Avatar outing

Well...today it ain't that bad when I went out with zhenni for the movie. Turns out her two other friend ain't that friendly...well only the girl lor, maybe cuz she is the gf of the guy, wen hui, who seems to be closer to zhenni. Assuming that he is from their secondary school de. The guy ok lor, did talk a bit but the girl totally quiet. An apparently she hardly talk to zhenni de. Hmm...so at times, it's really quite awkward when me and the assumed to be gf is quiet and zhenni and wen hui will talk lo.

Well, I won't discuss the movie here, will leave it for next time. But avatar is really a good movie. U guys should go watch it.=) after wen hui and the girl left, then sort of got zhenni to stay with me in town cuz I got to meet gk at 7 pm and the movie ends at 4.30 pm so I will be damn sianz. And anws she also got another movie to catch at 7pm as well at AMK.

We went to nearby somerset 313 to walk around and she shop for some stuff to wear to her cousin's wedding. Somehow I always end up shopping with her accessories de. Don't ask me why sia....I also have no clue. Lolz. Then walk here and there, to forever 21, cotton on, uniqlo. Then...we end up drinking and eating at blue mountains coffee which I said the coffee was nice, according to some random memory in my mind. Haha. Then we talk about random stuffs an about my Penang trip etc. Somehow she still remember that I owe her a trip to chomp chomp. And somehow it occur to me that in th past, she don't remember such things de...hmm...anws there are sometimes when I m with her, where the feeling of wanting to be close to her or smthg like that did pop up...well Esp. In the cinema. However, I think...it's really not that strong le..maybe it's just smthg of a habit or some kind bah. Now, I feel more relax around her le, might be cuz I don't have the want / expectation of anything with her, there is definitely some distance between us now..maybe it's cuz I dun contact her as much now as compared in the past, so I don't really know what she is doing and all...hence the lack of topics to talk...especially when we were eating...but I think a bit got better towards the end. Somehow got a bit of Deja vu or sorts...haha don't know why. Anws, hope that we can hang out more often and that the distance between us can be reduced...


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Avatar decision

Well...sometimes one got to try new things right?...Just now, zhenni ask me whether want to join her and her friends watch Avatar...but well... feeling weird and a tinge of fear( see i am not sociable de)...but anws...maybe I should just try lor, anw I also really want to watch the movie and I seriously cannot find anyone to watch with me...so I will turn up lor...lolz...wonder how sia...but anws, maybe I should try to open up more bah...start to network le...>.<

Well it looks like a bz day tml, 1230 watch avatar with zhenni and her friends. Followed by, sherlock holmes with benny, SC, GK and maybe boon tml evening/night...omg...more $$ flying out of my wallet...GG

Numbness

Let me break down the things I did in december...went to holiday in penang for ard the 1st 2 weeks...came back then 2 days later got chalet...now soon to have Xmas week then one more week and its 2010 le. Wow...I have been hentadaki for this month!!! sianz sia!!!...emo-nemo ness...lolz...but somehow I dont really have any energy to do anything...I just totally in the the 'dun bother me' mood....dun feel like doing homework, don't want to plan anything, don't want to worry, don't want to think about stuffs that don't warrant me to think about them, don't want to go to school, don't want to look at my commitments, don't want to...essentially I just want to do something else...oh and don't feel like working as well..total lose sia...Maybe its a sign from my brain to chill and take note on my directions bah....

Seems that every december posts for every year, it will always be mass reflections and stuffs like that. Maybe thats why I hentadaki for this month...there is this that I am suppose to do, but I just put on hold...everything is on hold...and the part of me that cannot stand doing nothing is badgering me to start, but the other half is telling me that I must slow down....like seriously from gear 4 to gear 1. Maybe like what zhenni showed me last time, that for me, I should try to meditate sia..lolz...

Yesterday went night cycling with my secondary school friends, totally cui...lolz..i not pro de and took the challenge of the road...ultimate GG..luckily managed to survive...lolz..well except a few cuts here and there...and hopefully I didnt broken my 2nd toe>.<....

