For the past 2 years, this fren of mine never talk to me on msn for more than an hour and that mostly we tok abt its on work and homework lor...lol...so when I was asking her about SMU application, she told me the stuff that I need to know and plus smthg extra lor
She told me about someone whom confess to her and that she rejected him and that she felt really bad lor...lol...didnt really expect that from her...but anw better now clear everything rather than lead him on lor...lol...and well the guy..let says he is quite prominent in school lor and its quite interesting to hear certain stuffs from him lor...haha yeah but was great to be able to help someone lor..and maybe with my experience, i can also share some views and at least i am able to make her feel better lor...maybe sam was right after all, sometimes in life, u dont have to focus all ur love and concern on a single person...why not use this and help others?..also share this love and concern with others whom needs it lor...
Hah..but of coz, it is different from being able to share ur love and concern with that special someone lor...eh..how to say...its really different lor...nowadays I began to care for my frenz more often and try to help them in wadever way I can lor...and when they come to me with their problems, especially relationships one, which is usually very tricky....i try to help them into finding their own answer lor...but everytime i help them, i will always have flashbacks about the past and the sadness behinds it...and all the bitterness that comes to it. Then the question of why must I go thru all this ?...i was juz trying to love someone..do i really deserved all this at all...or is it juz because its my fault all this while or fate is trying to play with me...so yeah lor...its rather sianz for me lor. But at least i am able to help them to a certain extent lor...
Sometimes i often wonder how come it seems to me that our roles have changed drastically..and now i am sometimes living with a pain that was similarly to hers in the past..wth...lol...maybe coz our mindsets were the same at the point of time lor. Ppl around me kept telling me to move forward and let go of the past...similarly a movie also told me that...lol...but...still..i occasionally feels the emptiness, the aimless part of myself in life....but anw think all this will come to an end de lah...i hope=)
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