Inhibitions

Oks I am here once again because I had a sudden thought that just float through my brain. " Have I been putting a lot of pressure on my life?" Thats a very good question to ask...haha..I am amazed at my brain sometimes. Pressure. I can;t actually remember when I started to use certain things as a pressure on myself so to get things done. Of course, pressure is essential in every journey that we embark on. If there is no pressure, there won't be any progress. Various things that we taken for granted these days were actually invented due to pressure at that current point of time.

I was thinking about my studies, sapph, stocks and life in general. There had been cases that happened before when I put pressure on myself and things turn out for the best but there had been a lot more stuff that had happen which had cause things to take a turn for the worse. Without pressure, I don't think its a very good idea because its really no good and seriously, when exams are round the corner, how can one not feel the pressure? And with the grades that I am aiming...even more I can feel the heat. I have my own ambitions and dreams, but do I have enough of perseverance to go for it? I myself also dont have the answer. I know at times where I can drop whatever I am doing and go for other stuffs. It has been proven before, but I feel that I should make a stop to that le. Like what Adam Khoo had said in his books, do not let anything stop you from achieving what you are able to. Be it r/s, parents fighting and etc etc.

In my life, I had been dragged back by a lot of things. Mainly due to insecurities and a lack of steadiness. Which I had always attributed to a lack of confidence. I think its has somewhat been embedded in me since young, or whatsoever reason. Now at 23, I seriously seriously feel that I cannot let myself down anymore, because of one lack of confidence, that has been slowing me down for most of my life, my peak is approaching and very soon it will passed...should I still let myself to be slowed down or should I throw all my inhibitions and jump into the unknown and unchartered regions? Rationally, I think I would say find a balance between both of them. But, somehow I feel thats an excuse in just either delaying the jump or trying to soft convince myself that staying the same is the way to go.

*After 15 mins*

I think I am gonna take the jump but not letting go of my principles and rules in life that I had learnt, but I will get rid of the inhibitions that had bound me so tightly, inhibitions that chain me to the bar that stopped me in a lot of things that I do.


PS: for those who read this blog a couple of times le...I think I might sound rather weird cuz every post I decided on something, then next post will be like on the same issue again...its like I never really made up my mind. Haha....miyahae..cuz I am the sort of person that needs to be drilled de....so..changes will take time...just in case any of u are wondering...though I think its not like any of you will ask me about it=X