Met up with Samantha and got her to read the previous entry. She told me that she was happy for me, because I finally let it go. I smiled...its not something that I would be happy about..but I can see her point of view. She told me a lot of stuff, things she went through and what she thought of life in general. I asked her about whether I had change in the past 6 years. She said that I had shown remarkable growth in the aspect of the ability to pull myself out of any emotional mess that I am in. She felt that I had placed a lot of blame on her in the past due to her rejection of me. She feels that now I am able to see things from a detached point of view and that I don't judge people quickly as I would in the past. She tells me that I am one of her pillars of life( which as usual makes me feel real important). She says that overtime, I had transited from me being someone that she had to take extra care for me to someone that can be her pillar in life. Again, we went to a bit nostalgic side, we recollect a bit of our past relationships and stuff like that. We talked about our lives and on how I am a little envious of the success that she has which is of course not easily earned. And I seriously, thankfully and gratefully, thank her for being in my life and that she never let me go. For I couldn't imagine my life without her advice and words.
I guess I felt that I was a bit lousy that's why I asked her about me. Hearing her says that, really meant a whole lot to me. Because I was doubting myself, that because being nice and caring always ends up being last those kind of things. I asked her what I asked Tracy and Ben just last friday night.
What do you see yourself in 5 years time?
She tells me her goals and dreams. I told her what I hope is mine. I couldn't really give her an exact description on my career path. However, I told her my hopes and dreams. In 5 years time, I want to be in the financial markets dealing with equities and that I will be able to own a condo. A condo that has an overlooking view of the Singapore City. A decent car, ideally a Maserati. A partner that is not so difficult to live with, a partner that will love me and understand me. A partner that will follow me for walks around places. We will enjoy coffee in a nice cafe, reading our books or people watching. I will be able to be financially free to a certain extent, which is still my dream goal. I want to travel the world, to experience life, to be up in the Swiss Alps, to be drinking coffee in London, to be driving in the hills of Scotland, the Cherry Blossoms of Japan and to roam the streets of Seoul.
Sam told me again that luckily we didn't ever got together, for if we did, I guess we would have missed out on something as pure and unconditional as this connection that we have right now.
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