Updates

Well well I guess I havent really been able to update in recent times ah...haha..its time to do so le...Hmm wonder where to start man? 0.O...Well, got rejected again by NTU for engineering...hmm think most probably going to appeal lor but need to get the relevant stuffs ready...haiz...oh and I am going to enforcement next week le...so change department again, haha...this will be my 3rd department le...wow...lolz...and recently the bball khakis and me have been planning a taiwan trip somewhere in early july...hopefully everything will work out and we can finally go on our trip overseas...initially wanted thailand( due to the political unrest it was changed) , then KL ( sianz kenna H1N1) now taiwan...heard also got H1N1 there but ren was like its now or never...so now we are setting the wheels in motion le. Think ren is going to do the booking liao...speaking of which I gotta call jet-star about whether can get the add. 20kg add on luggage like later and not now...hmm...better remember sia=X.

Regrets?

Hmm...I had been chasing the local uni. dream since I got my results back in 2007, had I maybe think it through better and all, I maybe won't be suffering everything now and worring about $$ issues. But, then I would never have foresee this and at that point of time I thought:"hey, I still have 3 years , so why not just try?"...obviously its a wrong move aint ? now the results are getting harder and the peeps here are like godly smart to the max...Whats an A?? I think at that point of time, I might be swayed by my emotions and all...well...I mean who knows what on earth was going on in my head at that point of time. But, with the knowledge and wadever little wisdom I have at that point of time, its my decision, I got to live with it right? I mean...there is no one else who can make a decision for you right? So maybe from this experience here, there are 2 things to take from here bah, 1) Even if there are other chances, take it the moment it comes to you because u will never know when the next one will come. 2) Don't be swayed by emotions, try to see it with an open mind and the whole picture.

Chasing after the carrot

Think recently, I think friends or those close to me, knows that I am quite rather hard up for cash and $$. Of course, the taiwan trip has a role to play in it as well, but more importantly its my studies, in SIM and stuff...my parents had been saying about lack of funds, fear of $$ not enough for my Sis to maybe go on overseas programmes( as she cant get any scholarships). So to me, $$ is a very huge problem lor...I cannot imagine that one day I am actively cheonging after $$, the very thing in this world that I dont want to be bothered by it, the thing that I am so afraid of falling into the never-ending cycle of being a donkey. Oks, now I must explain myself here, if not people like Sam always says I am being too metaphorical again. there is a saying that goes " Just hang a carrot in front of the donkey, and it will keep moving as it wants to eat it, but we all know it will never or the total amount of hard work just for a carrot?!!!!. Similarly, thats what I see in people of society, I am sure many of people out there knew this, but either they already passed the point where they had the chance to turn around and grab the stick from the rider or their eyes is forever on the carrot. And to me, thats the whole point.

Maybe an incident in the past, had convinced me that hard work is never enough to get hold of something, there are other factors as well in obtaining the goal/aim. Its working hard but smart...and folks, thats the crucial word: Smart. So far, trying to work on weekends as well, I am tired but hey some money got to be earned man.

Oks so far, it seems that I had been complaining all this while...haha...but I know of people who seems to be alright working like 7 days a week and all, so maybe its the atitude that comes with it as well...=).

On my fb status, i put this: " thinks that as one grows up, commitments and expectations of one's life also increases. It is directly proportional." I think its the same to everyone out there, for me I def. missed the life of not bothering about much stuff, just enjoy and play and be happy. 3 words. now its work, money, university, long term goal, future, family. 6 words and it could be more!. Also now having passed 21, I think that life is going to move very fast from now on, my older perm staff at IRAS also said that. I def. concur with that.

Pressure Cooker

But just I was just randomly thinking to myself, have I been pressurising myself too much? I mean I am presently in this situation but there is still a way. Have I been too stubborn? Have I been putting a lot of pressure of myself? So much that if Idont achieve this, I fail.haha...its all in the mindset I think. I more or less have an idea, how I want to go on with life, so I have been using pressure and my current situation to push myself. To force myself to study accounting, to work more, to avoid taking a bank loan and stuff. However, in my opinion, its never a good thing to push oneself due to negatives like that. It got to be a positive thing, it should be a happy thing, the interest in it, then one could excel, find the motivation to learn more , to ask more.

Grass is always greener over the other side

yesterday, ET suddenly brought this up.

ET: " I think Single is much better"
me: " haha...why leh? u missed single ah?"
me: " ren toh si fan jian de" chuckles

This is not the 1st time I have heard this already, I am sure many of you out there also had heard this. I also always wished to get attached, I mean like duh..whodont ? I soon realised that both sides got their pros/cons. I mean I can always list down the pros of being attached but I will def. missed out the conslah. And those people like ET out there, they will say the pros of being single and missed out the cons. Its very normal human nature don't u all think? haha. Similarly, some friends and me recently says...wah...army better, dont need to bother much and stuff..but in the past, its F***, KNN, CB....screw PS, stupid OC or stupid duties....blah blah...like I showed before, we tend to tilt to the good side and ignore the negative sides lor. haha...I dont know how to solve this kind of thinking, I am not a psychologist or whatsoever, maybe we should all understand this, there is always two sides to a coin.

Well, folks I think I should end here...its been a long long entry...haha with different segments. Just a point to note, all that i said is just my thinking/opinion lor...so maybe u all out there may have your own. =D...haha...Its just that I have been rather lots of thinking in my mind and now I just need to de-frag them so that I can think better...hoho...

time passes like the wind, waiting for no man.