De-Sensitize

I always remember during my army days. Regardless in BMT or 39th, each of my commanders always say the same things. Once you keep doing it, you will get use to it. I recalled during my 1st ever mask run, it was only for 15th minutes, but with only 30% of oxygen available to me and I had to run 2km. When I completed it, once I took the mask off, I was white, the sky looks rather dark although its like 10am in the morning. Some got it worse, they collapsed. But, as time goes on, I can fully run 2km with a mask on in 15 minutes. I completed CFT. We even played basketball in masks, no joke. It was also the same with 24km route march.

I think its the same with our immune system, as we battles against new viruses, we also develop new anti-bodies to protect us. This game I played recently, I pulled out because I knew that I would eventually lose in the end, I knew that this is not the right time to show hand. If I were to all in, if I am lucky, I will be able to get some of the spills, if I am not...I will lose all. And like what I said before, I don't want to get into a situation where I lose everything again.

In some ways, I think I have grown to be nonchalant about things, maybe because I see things in a different perspective now? I don't try to skip steps anymore...I always used to think that if I do a certain way, thats the way to go. However, now thinking back, it seems that its a strategy for a one player game. Its not meant for a two player model. I think my first try has led me to form many weird? perceptions of the way how it should be played, and it has anchored me in some sense. Maybe that's where my inflexibilty is...