"Romantic Farmer"

Recently, I realised that ernest have been rather close to this particular NPCC gal named Veena. Lolz...oks I got to admit...there was a bit of stalking involved( cuz I was using his account and playing CS and veena offline msg him)..so then I saw a bit of their conversation. lol...wonder there is anything between them...haha...

I read a friend's fb msg recently on love. She wrote: " Is Love Over-rated?". It is kinda thought provoking because well of cuz of the current status I am in. And was just going through the past, and the feelings of some loneliness and a bit of lousy-ness is it...No matter how much I want to just deny it, but I definitely feel like kinda sianz by it...lolz...maybe just giving up on such things would be a good idea?...haha

Wadsoever lah, anyways I got to 'woo' after my studies and to learn more about building up my assets column and on investing. Maybe 'love is over-rated' after all, given our media and social pressures around us...

And now at 11.55pm at night, ernest is again singing while listening on his ipod. I need my earphones.=.=

"I am a romantic farmer, always believing in what I sowed, but I will never reaped what I sowed" by Tai he in 珠光寶氣

Asymmetric Information and Ego

Today at work, there is this uncle who is a bit limping came in and demand to see a supervisor called Mr Lim. I asked him whats the problem and does he know the full name( in short: more info. about this Mr Lim). Then me and a perm staff ran a thorough check with him and found there ain't anything round. No compliance case. No Audit case. Nothing at all. The only thing he has to do is just to file his income tax for YA 2010. Apparently, we told him to wait for us to check it out, even the audit guy came down...then he started shouting saying that he want to see this Mr Lim, and how on earth are we going to find him, when we dont even know who and what is the problem. Even in the activities section, got no record or whatsoever. Then my PS and the audit guy handle le...I decided to siam a bit and took another TP. Then somehow, the TP just suddenly disappear, apparently he went to pick his son from school or something. And overall, the whole day wasn't really that smooth sailing because a lot of CT issues and I think I fumble a lot today...

On the way back, the word 'Asymmetric Information' pops up in my mind. I think because we have more information(with the system and our knowledge) and the uncle(with not much knowledge and should I say logic) does not have much information. Hence, it poses a problem because the uncle at times don't understand what we are telling him hence we cannot get our point across. Furthurmore, he does not know anything about this Mr Lim and so do we...again a lack of information.

Now, the other word 'Ego'. I think I don't need to put a link to this definition, think you guys should know. Somehow, I noticed this trend in people, while working in customer service for almost a year. I realise that people will not admit they are wrong, be it from benign to the extreme cases. It might be because of the 'Customer is always right' slogan being etched in all our minds, it might be due to public's view that Government is able to solve everything( of course thats why we elect them, to represent us, to solve issues that as individuals we cannot solve)...but I would like to highlight this: the government is also run by humans. And being human, there is always a limitations to things we do. As I was saying about Ego, people don't admit they might be wrong even though facts are laid down in front of them, and then they got all angry when things don't go their way( talk about showing childish tantrums).

If society could ever take a step back, to re-evaluate themselves, to accept the notion that as individuals, they could be wrong(provided that the info is provided on the table), I think maybe things could be done at a more efficient way and peaceful way. However, I think this is rather impossible. Why? Because this problem has been embedded from the elites all the way to the lower class of human society. From parents to children and it just goes on. I know its difficult, I think as Humans, all these are unavoidable and I will also react like this. But, in some cases, if we can just take a more objective view, maybe you will find problems become easier to solve and your blood pressure won't be rising so much.

Regarding information-wise, I think its better if we learn and understand some terms and conditions of whatever important to us. Issues like money, where to many of us, it is really important. To at least have some form of basic knowledge and things can be easier and quicker solve and one will know whether you are being scam or the customer service officer knows their stuff( I sometimes got pawn by such people, but they do have a point there, so I m willing to be silenced).

Weird Weather?O.0

Violent Storms in Perth( Not so sunny anymore)

Wow. Look at the size of the hail-stones>.<

Recently, I was watching CNA news about the violent storms that Western Australia is having.The above are some pictures about one of the largest storms to hit the west coast city of Perth. And to think that Perth is suppose to be rather hot, just like Singapore(Summer whole year>.<)...And if one follows the weather from Down Under often, one will realise that Australia always suffer from drought and stuffs like that. However, in recent months, there had been 2 major hail-storms happening in Melbourne and Perth. It could be due to the upcoming winter in June, which is causing the rain-water in the atmosphere to freeze and drop. From what I know, it will take an awful lot of water for hail stones of those size^^^ to develop. 

Hmm...maybe mother nature is trying to balance the climate conditions in Australia, because there had been too long a drought already? However, it could also mean global warming, the increase rain could be due to the southern seas heating up and hence causing an increase in rain on the coastal areas. 

Of course, there might be an issue of other natural factors as well that may have contribute to these phenomenons.( Well I am not a geography student=P)...but apparently, the weather is changing and climate conditions is showing odd patterns. Are we too late in remedying the problem caused by us?

BLT

After watching a short portion of my London professor giving a lecture after the mock exams back in 2009, I seriously realise how far behind I am in my economics and I am ABSOLUTELY no where near his expectations of the kind of answers that he want from us. At best, with my current level, I can only get a pass...I remembered what zhenni had told me about reading the SG only instead of relying on notes and just now I just browse through the SG and I realise it looks kinda scary...damn...hmm cannot bear to think what about PBF le...but looks like I definitely got my work cut out for econs liao. I think I am gonna stay off maths for a while as that is my only so far REALLY confident subject of getting reasonably good grades but not 1st class grades yet. Like what Prof Witztum had said " Time is an essence". Looks like I got a ton of stuff to do...hmm I think I got to conquer macro econs, then at least have 40% to 50% guaranteed le...micro I will just do my best lor...

Whoever up there, do grant me the courage and the strength and the faith in that I am able to finish and obtain sufficient knowledge to do well for my modules sia...I have no time to spend on worries anymore... back to BMT folks...oops I mean BLT( basic learning training)

Thoughts of a Wanderer

Well took the last 3 days off( aka not touching my studies at all)...apparently I took too long a time le, not so motivated unlike the prelims period. However, I would say that monday and tuesday were good time off. Monday spent the day cleaning a bit of my house, then just nua the afternoon...lying on bed..man total waste of time sia...Tuesday also roughly the same, haha but restarted on NS carbon game and re-read Rich Dad Poor Dad again. Overall, these 2 days...I just sort of wander around(mentally)...

Actually after 2 days, I sort of feel a bit lost again...like lacking something in life. Wonder is it because prelims over le, nothing to look forward too...or the thought of staying at home n mugging...another monotone life that scares me....hmm...I think deep down, its not that I don't want to study, its the emotions that is stopping me from doing so...laziness...and all and then I will find the need to look for a resolve in the hope that my resolve will be strong enough to pull me through. Its all about putting your foot down on these emotions and have some belief in whatever one is doing bah. Think I need emotion management.

Ytd, happened to see Pig's birthday card to me last year on my 21st. Realise that she had put a lot of effort into the card(though its small but got a lot of cow stickers)...felt really happy to have her as a close friend/ confidante...So Pig, A VERY BIG THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A NICE ANIMAL=)...lol

