Confession Session....not those in church lah!!!

Confession Session...not those in church lah!!!

Hey all, today woke and up and realise that I need not go to school...lol...but still woke up at 7.30...haha wad to do...I wake up damn early lor...lol...whew the wind feels great in my face....wah it feels like I am in Australia..where the winds are...magical sia...dont know why ah...lately my house have been very windy...haha thts good feng shui...coz there is lots of 'feng'...haha....ok thats lame...

Morning went to eat breakfast with Sam...actually it should be a confession period for me....lol...coz I told her that I sort of had a quarrel with my mum...and she was stunned...lol...being in a family nan mian will have quarrels mah...haha...but really nice of her to spend some time with me...and listening to me and my nonsense...lol...its really nice to have a someone like her to confide in...haha..really really very lucky I am lor....to have such a friend!!!

Haha...as usual she overslept...haha she overslept so was late again...haha but its ok lah...anw she was studying at night so felt a bit bad that she had to wake up so early to pei me lor....haha anw suppose to go toa payoh to meet with the J1s...but I got mixed up...and it was suppose to be on a Monday...oh man...thought can spend more time chatting...lol...haha..nvm lah....studies more important lor....anw mine problems I think aint so bad lor...the problem just lies with me bah...as usual...haha

Haiz...mistakes and more mistakes...when I will ever learn...

Haiz...mistakes and more mistakes...when I will ever learn...

I was very gutted by what happen today...really...I came out of the exam hall feeling that for the 1st time in my life...I can tell u...I am going to flung my maths...seriously...I never ever done a maths paper so badly in my life..doubt will ever pass now...dunno how to face my parents, my teacher...and myself...haiz...but what can I do now...just mug?? thats what J.C kept on trying to tell me to do...actually sort of expected it...but didnt knew that it would turn out this way...juz now went to play bball alone...its only 45 mins...tired myself out but still cannot get rid of the pain inside me...exams coming and I am getting such results...Actually, what I am absolutely gutted was that I gave out super easy this time round...why...I also dunno, in the past, I still remember that I still kept on pushing even though I was so dead liao...but maybe thats O levels for u...last minute still can...but A levels, I doubt so....or maybe its the fact from an A dropping to a F....OMG...thought on a lot of things...on why I didnt concentrate during the june holidays...told myself that but in the end still like that...

J.C told me that his motivation was going back to st gab. and being able to look into the teacher face,eye to eye, and tell him..." I got 3 As"...thats his motivation...what's mine..I dunno...in the past, I juz kept ploughing because I feel that I should do that...so there wasnt really much motivation in my studies...but ever since coming to JC....its a totally change for me...I was so easily distracted by lots of things....friendships...and other stuffs....damn...really hated myself for being so lack of discipline...totally lost myself in the process...am I able to find my old self back??..I doubt so...after all that I have been through this 2 years...once is gone, it needs a miracle to come back...feel that I should just rediscover myself...have a bit of the old and new in me...need to undergo some serious remodifications...lol...

My confidence has also been slipping from me...dun understand why too....actually I dont think my situation is very bad...but its my mindset that is pulling me down..I think...well it really depends how my econs and phys. fare....then I will know how bad the situation is....today on the way home from bball, saw a lot of st gabs. students...wondering how time has pass so fast...wondering how was I last time to be so happy and focused on my work...now I kinda look pathetic...haha...though I dont look like it rite...now also has less tuition to help me...and everything...so I must put in more effort...