1st 3 days in Malaysia

1st day went to malacca. And well it's just like that lor...haha cuz it's been so many times there le...and there had been some new additions to the shopping scenes there, with some new mega malls being built. And needless to say, we went shopaholico...haha...we like mass t-shirts and stuff...then it's on to the Japanese food at makhota parade...hehe what do to.. We are japanese fanatics...haha

2nd day, begin our long LONG drive to penang... And my dad let me drive from KL to Ipoh, needless to say it's quite an experience... I think I am constantly speeding between 110km/hr o 130 km/hr..mum want to kill me=P...but I try to maintain at 115 lor..but sometimes driving at the outer lane... Ppl tend to push u damn fast..cuz they usually travel 150 to 180 sia....so every time I overtake, got to hit 130 km/hr lor... But have to admit, it feel a bit shuang but it's damn dangerous!!!...and it's a damn long drive, so it's a bit tempting to speed... And according to my bro, I seriously damn fast..reach Penang ard 4. Got lost there straight away, totally unfamiliar with the routes...but somehow managed to find my bearings.. Hoho.. Went into the city centre in evening, totally got confused by the island's infrastructure.. Totally cui and quite a headache, I got to like constantly check 2 maps plus some word essay and look in
front to figure out where we were. Ate at gurney drive, very nice food, especially the Assam laksa and of cuz the cockles lo!!! Shiok ah..

3rd day. We went to this dim sun place somewhere in Chinatown and as usual we took awhile=P...but the food was not bad. Then went to 2 Buddhist temples and had lunch lor... And after that went back to hotel and realised tht dad is sick... Which makes matters damn bad cuz how do I drive and navigate at the same time?? So we made some changes to our dinner plans and went to the nearby shopping centre lor...then I drove back in the night.. Which is a bit daunting cuz u know it ain't singapore where everywhere is brightly lit and all..came out of the shopping at a wrong exit,, but heng lucky enough to figure my way back by another way...and now on iPod blogging..haha

缘分

I really cannot believe how small and connected this world is. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever ever expect jy best friend to be the bf of M's good friend...I was totally shock sia...and I happen to know the girl somemore...And all these while, jy was telling me about his friend and the girl, and it turn the girl is actly M's good friend...OMG....I seriously do think that fate and affinity is seriously something very powerful yet mystical in this world. I mean...2 totally somehow cannot meet, ended up together and yet all of the friends/acquaintances of them are somehow related with each other...and like what jy said, maybe its cuz we (gk,jy me) had some sort of fate with each other...something so strong that somehow our friends are also link or related in some way or another.

It made me think that everyone that I talk to, anyone that I had made a connection with, its because we had some sort of affinity=). haha....so do cherished and appreciate those friends around you=) especially the close ones.

Maze-ness

I think I really need to go on a holiday to get out of the never ending maze. This is a perfect example of how human emotions can lead one to be off the track...well well...thats why I always believe in fundamental analysis...haha...but I have played this maze before...and hopefully I have finally found the way to get out.=)

Bumps and Humps

Bumps and Humps

Woah...it's quite amazing today man..went to vivo. To buy a recorder for my mum. And guess who I bump into!! Edwin and Sharon...haha. Totally caugt me by surprise sia...I was seriously like zone out lor...the all of a sudden Edwin just tap me. Haha and he was like in front of me only...malu sia...lol. Oh and he going to Korea for holiday this saturday. Anyonghasaeyo!! Lolz..

This morning also woke up like around 4 to fetch my sis to ard serangoon central there cuz she has this production shoot around Singapore and stuff lo. A bit weird day sia...and oso feel like slacking..as evident in my previous post.

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Well...today is a day when I just totally want to nua...damn...

人以人之间

Human relationships are one of the more obscure things in life that one can never find a way to explain. One human may see it in this way, whereas the other will see it in other way. the difference between girls and guys mindsets. Parents and children. Well, it seems that everything links back to perceptions.