Nodame Cantabile

Yesterday, went to watch the above movie with the otaku group and kenneth. Its actually based on an anime and manga, initially I thought it might become another boys over flower because if it follows the drama...then its ultimate GG. But luckily its not, and there is a part two as well...so at least there ain't much 'if u never watch the live drama, u lose out' moments. I like this part where the male lead was going on about 2 philosophers had said that everything encompasses the universe including music. And at the moment, I had a sudden revelation...I understood this phrase ' The world represents everything, Everything represents the world'. Because in everything that we know...maths to buildings to vehicles, in everything there is this common  laws, a lot of laws or theories that we known...'cause and effect' , ' perseverance, etc etc. So actually there isn't really a fixed law in the universe, there is no fixed thing in anything. We are just something that represents the whole universe, so are the insects and plants. Its like we are a music score, we are all part melody, a bad person may be a particular note, a good person may be another kind of note. Actually when I think about it, it sort of made me feel kinda small...that actually we are all just another species in this vast universe, another note in a particular melody. the melody of the universe. Everything is kinda of  a contradiction, this is so because as humans, we always want to have a base, a basis for us to identify ourselves with, such that we end up as another being, someone that is fake...be it u are an ultra good guy or a cruel killer. We are shaped because of the situations which force us to undergo a very strong bombardment of emotions that we identified ourselves with it. So as notes, we have actually diverted from our original sounds, to another kind of sounds...is this wrong? are we going against the law? no one actually knows...but i think its because of our diversion, this is all part of the melody that is being played out...because as we all know, a melody or music is truly nice, when it is being put together it will sound really great. So when you think about it, we are all part of something and that for everything there is an underlying reason, but as for the reason, not every reason can be found. Maybe thats why those holy people can forgive people so easily and truly sincere in it, because they see it that its all part of the melody and that it was never fully their fault in being bad, but because of their emotions that changed them into being bad. On a macro note, it is also a part and parcel of the universe, the melody...

On a side note, although I realise all of these, but I am also just another note in this melody and I will also succumbed to my emotions and will be shaped by future situations as well...Btw if any of u who is reading this finds all these to be anything religious, or don't believe it, or find it too cheem...aiyah just take it with a pinch of salt...because this is just my view at a particular point of time.

Get out of my head!!!

Here is a short update on my bro, after a shouting scene with my mum in the room...don't know wad sort of 'destruction' happened there...but in any case, they sort of made up le...but well I don't really see the ultra closeness between them unlike the past. Maybe there is some form of awkwardness there bah*shrugs shoulders*

Recently, I found myself to be quite a magnet for worries, or rather panicky...I seriously don't understand why. Be it PBJ or be it my prelims and other stuffs as well. Haiz. This is getting real annoying. I know I have effectively screw up my prelims, and anws I was prepared for it to be screw up lor..but in some sense, at least now I have the urgency to mug le...However, the problem doesn't lies in the resolve, apparently it lies in the mental strength. For example, my finance module. I knew I had to memorise, and I knew that I have to constantly do essays/tutorials to reinforce it...but when i take up the notes, and saw the magnitude of content I need to know...its like ( i expect bukit timah hill...but when I look up, I saw mount kinabalu)...oh my god...then I totally cui le..and as we all know, when we cui aka give up, nothing really gets into ur head de. And then I will jump to watching discovery channel, sleep, gaming to take my mind off it...and in turn its a waste of time again. Its not like I hate the stuff that I am studying, but it seems that I keep having such worrisome thoughts knocking at the door of my mind.

In a spiritual book, these are called emotions which whatever worry that we have is furthur enhanced by our past, our failures. I think its these which cause one to give up, to just want to have a ' ok eugene, its enough' mentality...but but the crux here is its definitely not enough...but the lazy part of me is speaking out...damn...

I am having an internal battle with my hollow...

Morning thoughts

When one wake up in the morning, I think it's when one is at his most vulnerable and truthful. Because all the energy used to create barriers, to suppress emotions is not up yet.

It is also when one will be in a state of illusion, created by the inner emotions and negative thoughts are able to penetrate one's inner self. Like today morning.

I woke up to a notion that seems to shake my inner fears and I began to observe why some of my immediate reactions to things in such a way.

People says $1 3 tries to get the prize. Why not $1 3 tries to know why u can't get the prize.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Stress At 16