Come to think of it...maybe this time failure in my maths paper forced me to wake up to reality...that time is all against us...I now have a huge mountain to scale...but I am still going to scaled it...no more am I going to turn my head and look down...even if I am going down...I must keep my head up and look towards the peak...thats my dream...thats my goal...yeah...J.C was right...even if it is late...but it is never late to do something that should be done...now I undertand why...coz for most of the holidays...I have been wallowing in my own world...and everything...dwelling in something that was only one-sided all this while with no certainty that dream will ever come true...most probably it wont...even if I missed this chance, I will not regret it coz thr future is important now..no matter what people says about studies isnt everything...but I feel that without studies, you will lose everything...sometimes we are so caught up in the present, we tend to neglect the future..we cannot predict the future but we can prepare for it...and that is what I will do from now on...no longer am I going to say that there is no more time anymore...if I really going to fail my maths, I will answer to the people...must be responsible from now on...and set my priorities right...because the future doesnt concern me alone..it is link to everyone...though my parents dun say it...but I know that they have high hopes for me...I promised my mum that I will sponser her on her travels in the future...and now I must carried out that promise...this is my 1st step...I dont want to see her still moving around and cleaning the house like a maid...though she is not that old...but she is not that young either...I also dont want my siblings to have a such a lousy brother...a brother who cant even get into the U due to his inability to concentrate..no...i dont want to be labeled as a useless bum...no....the wind is blowing, the clouds shifting...time waits for no man...

I am not going to complain anymore about the time and effort that I must now put in in preparations for my Prelims...no...I am going to enjoy it...I am going to enjoy studying...I must get my desired results...must keep my promise...I must not give up...no I must carry on even if it meant sacrificing lots of stuff......

6 days...and realisation

Counting down...6 days left...

Yesterday, was just pondering over the conversation with Sam. realise that I dunno what I want in life...seriously..i sat down took out a piece of paper....and when I ask myself the question...i was stunned...I didnt know what to write down...My dreams??...I dunno...to own a piece of land overseas??...lol...I also dunno....then thought about what to do in the future...a financial consultant?? marketing manager...now began to doubt myself whether I can be in such jobs...then, it dawned on me that no matter what I want for myself in the future...if i cant get through this obstacle called A levels...life is going to be damn difficult to live through the next few years...Maybe after this year, I might be able to know what I truly want in life...or maybe after NS..or...well...haha I also dunno...anw now the thing is A levels...just now my mum just called me...then she says that i sounds very sianz over the phone...haha...maybe that's me for the next few months lor...hmm...think life is set to be very monotone for a while...lol....unless someone can brighten up for me...

Also feel that I might be or not be screwed by mid-years and kenna both my parents and teacher's wrath...but anw the most important will be prelims and the major one...so I am still going to put my best foot forward...and not panic liao...though I will be lying if I say that I am not scared...lol...who wouldnt be sia??

food photos

these are some of the food that i ate at kui-shin bo....delicious sia.....

zoo photos...

here is some photos that I took from the singapore zoo.....got an elephant with its trunk super straight..lol..then there is this turtle with 'stars' on its back...damn cool sia...haha

8 days and counting...can I make it??

8 days and counting...can I make it??

Today is the last week of the school holidays...how times flies sia...and next week will be the mid-years already...haiz feel that I might let both my teachers and parents down..but I still must keep on preserving...cannot give up....yap!! so must lets keep going...and going...

Yea...finally finished electric field today...I dunno whether will it be enough for the exams but well thats it...if i continue to think like that, I will never be able to finish it...so I must keep mugging...today auntie sam. pop by my house to study...before that went to eat lunch at kovan before going back home...so met sam.'s best friend...wah seems so fierce lor...wah so I dun there say anything....lol...scary..volleyball somemore....wah later use the ball and whack my face....lol...and the chicken rice was very nice...after so long, finally ate there....and it was very nice sia...no wonder many peeps like to pai tui for so long...haha and its cheap to....so take it from me...go try it out...

Ok...now its back to my books again....8 days left.....i need a miracle!!!

Heels and books ....9 days and counting....OMG!!!!

Heels and books ....9 days and counting....OMG!!!!

