Battle-field

I can feel it again...the feeling of panic...like what I was watching in the morning about how the US SOF divers went thru during their hell test. This time the feeling of panic on eoe, the feeling of panic of not know knowing anything. I have this mental visualisation of me reaching for this red button labelled " Panic!".

I am shocked at the rate of stuff that I know about EOE...I know that I got to really chiong for it, but there are times that I don't know what on earth I am doing...I am...afraid. I am seriously afraid of it...I dont want to touch it because the moment I open the notes, I straight away have the feeling of closing it.

But, I hated such a feeling, this feeling of not knowing anything, the feeling of helplessness, the feeling of not putting up a fight. Taking a deep breath, I think I will push on...I will keep doing the tutorials till I am not afraid...and that I can at least understand stuffs. As for this friday prelims, i doubt I can make it in time...but I think I will still turn up and least try the paper, if not then I will abandoned it half way and prepare for stats 2 bah...which is also another cause of concern...However for that, I need to do well for it in order to get a treat...

There is so much battles to be fought on all front. This year, I cannot fight a battle and just win. This year I will have to fight and win in the best possible way ever. Which is to minimize the number of casulties. I think I will have to put myself and the troops under some really crazy training...and there will be mock battles which I will lose and suffer the humiliation that comes with it. However, this is the only way. Either I win or be killed. enough said.