guess its time to slow it down a little and try to learn abit more about her and try to get her to open herself to me.

For some reason, I dont really want to just give up, even though after some female advice, and some other thinkings, things does seems pretty bleak. But, maybe I am in berserker mode or something, but until she really wants me to stop or if she reject me in the face, I will just soak up anything she throws at me and I will just keep trying. It might have been the exams spillover effect where I dont want to just give up and I keep ploughing through, seriously, I dont really know how all this will turn up.

Ytd, I was in a moody mood cuz was thinking about this situation. I was afraid that if I were to keep on doing this, I will re-enter the phase where I like someone so much that I ended up in self denial over things and eventually it cause me immense hurt and pain. I am afraid that if I were to whole heartedly put my heart out there, eventually it gonna be broken again. But the inner me, keeps telling me to press on. I thought of a lot of things, the quotes, phrases I have read over time. I rmbr something like "unless you put your heart and soul into something, things will never happen the way you want it to." and "even if the expedition fails, at least you tried and you have the knowledge that its not gonna happen, rather than living with the unknown result"...this kinds of stuff.

So today, kinda woke up and decided to make a commitment to this cause. Which is until the day I am so tired by it or she rejects me in the face, I am still going to try and keep trying. But of course, taking into consideration of the situation lah, if she finds me irritating , den gotta stop. I know very well that things may not turn up as I would expect and there is a chance I am gonna be emo for some time, but like I said, I don't feel like letting go this easily. But then again there maybe another one comes along and got me interested...lolz