Wah... my favourite skin had to be thrown away...so sad...coz the server which suppose to be hosting the background pic was...erm..sort of delete the pic lah...damn....wasted lor coz the pic was super nice lor...haiz what to do...bo bian lor...lol...so had to fall back on my starry blog...lol...actually also quite nice lor...haha at least it reminds me to keep on preserving...lol...and I still have to be committed to my 'darling' and not 2-time her...............................HEY what U thinking!!!!!!!!! my 'darling' is my books lor....haha u kenna trick rite!!!!!lol...Anw, always 2-time her....haiz so for the next week, I am going to be totally committed to 'her'...WAHAHAHAHA...see such a wonderful boyfren where to find lor!!!!....haha talking crap as usual...

Yesterday, went studying with Auntie Sammy...lol....who ask her to call me Uncle...ahem...that shall not be spoken...anw thts beside the point...haha..so went with her to sengkang to study lor...juz realize that there is a library in Compass Point...haha I dont even knew that lor...okok I can hear someone sniggering away at the opposit block...anw so went to study lor...at least I managed to complete the DC circuits about 8 questions of paper 2 and 3...so not bad lor...well everything was allrite until...the....*SNAPPED*...and Sam. 's heels just snapped...or rather it was the strap that snapped...very 'lucky' rite?? well how many people can claimed that they snap their heels when studying...hmm not many...lol...anw I oso was at a loss lor...haha how I knw?? never go out with a gal and she somehow or rather snapped her heels lor...lol...lucky she got bring enough cash to get a pair of slippers if not I think I gotta carry her home...lol...let me see... how heavy is her...its....okok such things cannot be said....if not...hehe cant bear to think of the consequences....lol...anw after a rather 'long' frantic search....we climbed through shops and squeeze through people...and we finally found a pair of slippers...haha and after that we went back to our mugging...so after another 2 hrs of mugging...we had to leave liao...coz auntie there got tuition...lol...on the train talk like old people...maybe thats why i can communicate with old people...lol...talk about kids and how to raise them...as if we are already parents...lol...and mind u we are only 18...haha OMG...we are maturing too much...oh dear...haha

At somerset station, saw some scantily-clad gals...as if they are going to a beach party, and they are juz doing flag day....my my..wonder whether its their ploy...walked past some cedar sec. gals also...thought they are never going to get much 'business' there...or maybe they might...well..who knows...haha After sending auntie off, took the lift down and from the tuition centre, 3 RJC gals came out...wah kao...and I was thinking RJC leh!!! Need tuition for wad!!!....its peeps like me that need lor...LOL...

Went back home, then slacked around before going tuition...and after tuition juz came home and totally KO liao...lol...until today morning bah...haha oh ya yesterday was also Longyu's birthday too...about 11 she msg me that she was at clarke quay...getting a drink and watching soccer...lol...18 le mah...haha she oso ask me why I dont go to such places since I say the atmosphere there is great...haha but such places not my type lor...I think its too noisy lor...prefer a quiet place..anw at outside sure cannot be crazy lor...so paiseh...haha

Oh ya before I forget...must thank Sam. for the very nice present...really cool!!!!...hehe now I got a finger guard too...haha and also thanks for the packet full of nougats...my family totally went crazy with them...especially my mum...kept eating...still say tht she so fat liao...and still eat(shaking my head)...lol...and another thing to sam only....forgot to include an instruction booklet to u ah....when got any problem or wadsoever, just take a 'star' and open it...

a) some 'stars' got nothing in it...so if u got any problems, juz write in it...then juz make a wish and then throw it away lor...confirm u tht the problem will be solved by the next day...

b) some 'stars' have stuff in it lor....so better read it....haha

c) suppose to passed to u for ur aussie trip, so got some stuff is related to that...eh..sory abt tht lor....paiseh

d) and next time if the 'stars' finished liao ah...juz send it back..will re-fill for u without charge...haha its all part of the service=D


WHoa...ok now its time to be back with my books liao...its time to mug and my bro. beside me is nagging at me again...as usual...lol so take care folks!!!

ZOO....and 10 days....

Woohoo...yesterday Sam. returned back to Singapore liao...lol...actually wanted to send a 'welcome' msg lor...lol as I was doing a contest form, so kinda been delayed....lol...so eventually when want to send the msg, realised that she already send a msg saying that she has already reached Singapore liao...haha so too bad lah...never got a chance to show off my creative msging skills...haha BHB....anw ping an wu shi then its good liao lor...

