Its just so easy to blame on others but oneself...today just feel kinda moody...its the compilations of everything sia...dunno why leh...I mean its just seems so saddening and yet as well as life-sapping....I am losing the fire...I am tired...I am acting like some 'out of control' freak...where am I ? What was my purpose?...I think I am having a life complex here sia...

How come things don't go my way like what I wanted to...heck with protocols...why does things seems to be going well with others , and yet I am always the one who suffers...the one who everytime must be experiencing stupid thoughts, stupid feelings...why am I so possessive at times? why am I showing my emotions at people where there isn't the need to? why do I need to be bothered by what others think? , why do I need always feel to be part of a group?...actly I thought it was due to her msg...but its nthg to do with her in the end, eventually its everything...even due to my uni. grad. applications...And why am I so afraid of u?? why am I so wary of ur every movement and every word that comes out from your mouth?? *rants*

Think today offended the gods or my feng shui is out of place....whatever sadness I can feel, just seems to be magnetically attracted to me man....sucks to the core...as usual her randomness questions always seems to be derail me at the wrong time*shakes head*...tired serious to the max...Actually, was wondering have I been asking too much in life? Have I been expecting too much from myself? Am I following the protocols that everyone else seems to be following? Do I have the strength to go against the protocols??......

Actually, to tell you the truth...I feel myself to be damn weak...or rather I hated myself for having all these complications sia....enough is enough...I cannot again let one incident to affect my mood for the whole day, Think I need to undergo Zen sessions man....like serious dude...