I used to have this mindset that in a relationship, as long as one side tries his/her best in it, then everything will turn out fine. I thought that as long as I keep trying, tune myself to the situation then everything will turn out the way I expected it. And thats pretty much sums up my direction in life. I remember Jo sent me this song by westlife: ' Love takes 2'...somehow in relationships, it really is truly between 2 people and somehow I was so obsessed(why u so obsessed with me...Mariah carey song=P...haha) with wanting to be with tht someone and it leads to a cage and total illusion. Well, it is also a lot about accepting the other person for who they are, and about their choices and all...because its takes 2 to commit. It takes initiative from both sides to hold hands rite?...so ya...haha...thats something that I figure it out...but application is another issue all together rite??...haha

Obama bow???!!!!!

Today, jianyang brought up something about President Obama bowing to foreign leaders such as the Japanese Emperor Akihito and that it has somewhat caused a big hoo-ha among the conservatives back at the states. Well, we were saying that it's an act of humility and that somewhat nowadays world leaders seems to be much better ( or should I say diplomatic) then compared to the past. Remember George (war) Bush?..he was kinda aggressive in his campaign against terror. Somehow, Obama's administration seems to be very very diplomatic in every front.

Many internet opinions especially by the conservatives are that it is utterly wrong for the US president to show such acts of ' weakness' to foreign leaders. In my opinion, I don't see that there is anything wrong in showing acts of humility and stuff. Yes, as the world's most powerful leader( not less with the help of the media), he should show some kind of back-bone and stuff. However, I think that it is absolutely in US interest for them to build some kind of rapport, a better relations with other leaders, especially China. China, will eventually be the biggest market(literally with that many people) in the world and will be an important world player. Will she become the most powerful nation? That is still unanswered because there is still a lot of restrictions as well as that so far China had not done much on a global scale unlike USA.

But, she will be the place where riches can be found, and it will stand in USA favour to be with good terms with China. I think Obama also recognize this fact as well and sometimes it doesn't pay to keep going heads on..and I think this is an act of diplomacy so to farther improve relations between them.

Actually, after around 11 months of Obama administration, he has definitely been around the world trying to repair relations with various nations which I think is a good thing. As the US can not be alone and is rather dependent on other nations as well. i.e China, which actually holds a substantial amount of US treasuries...However, as for how effective his administration are, still remains a mystery. He had been trying to overhaul the entire healthcare system in the midst of the financial mess left behind, which had not been exactly successful>.< ...The market demand in the US is still very far from the peaks in 07 and 08,although there had been indicators which shows improvements. But, it might be due to X'mas factor, being why consumers are willing to spend again..but the unemployment rates are still high. Is he a better choice than McCain ? Its still hard to tell...

2012. The end?

Watched the movie 2012 with boon on saturday after the AFA 09. Its a very very emo. show to begin with cause its the end of the world and stuff like that. Surprisingly, its good with the way they use nature to create the catastrophe and the forecasts by the mayans to add a touch( or rather a huge touch) of realism to this movie.

In the movie, Armageddon was caused by the sun's repetitive solar storms that heats up the earth's core over the next 3 years from 2009 to 2012. And eventually the earth's core will be so hot that the magnetic poles of earth will change and that earthquakes and tsunamis(see wad i mean by realism) will totally tear the earth apart. And in the movie, mass people died.

The movie was not bad cuz it touches on a variety of topics like Anarchy, Elitism, Rich and Poor inequality, human morals and ethics, courage and being rational. I think the more annoying part was the rich and poor inequality with the rich being able to have a chance to survive rather than the poor and if going by the initial plan of the world's leaders( which is to have the best and youthful humans to procreate), why on earth is an old lady who is super rich allowed to be saved then....so u can see the contrasting ideals of the world's leaders. The saddest part I think was that a young indian scientist was the one who initially alerted the world of this catastrophe, but in the end, he wasn't saved even though the US govt. had said that they would...but well...cuz being in a 3rd world country, that sort of deprives him of a ticket.

Also, when everyone knew that they are going to die, anarchy rule the day...that I have nothing to say because its in everybody that survivability is of the utmost importance. But its seriously very sad to see it happens, people stampede and pushing each other off the ledge...