Today, my mum dragged the whole family to the zoo lor...spent about 4 to 5 hours there lor..and my baby cousin was totally KO at the end of it lor...haha . Realised that the zoo have undergone a lot of renovations since I last visit about...8 years ago??..haha I also cannot remember liao...it has been a long time...a very long time...got to see many nice animals...but the sea-lion stand out to me bah...coz during the performance, it was damn cool lor...haha Also, found out that many of the zoo employees were very 'chio' lor...haha hey they really ah wad....ok i can see the gals ready to throw food at me leh...haha U are also chio lah!!!!....haha

Now...left only 10 days already...hoping for the best...they say that miracles really do happen...I have already experienced one already...now will it happen again??...I sincerely hope so lor...but will still try to do ny best...and if Sam. can mug till 2am..I also sure can one...cannot lose out to an Auntie...hahaha.....okok better put nicely a gal...haha

11 days left...

Today woke up rather early...so had an early breakfast...and everything then realised that it is the match between dallas mavs and the miami heat today...damn and was rather distracted by it, so very difficult to study my maths...also its like I totally have forgotten about my maths liao...coz I was very focused on my physics and my econs as they were my weaker subjects...so now thats a problem...now very afraid for my maths ecam which is coming in about 2 weeks time...now I think I have stopped saying that i am sianz or wadsoever anymore....coz it will definitely have some sort of effect on one...if one keep putting down himself...anw also found that not so caught up in world cup this year...also dunno why...lol...maybe kept losing in all my bets...sort of lost interest in betting liao...haha that is suppose to be a good thing rite??...haha so now must keep my chin up and continue ploughing through the night as usual as I spent too much time slacking during the day...Furthurmore, tomorrow still have to follow my family to go to the zoo...I have to admit I am not so enthu. about this whole zoo thingy but since its a must, then bo bian lor...anw have only myself to blame for not using my time well lor...so wad to do...haha

Oh ya, and if I am not wrong...I better be not wrong...haha and is that Sam. is coming back to S'pore today...haha kinda miss her for a week lor...lol...anw thought I saw her sis and dad today...wah...her dad like took leave today lor...lol...and her sis seems bigger size than her...hmm no wonder she is a bball player...hahaha...maybe its not that particular sis. lol...haha

time....is running out...12days remaining...cant seems to see the light...

Suppose to be blogging on the wonderful lunch that I had on sunday, but due to time constraints and since I havent uploaded the photos yet...so will leave that to later lor...lol...hope I dont forget it...anw also haven blog on a particular friday...damn...

Today was a rather tiring day sia...actually wanted to mug till 2 am like on monday, but at 1230 feel damn tired liao...so thot should go and sleep lor...later about 3am woke up and found out that fish juz msg me lor...and that she can watch the italy match liao...and coz of her I couldnt sleep liao...lol...jkjk...so went to watch the match lor...and the sms between juz kept flowing between each other...haha..i tink might have been 80 msgs lor...lol...wah kao in one soccer match!!!...eventually italy won..haiz and I lost again coz I bought draw...betting is bad for health(shaking my head)....so thought can go back to sleep and wake up at 6 to mug again...but eventually woke up at 9....damn...3 hrs wasted again...however also didnt really made full use of the morning...again...as usual...haiz sometimes hate myself lor for not being disciplined enough...now already left 12 days already..time is running out...if I dont say that I am in a panic...is a lie ...lor...hopefully I can pull through this man...like I have done in sec. school....anw the major battle will be the one in November....thts when the chess is set and the pawns will start moving...will I be the ultimate winner??

Bball with Hui min...

Today, after watching the fantastic opening match of the FIFA world cup 2006, the score was 4-2...whoa 6 goal leh...lol wah damn nice lah...after morning went to play bball with hui min...but as expected she overslept...but at least she still came lor...thts great...coz never see her for a very long time liao...so really nice to see her again...

Really can see that she is really very tired coz she has been going out the entire week lor...so of coz tired lor...haha though only 2 of us but still nonetheless quite nice lor...and u knw wad...i dont think i got suan her a lot today lor..haha maybe coz i found someone like Sam. to suan liao...lol....haha after that juz chat with her all the way till central and wait till her bus comes along lor...

Came back home, suppose to do my notes on my econs...dont know why after a while my mind become to wonder...haiz damn I better hurry up and get my act together if not my ultimate battle at the end, I am going to suffer....hopefully lor...shoot i need some motivation sia...lol...hmm maybe after watching the england match, I gotta go back and mug again...must at least finish the notes by today....

Missed...

Wah...yesterday the whole morning I cheong....so to finish the 'masterpiece' so that can pass it to Sam. then after that she msg me that she is already in perth liao....dotz...lol thoght she will be leaving on today lor...haha haiz nowadays I think she also super busy lor...well should be lor...coz everytime never answer my msg...boohoo....haha...anw she better watch the world cup with me sia...if not damn sianz lor...lol...haha so wish her a fantastic time in Perth lor...haha I bet she will enjoy the lor...

Making a difference...

Yesterday went to whampoa for my last day at project sphere, and we were suppose to bring the old folks out for a trip around the lim chu kang area....namely a goat farm, fish farm and a farmers market...

So at about 8.30am, I set out for whampoa, and upon reaching there we were task to so-called "wake" up our 'family' for the day...went with michelle to see whether her's has already woken up...luckily for her or unlucky for them...lol....they were attending their relative's wedding, so they last minute couldnt make it. After that, I went to look for my 'family' found out that they were already asssembled at the assembly area liao. However, after a lot of confusion and lots of unexpected stuffs, I kenna switch 'family' lor, in the end, I got paired up with a malay couple...and I was like....oh shit(shaking heads)...

But overall, i sort of discover myself in a lot of ways...the inability to communicate in the same language can be sort of a hinder but just the pure sincererity and wearing no 'mask' can make the other party understand u too... Luckily , the woman in malay knows a little english so can communicate with her...actually both the couple have difficulty moving around and not many people talk with them...well maybe they always give that sort of stern look...i have to also admit that i also never really totally commit my time to them...but after being with them for half a day, they sort of loosen out to me lor...actually they are very nice people though they dont really talk to much...still remember at the end of the day, when I send them back home, they also invited me into their house...thats the 1st time that I have entered a Malay's home on my own that is...and that sort of feeling is indescribable(hope i spell correctly:P)...when I see the look on their face...it makes me think that I have definitely made their day today....really

Around the end of the day, I also chat along with soks and lewis 'family', I found out that the auntie is a very active member in the neighbourhood when she showed us her photos though her husband seems very quiet but his smile is very nice...seriously...as if it is from his heart like that...I chatted with the auntie for like about 2 hrs lor...lol...dont know how i am able to talk with her for so long...lol...maybe coz i am like them( so old)...lol I am only 81 lor...haha...talk to her about amlost everything lor..from studies to IR...tried to get her to talk about her family..but she seems rather closed on that subject, so I also dont really bothered to go deeper...she says that I am rather handsome and tall...hahahahaha...she really know how to praise people...lol...haha and she also says that I know how to listen to old people...but i think i everybody also can listen....cept dont call me at some ungodly hour lor...lol...actually if people needs to talk to me, I will always be there to listen lor...cause i feel that in every story, there is something to learn...for me that is lah...lol...if i had encounter similar situation, i will give a bit of advice lor...but rarely coz i knw tht advice does not work for every person...the person must learn himself...sounds damn cheem rite...haha

Also, chatted with a old man called Mr Andy Lau...and no its the Andy lau you are thinking of..haha and I must say he is a rather interesting old man though it seems that he has a very sad background which he doesnt really like to talk about it...he can really train animals and breed them as well...apparently his parrot at home is very the pro. lor...lol....but he seems like someone that closed himself very easily, maybe because of his past whereby he was cheated by his fellow parther in business cause of his partner's gambling habit...