Recently, there had been a rather big fight( or should I say COLD WAR), between my mum and ernie. Well because in the not too distant past, Ernie had been rather quiet and always like got a lot to think about. And we all know that when Ernie is quiet, he got this ' qian bian' face...or should I say, like angry at anything that talks to him. So, he hardly ever talks to us, and his schedule is pretty fixed...campcraft till late, come back home, study till late and every 20 minutes go onto facebook to maintain his status in his games(mousehunt and ghost trapper and fish wrangler). So, well in consecutive days, he didn't really speak much to my mum. But, I think we all know that he is kinda stress out. So...on sunday i think,  my mum disturb him a bit like ' why dont talk to me?' and all those stuffs in a sa jiao way...then u can see that Ernie a bit piss off le...so although  I did join in the fun, I also stop. Then, he said this in a very aggressive tone: " Dont disturb me already, I only have one word in my mind...and thats Pissed, I am really quite piss off'...Of course, when I heard that, I immediately glared at him. I told him before that no matter what our parents do or say, even if its wrong, we shouldn't reply in such a manner. He shut up...and my mum continue her 'disturbance' ( sort of zi zao lor>.<)...then Ernie storm into the room...then my dad say my mum that people don't want to talk, then also shouldn't go and ka jio them lor. Later at night, my mum was like ' if he don't want to talk, then don't talk lor
'....and she also went over to tell Ernie that...Of course, Ernie was like WTF...well, when he told me about it lah...


So well, this cold war carried over as of now it will be 48 hours. Apparently, every morning mum will go over and wake ernest up, but yesterday and today, she didn't and ernest woke up late ytd though I today wake him up myself lor. Then, he never took out his water bottle for dad to refill, so I take out lor...and when mum saw it, she was like 'why should U help him, and u always say i spoil him'...'if he dont treat me with respect, then why should i bother with him'...in the end, I never refill the bottle, just put it there lor...anws overnight water wont die de lah...


The night before, Ernest in the first time in 5 days( I think) was talking to me more than 5 sentences. He was telling me about how his studies now seems to be dropping, the lack of time, his campcraft commitments, and he don't understand why he can forget about stuffs that he seems to be able to understand the week before. He felt that he had hit a breakwall and that he has no way around it, and he is worried about the 237 days left before the O levels.He told me that he is somewhat is a perfectionist with his work, like if he finds his essay too messy during exam/test, he will re-do the entire essay even if he is already on the right track.  


Actually, it sort of make me feel that 'Hey, least he is worried about his O lvls'...I was still enjoying my basketball time after school and secondary life, playing pranks on the teachers with the class=P. He keeps blaming on things like STM(short term memory) and he keep saying he can't change his study style which is to  rewrite notes again and again before the exams. I think he found that his style is wrong or rather should I put it as inefficient, given today schedule, but he kept on insisting that his method is right...well, because it works for him. I told him that there is no such thing as STM happening out of the blue, I think it was due to his own pressure or mentally tired thats why his brain is reacting in such a way. I told him, to observe the pros, he also told me how the pros, just come in and hack care anything and seem to score damn high. I told him, one of the reasons is that they are confident and thats why their brain can function well and everything...but of course, they might have a genuine cleverness around them...but I think we can make up for that with hard work. He told me that he want to study with his friends outside, as he can ask questions and he is away from the computer. I told him , that its quite difficult given his age now, as mum will not allow it and he also acknowledge it...I told him to maybe try to stay after school and study since that will solve his computer addiction. He said that there will be no one to help him, cuz no one stay in school de. And he finds that some of his teachers are incompetent( I have no comment on this as I dunno anything)...He is actually quite smart to look for his best friend in St gab to pass him some notes to help him in subjects which he find the teacher to be lousy.  Overall, I think that he is really stress out and that he also knew that without a good O levels, its like the end of the world( of cuz it aint lah)...somehow I feel that its all about time management and know whats important, and learn how to balance it. However, I think being young at that age, its kinda daunting to have to deal with all of these problems. 


And there is also my mum's cold war that is going on...thats why I was kinda sympathetic towards him. But on hindsight, ernest from young have speak in a some what rude manner to both my parents, even though actually he cares for them and all. He is really straightforward towards them, and scold my dad when things dont go his way and sometimes say my mum in a not nice tone...I dunno whether is it the time to teach him that we should not bring our troubles home and unleash on our family members. At the same time, I would also like him to figure himself on how to solve the situation with my mum, hopefully he might find out the problem is only a word: Respect. Yet, at the same time, I don't want this to escalate into something that is long term. 


Hmm..i think I will not interfere and tell ernest wad mother wants and as for his studies stress, I will see how to make sure he got his confidence back and not let stress put him down...as for his method, I think its up to him to decide bah...