Naturally, the movie makes one want to go find out more about 2012 and the solar storms. Of course, I had knew of Nostradamus predictions that 2012, the world will undergo a massive change, and somehow a lot was link to the end of the world. But like what jy said, eventually analysts of Nostradamus said its up to human choice. And, in recent news, NASA had earlier released in march 2009 that there will be a massive solar storm occurring in 2012 around there and that it will be strong enough to wipe out the entire east coast of USA power grid. Which in other words mean that electricity will be totally cut off, everything will be down....imagine wad a huge impact will it be on the world. Barely recovering from the 2008 sub prime, now wall street for all its computers and trading platforms, will totally shut down. Imagine what a huge catastrophe that not only is on USA but on the rest of the world as well....

As of now, the news have been mainly said that it will affect the northern hemisphere....so maybe it might not happened to the equatorial countries, but the far-reaching effects of it may cause turmoil around the globe. But of course, I am sure the USA will be definitely beef up their power grids and stuffs...I mean come on, if the whole world knows about this and it was released by your very own space agency, u mean u are going to ignore it??...whether it will be sufficient enough no one knows, and about the fundings to fund the program...well, its gonna add more zeros to the budget deficit of the nation.

On a side note, I wonder whether this solar storm will actually cause any more other side effects...as the ozone layer is already rather thin itself, will more UV rays actually reach us?? and isn't that terrible?? with the earth farther heating up..and sea levels rise even more. And due to the large ejection of magnetically charged particles, will the already shifting of the magnetic poles be accelerated?? Which in turn will again distort all our devices and it may cause problems to nature...

Therefore, I dont think that 2012 will be the end of the world, but rather maybe what Nostradamus meant was that our way of life may be seriously altered by this solar storm...it might lead to an acceleration to our current eco-problems and stuff. So I think its up to our choice on how are we going to prevent,react and how prepared are we to such a storm...but then again...it might never ever happen...however if based on graphs and patterns provided by NASA, then it most probably should be lor. I meant the solar storm not the end of the world lah...lol...But i think such stuff do really get everyones worries up by an inch, I am sure

If u have two persons engaged in a verbal battle, the solution is to have at least one who is clear headed...and not get carried away by useless emotions....

Recipe for a lousy and sad day

Ingredients:
No iPod for 2 days...
PBJ never reply me...
Can't Find anyone to go AFA 09 with me...
I cause POSB coins deposit machine at Serangoon central to jammed...
Raining Cats & Dogs...

Mix it all up and ta-da...emo nemo-ness to the max..=$

Breaking Free of this Enclosure

Today, was on the bus with jianyang, and we were just chatting about our APEC volunteering. He told me that he met this malaysian guy who was helping out at APEC. As they chatted, the guy told him that he wants to come to Singapore to work and stuff, its because that the malaysian government is really biased towards the malays. (its in their constitution btw) Then, it was real difficult to carve out a career in malaysia and stuff. He told jy that he is willing to sacrifice to break out of this unfair treatment and he uprooted his entire family to singapore. He sold everything in malaysia( he was staying in a condo. btw) and shifted to a flat here on our sunny island.

"Break Out"...this few words struck me. The idea of break out first occur to me when I was introduced to the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by my mum when I was in J1. I would have to say that kiyosaki wrote in a very engaging manner and that it sort of like gives me that this is the way to go...its so easy. But of course, it never was. His notion was to break out of the rat race. It is this very circle that traps most of us in our day to day mundane life. Wake up. work.tv. and the cycle continues all over again, and soon one will retire...Sounds tragic hur...actually everyone wants to achieve that, but it ain't easy, seriously. This idea of breaking out of the rat race, also signify going against social norms. It involves going against what society(consists of friends/loved ones/media) felt was right. And particularly for me, it is rather difficult to be a loner...haha...unlike JY=P...I meant it is hard to ignore the norms and go and do what only you believed is right? This is the brick-wall.

Yesterday, watched Randy Paush's last lecture on youtube, I think its really inspirational and all. I got the book before I watch the video, but watching him giving the speech is a totally different experience. It's all about living your childhood dreams and eventually the head fake, was about how to live life. His book has more stuff compared to the lecture that he gave though, so you might want to consider. If you all want to read, I can lend you as well.=)

The Room. My Resolve.

