Friday, December 14, 2012

Down and Out

Been some time since I last blog, well my CFA level 1 exams had passed and all. Now is the stage where I am pretty much lost and wondering what I should do in life. Currently, the mood now is to get a job as quickly as possible and everyone around is telling me that. However, I feel that its not my path, I shouldn't just get the job just because I have to get it though now being with someone,I definitely need the cash...and dear is also kinda hinting to me liao. So I guess I really have to start pulling my socks up hur. Supposed to be setting some time to think about stuffs but eventually never manage to get much done as GK had some r/s problems and was talking/listening to him in the afternoon. And also, dear seems to be in a " leave me alone" mood for some reason that I can't comprehend and she doesn't want to tell me.

So, pretty much, didn't have much of a mood to do anything. Initially, the 1st 3 days of this week was still ok but all of a sudden on thursday, said that she wants to go home on her own and don't want me to be around. Even when at buona vista, also said she don't want to hold hands. Asked whether is it anything to do with me, said no. Naturally, my paranoid self went into overdrive and thought is it me, or the end and what not. Took me awhile to calm myself down and not think too much. Today, early morning went to her place to follow her to work so to see if everything is ok and all, but still pretty much down. There was no light in her eyes and smiles were forced. Want to very much help her, but don't know what happened. Today messages were limited, its kinda hurting.

Decided to went online and start searching at horoscopes again, trying to comprehend what on earth is happening. Found out that cancer girls are prone to mood swings and retreating into her shell. I wanted to just leave her and just wait for her to come back. But, I don't know how long I can wait, feels sick in the stomach not knowing what is going on. Hopefully everything will turn out oks...


No comments: