Tired...just jaded...in need of a holiday...

Somehow when listen to GK talking to me about mindy, it really really brings back memories about me and sam. I listen to him, also was like damn pek cheh....if u ask me to touch my heart and say how it will end, I will say that he might lose ultimately...but I still encourage him to try, maybe its because I want to prove that it will work, that he will succeed where I fail. And of cuz , I dont want him to lose faith and because of this , lost the gal. He still stand a chance, I am sure...though its super super little...but hope lor. Lets just hope. Maybe the reason why I agreed to help him carry on his 4 month plan was also to see another ending, a happy one I hope...

From my side...I failed bah. After 2 years, all I got was a deep appreciation and a consideration and a simple praise that I am good...sincerity?? uselss...hard work and effort ??...useless...a chance?? None...so it all comes down to a single word...feeling...its such a simple excuse to use...there is the saying, once bitten, twice shy.....my case its twice bitten, thrice..who wants a 3rd time??...unlike the 1st , this one wasn't that painful cuz never invest much feelings inside...but its like...i dunno...I just feel totally damn sianz at times...

I dont think about it all the time, but I just feel troubled by it...can we really be just friends? maybe..can we be best friends?? I dunno...seriously...I mean its not like my world is tumbling down or wad....but more of why?....why is it always like this?...

Or am I just forcing myself to think it thru?? cuz its the normal way to do by it...I cant pin-point anything , its just ....somewhere..somehow there is this knot which I cant untie...

Anws, want to thank Pig for pei-ing me thru the night, pai seh about making u sleep late...its really really nice of you for going thru most of life's ups and downs with me....=)