The same place we share.
Different memories and emotions are tie to it.
It can be a place for rest to some.
Others it became a place to cry.
Or a place to reflect.
Any place can be the Room Of Requirement.
All one needs is a thought of escaping from reality.

To me, the place where I have frequently found the Room is where my best friend initially brought me there. Its just a very normal place, its shared by the public...I think its a place where many found their own Room(s). The very place where no one can enter it unless a special permission is given by the user. It has held on my memories,thoughts and secrets that no one knows...as with others who have made contact with it. I was there again just now, enter and pondered. I have decided on my resolve, my position in this chapter, I won't be beaten down. If thats what life or whoever up there is going to throw at me, I will gladly take up the challenge. I will bounce back, I dont care if I am going to fail again, I dont care if there is suffering again, I dont care if I might cause my whole life to crumble. I will make sure all these things are not going to happen, I will do it my way...the way that I held my principles and beliefs...bring it on..

Its all about how much you value something, and how far you are willing to go for it.

Some days

Some days are harder than before.

Some days I can't even think.

Some days I can't eat or sleep.

Some days I can't even leave my bed.

Some days I feel like giving up.

Some days are okay.

Some days I don't even cry.

Some days I don't miss you that much.

Some days I don't need to fake a smile.

Some days I almost feel happy again.

Some days I know I will be okay.

this is from my friend's blog. really nice. kinda melancholic. pretty much sums up our lives. There is a day for everything, every feeling that we experienced. I think the moral of the story here is to press on. Currently, I am tired...at this point of time , but tml will be another day and it may yet be a day where I will continue the journey.=)

Unexpectedness

I was reading my bestie's blog and its...hmm...let say that its filled with emotions.=) And its not the emo kind lah. I can seriously feel her feelings and everything. Maybe its nicely written or wad...and it just open my eyes to her world. The world which I never seen before, the world out there, which I rejected if given the opportunity to go. I remembered her insecurities of going over to UK, and her initial year there was quite cui....but I am glad she made the trip.

On hindsight, her overseas studies also help me overcome our issues together that we had in the past, as well as it sort of made me grow up I think?...haha. I also remembered that she was afraid of herself changing, I told her at that point of time, that I have confidence in her that she will still remain the same sam that I know. Well, after 2 years, I am glad that she is still the same in some ways =)...of course there will be some changes, as nothing is ever constant. Overall, she is still the same old sam that I knew.

Recently, I had been rather bothered by the lack of time or might be due to my impatience or wadsoever. I was particularly annoyed by my inability to understand some concepts as well as I am unable to answer questions without referring to this and that as well as I have no friggin ideas what the marker wants and stuff. Then my other commitments started to pop up in my head...and I suddenly felt that time is not enough. Somehow, when I read her entry, its nice?? haha...I also dunno why feel more relaxed leh...might be the english air that I can feel..lolz Or is it that she had grown in some ways? I dunno...I just felt real happy for her...haha

And suddenly, I dont feel so bad about my situation anymore. Maybe its the vibes that I am getting from her. The feeling of 'initally its the hardest, but the end is worth it'...haha I seriously dont knw...but I am glad I read tht entry.=)

H.S.B.I.A

Ok before I start anything on this, I want to say is that this is not me emo-ing ah...its just something that I had found along the way...haha..Actually it's based on my past and a bit from the movies...please take it with a pinch of salt, for it might not applies to everyone out there. This is actually a pattern that I realise recently when one falls into a one-sided relationship or a relationship that fails....Oh and it's from a guy's perspective..like duh...lol

H=Happiness

This portion is the shortest in the entire process but the one that prolongs the pain as well as the only one that make someone hold on to the relationship as well.This is also the portion where it seems that both of you are made for each other, where everything in your world is only her.Everyday, you will only talk about her, think about her...waiting for the next outing with her and stuff like this. And your world is filled with colours, its a very beautiful time of your life.

S=Sadness

Then when the inevitable happens, the both of you are separated or not so close anymore. One becomes very sad, he still tries to convince himself that at least he can remain friends...actually he still hopes for a reconciliation. This is also the point of time, when the heart is feeling damn heart-wrenching...as if life is being taken out of oneself. Everyday, one will try to live life, try to move forward but in actual fact he is forever stuck there. He will waste everyday going through everything in his head, asking and trying to find where is the problem. He wants to see her...but is impossible. And the memories kept replaying,replaying,replaying and replaying over again. He cares not for his health, he just want her back...

