Back to last year...

Recently, I have been rather emo. and I still have the cheek to call other's people blog emo..lol...the pot calling the kettle black...hahahaha.*=P kel's blog lor*....haha now its mine. Anyways, today finally cleared all my course requirements liao, so now I can wait for my military class 3 license...hehe...next stop is commercial class 3.


Almost everyday, I have been waking up and going to camp and as usual will passed by those few places. And I will always stop to think "She won't be here anymore, no use going past these places and wondering whether she is there"...For the next few days ever since last Monday, I always woke up and tell myself how many days is left only and that she is leaving already. When I cannot get the present that I wanted for her, I was so stressed and depressed that in a way ,I juz stoned at my hse the playground there. It seems that I was so into the whole "She is leaving and will never be back, How is she going to cope there?"....all these mentality that crippled me lor. It has been a very long time ever since I had been thinking about her almost every single day liao...a kinda super long loh.


Sometimes I asked myself, how come am I feeling all these emotions again..* such stuff like worry, missing someone, wanting to give her a hug and tell her not to worry, want to see her*...u know all these emotions that usually associate with liking someone or rather loving someone. Then I realized that its nothing wrong in feeling all these emotions and no, it doesnt really mean that I still treat her as someone I love. Its because she is that special friend in my life and that after last year, I treasured her a lot and cared a lot for her...as well as that because someone that always some how able to make me feel better regardless of any problems is going away.


In the end, I bought quite a number of things for her lor.... as I dun really know wad to get for her. Eventually, followed zhenni's advice(s) lor....just whacked everything lor. I think I most probably going to send her off, I don't really know what to expect, cause last time at such a situation...I see people crying especially my uncle(s) and grandparents. It was so heart-wrenching sia....and if it so suppose to be the same like that, I dont know how to face it sia....I might just totally break down. Seriously, I dont want that to happen...but see how bah...At least now I dont feel so emo liao...haha


Somehow , I always find myself going thru various emotions then in the end, its juz nothing lor...machiam go thru a roller coaster ride then it will just go back to square one. I think this shows that I truly think too much as well as worry so much. Hah...reminds me that I everytime say zhenni lor...haha...