Lastly, got this middle aged couple whom kept on complaining a lot lah...from the food to the places...stupid idiots...as if we are some kind of tour agency like that..a lot of the residents that went there were already rather contented and they would like to have some kind of High tea....in some posh place...I say ah...in this world...got a lot of rather weird people...from another perspective, maybe they got a reason for doing so...how will I know??...

Overall, this trip has been really a bit self-discovering for me and once in awhile go out with old folks can give one a different look of life...well who says CIP sucks lor...lol...so far it has been rather gr8 for me for all the CIP that I have joined in...though my hours is small compared to others...but I think compared to some, I have benefited more=)

mentally tired...dunno why too...help=(

Haiz...today woke up..felt mentally very sianz...got no motivation to do anything...lazy to study(though i knw the importance...), not interested in games, no programmes to watch, so quiet at home...thot of moping the floor....but stoned so long until no time liao...later still got BBQ...haiz also dun feel like going too...just 10 peeps lor but i still have a responsibility to go lor...i can always juz say that i suddenly not feeling well or something lor...maybe in the past i will do that, but now feel that whatever i do, i should be responsible and whatever i promise peeps, i must keep it...so now i am rather cautious with my words...so if i meant something. i will go out and make sure i do it...(but still trying...)

Now, the prob. is I got prob. trying to get myself moving and sit down and really study...why ah??...haiz hopefully can find my motivation as soon as possible...wah luckily i never pack my hols like sam. and thad. or others of my friends...but it has never been how much time one haves, it is always how one use the time that he haves which is more important...I can say all these but like they say..." talk is cheap"...dont even know whether i will be able to sit down and work hard...

Over The Hedge....its very dangerous!!!

Yesterday, apparently Sam. pon her GP test....tsk tsk...someone becoming very bad ah....haha...lol her whole class pon lah...so at the most all of them also kenna too...one for all and all for one...lol... haha=) And luckily this time she wasnt late again...last time was 1 hr...now became only 5 minutes...if i calculate correctly:P

Anw, along the way to dohby, she told me some stuff that is rather surprising...ok maybe not...coz i always got this hunch that KH likes her...haha...anw found out that she is very highly sought after lor...haha so wads the price?? $1 or $1 million??...haha okok better dun suan liao...

So finally reach the cathay cineplex round PS there...Wah and the place is very nice lor...fantastic sia...though there is not much shops yet but the cinema was superb sia...top-class...u can take it from me...met terence and yao zhong ard there too...haha oh and did I mention cw and michelle...haha they practically cant keep their hands off each other...lol

the movie was not bad lah...though rather predictable so still find Nemo best...love the porcupine kids though..."hard right!!!"..."BONUS!!!!"...haha very cute...and the possum who likes to play dead:P

After that went to starbucks at isetan there( did i mention plus being drag along to look for someone's bdae present?, no wonder i got no energy to study today:P)...then realised that my phototaking skills sucks big time...and i will never contacts....never!!...coz someone says i lok like gal w/o specks....chey....haha then almost practically stoned there...haha never realise that i can stoned for so long with someone and not feel paiseh or anything...haha coz she also stone with me...haha muz be the heavy lunch...lol...

Sam. also ask me what colour represent her...said grey....haha coz she likes white wad...and she is ratehr tanned...okok was juz joking....no lah 1st time find her very pure and innocent and cute...after that...ok maybe not so innocent but still cute....haha so the white becomes grey lor...lol...ok thts not the point...so she gave me 5 colours to choose..so i chose orange...coz i think suit her character leh...and anw i also kinda like orange...haha...supposedly means that we treat each other as very good friends...haha and we both chose the same colour so it means that we must be great minds then...hmm...wonder if i had said purple..what will happen ah??...lol...anw doubt that purple suits her lor...