B=Bitterness

After the long and constant replaying of memories in the guy's head, there are answers that need answering but often than not, the girl never turns up to answer that. It could be due to a lot of reasons that the guy at that point of time didn't know. No one explain to him, why it happens and stuff. Worse, the girl suddenly disappear entirely from the face of the earth. No return of sms, no return of calls...totally nothing. Then the guy, will feel like shit. Why on earth, doesn't she replys? Why are u doing this? Why are u torturing me? Can u stop avoiding me?..its just kept replaying and replaying..until it comes to a point where everything turns to bitterness. When one starts to hate the girl so much and yet he still loves her, and folks this is the most torturing thing in life. To love and hate someone is truly a painful thing and some might not be able to handle it and drove them mad and stuff. This is also the period, where people will tend to act irrationally only to regret later and pass on their unhappiness onto others.

I=Indifference

The guy will stand up one day, after the long periods of grieving and mourning...he can't be bothered by all of this already and will try to take his mind off such thoughts. He will turn to various ways of 'happiness' , like going back to chasing their dreams or take up a new hobby. This stage, it varies from individuals when they will reach here, some may be lucky and reach here fast...others may forever stuck in the B-sector and never climb out of it. Here, he will not want to have anything to do with the girl anymore and just want to get along with life. Most of the time, the guy will also say things like' I totally dont believe in love and relationships anymore' and all those kind of stuff. It can be seen that he doesn't want a repeat of another time of this.

A=Acceptance

This is the final stage. The day when the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train coming at you. This is when all the questions had been answered, or maybe he felt that its not worth knowing already. Its when somehow he learnt to let go, and that truly wish the other person well. There will definitely be some form of awkwardness as well as there might be still some heart-tugging emotions still there, but he is much more at peace with himself. He is able to move on and to look at the world with hopeful eyes again.

This are so far a process that I had realised and I think that people have to undergo this at least once in their lifetime. Somehow, this will always force them to grow and all, however its not the least easy. Its painful, time-consuming and energy sapping. There is also no fixed time period for this, it varies for different relationships.

When one is tired...everything thing seems to be wrong...and the anarchist will emerged.

Focus. Insecurities. Future.

Yesterday, my stats lecturer whom I think is quite zai compared to my other teachers, said something like this " No great man will ever talk about their achievements, only an insecure person will talk a lot about themselves". Then, he used our all time well-known LKY as an example. LKY got a lot of PHDs, numerous awards...but it wasn't usually highlighted by himself. Bill gates and warren buffett never talk about how many billions they have.

It causes me to think that...hmm...hey thats rather true. A person will only confide in another or stuff, because only when he/she is unsure(insecure) about the situation or event that is happening in their lives. I used to think that by opening up about a lot of things about oneself is the way to go because its the way to socialize around, cuz last time in JC there was a friend of mine that always goes around telling people about his stuff and somehow he seems to have a lot of friends. Well, being the young naive then, thought thats how I should be as well. But in the end, the introvert in me still wins to a certain extent and I never managed to open up as much as him but just enough to know more friends.

Then, I was thinking about myself that actually I had been a rather insecure person as well...its not entirely because of muddy but rather me as a whole. I don't know whether I make the right decision, the way I want to move forward, the current me...and stuffs like these. It just seems that I am totally afraid of the future and what it might bring, whether I can still be the same me as I grew up...and all those things lor. I had thought of lots of plans, but I am unsure/lazy to carry them out...I am afraid of giving up the other side of things yet I know that this the way to go...Conclusion of the story: I am going to work on focusing and staying true to what I believed no matter what the situation dictates.

Along the Bus 151 route

Today is the start of my stats 2 module and somehow the class got a little smaller liao, because I think majority only takes stats 1 lor. And today jian yang as usual pangseh me again...he just woke up at 8.30 lor...wth...lolz and he supposedly slep earlier as well...haha. Well, I sort of wander SIM for awhile before tottering to the bus stop to take a bus back to home. So as usual, I opened various boxes in my head and was going through the contents.

Next week is her birthday liao and I haven't got her a present yet...GG...lolz I think its going to be last minute as usual liao...haha. Anws I was just thinking back from all the way 2 years ago all the way to recently. And I sort of came to a realization that all along it has been in some way, a huge part of my fault in how things have turn out and everything. I think it all started from wanting to forget someone to having her as a substitute to being totally guilt ridden towards her for being such an idiot. In any case, I also never truly tried to understand her for who she was, with her eccentricities and stuff like that though I am sure at the beginning I did and only when my emotions/demons take over, thats where the suffering( in me ) begins. And my expectations of her only seems to exacerbate the situation worse.

To some of my friends, I always tell them about me being guilty to her about in some way, not treating her as a close friend but she always see me as one. initially, I was afraid of getting too close to her because I had thought that if too close, then we can't be together and stuff like that. As you can see, I am quite a complicated person ain't I?? haha...and I am more crazy to be analyzing my ownself....haha. but I think this part is just me lor, I am very fascinated by why some things turn out in such a way and I like to know why it happened. So sometimes when I see her, I don't know what to say to her and stuff, and I would prefer to avoid her. Today on the bus, I sort of remember this phrase from somewhere" one of the most important things in life is to learn to forgive yourself, with this one can move on"...And I finally accepted that. Don't ask me how, I just sort of finally see everything at the end of the tunnel liao...and I just felt happier or should I put it relieved?=)

One thing that I had learnt from this experience is that even though one may know the truth, but to know the exact purest truth is difficult. Take this exp for instance, at the start, at the middle and finally at the end, I always knew where the problem was, where is the epicentre...I had foresee it before hand, I put on my utmost cautious protective gears against it but in the end, I still fell prey to it. Hence, I came to a conclusion. Is that I was influenced by the then situation and thus even if I knew the problem, I will still commit the same mistake. And sometimes u need the courage and strength to go against your emotions and be rational in a lot of things.

Another thing would be that no process can be complete until one goes through all the stages of it. I always try to avoid mistakes in my entire life, hence thats why I always think in every possible scenarios, so that I would be ready for anything and that I won't make a mess out of it. Well, apparently some mistakes are there to be made, if not a conclusion cannot be reached.

Somehow, I think such things might and will repeat again...I mean no one is definitely sure that I won't make the same mistakes again as well as situations differs and same mistakes can be camouflaged in the backdrop. Well but after 21 years I think, everytime a chapter truly ends is only when acceptance is truly accepted by oneself regardless of how it ends, or how long it takes to end. =)

Just had a nice dream=)...wasn't as crazy as the rest...just a simple and nice one...but its just a dream...

Its a Story About Love...

Yesterday, went out with LY after lesson and we went to sakae and eat, bless those student meals=D...then after that went to watch this movie. (500) Days of Summer...it was recommend by my sis for being kinda artsy fartsy kind lo. And its really nice, I thoroughly enjoyed it because it sort of detailed it very well and maybe cuz the emotions one can relate easily and stuff like that. The camera takes and the style of presentation were good=). I wont really say about the whole story but there will be definitely some spoilers from me, so hope u all don't mind...haha. Like the previous post, I will be commenting on some certain parts of the show.

1) We, humans are always self-denial at 1st.

In the opening stages, when boy meets girl, he was like WOW. Then when she was indifferent to him when he is trying to get her attention, he will be like. " Oh, No she is not interested in me" or "who am i kidding? haha she likes me? yeah rite" Even when at times when the girl is kind of obvious, he will still be like"erm.....yeah we are friends". haha. I think many are guilty of that, so am I..haha.

2) We only remember the Happy times and forgot the bad times.

This was coined by the male lead's sister, ok its supposed to be a funny scene and stuff. Anws, this is very true, I think its very normal human nature to be only hear and remember the good stuff, who wants to get close to the bad things I life man? And thru all of this, it creates a false illusion for all of us and cause us to act in an unnatural way when things goes wrong.

3) We all became bitter after break-ups or due to some weird reasons.

The guy was very critical of the girl after she just suddenly left his life without saying anything much. He was like " i hate her smile, her eyes....blah blah" I think this is usually dealing with the reasons of some relationships without closure because one side never comes clean with the other after some time, after one side kept replaying all the times ( happy times oni, mind u) again and again....dunno about girls, but I think guys might be kinda stuck with that...I am a true test sample for this.

4) There is always a flipside to everything.

When someone just exits ur life, one will try to submerged oneself in other dreams or other hobbies that makes one feel happier or wad. In the show, the guy totally quit his job, cuz he is sick and tired with everything that goes with it and in the end went back to pursue his own dream of being an architect. He went back to studying his stuff and somehow also managed to meet someone new who is along the same wavelength as he is. Thats the flipside, people.

5) Somehow, there is a part that someone plays in everyone's life. Including yours.

Before the guy appears in the gal's life, she never believes in love, fate and blah blah. The guy challenged her belief in that, and even though they broke up in the end , somehow I think those words stuck with her and it allows her to meet her future husband and stuff like that. That day, I was invited to her birthday chalet, with this sentence that I pointed out. Maybe things didn't turn up well, or somehow the bond might have been lost but nonetheless, we are who we are because of all that connected with us. Some will stay by us for a long time, some just come and go, thats part and parcel of life .

6) Expectations and Reality.

I like this scene in the movie, when they split the screen into 2 and show what the guy is expecting and what is actually happening in reality. And when reality don't goes his way, he was brought down uber hard because of his expectations which was rather high, it seems. It happens to me very often, I always thought that by doing this, there will be a similar result or smthg. like if I flip a coin, it should be heads because I stick a small plasticine on the other side, but it became tails. I think with expectations, it must be coupled with a margin for error if not things are gonna be hard to accept.

SIGNS

This one of the 2009 winning entries for Cannes this year, its directed by Patrick Hughes. Its basically about communication and things like that. Watch the video to find out more. This video somehow showacases a lot of things within its short 12 minute frame.

1)The boredom of an office aka city life
It truly depicts how boring and mundane life is in the city area and when I was working for like half a year, its was the same feeling as well. Uber routine life, machiam like army...but like army there is a sense of fun in it as people fools around...haha. But, there are some places where work means work and because the company is a profit-driven area, there ain't much of a choice unless u are GOOGLE>.<

2)When one finds something extraordinary (or someone in this case), life becomes much brighter.
Evidently, from the video, Jason's life became much happier as well as the tone of the lighting in his house became brighter and he starts to enjoy going to work as he found someone fun/different in Stacey. So maybe, what we can do in life, is just be as fun and spontaneous everyday as you never know who you might meet and who you can brighten his/her day. Ol course, this is difficult to achieve as everyone has their moods and problems in life.

3)Somethings are just a window away.
Well this video, there is some elements of romance in it as Stacey did tell Jason that she had been observing him first and stuff like that. And Jason was all flustered when she was promoted to a higher position which means another level up...haha literally. Sometimes, one is so caught up with one's life that he doesn't notice his surroundings around him.

4)A bit weird but good way of communication.
It looks a bit off to see such a way of communication in such a serious setting like an office but it is a way to...I think...you know de-stress and to satisfy the human desire to communicate with someone else. Its like me and pbj way of conversations which are very very lame to the max and to both of us, its a way of de-stressing and a way for me to look forward from time to time to have some lame times to keep me sane...haha

Reading of Sunday Times...

Today I was reading the Sunday times article about Daring to Dream written by Lee Wei Ling, who is also MM's daughter. I always find her articles to be quite provocative at times and yet rather insightful as well. Well, there ain't many such articles that one can find in Singapore...haha..She was commenting on her dad's dreams for singapore and his visions. Apparently, during the 1980s, he was telling then one of our key strategic advisors, Dr Winsemius, that one day there will be a huge freshwater lakes in the Marina Bay area. And that in the near future, with possible advancements in technology, we will be able to make the waters clean and and drinkable and with the waters using for recreational purposes as well.

To say the truth, I am seriously quite impressed with this guy foresight and vision for something that might not even happen in the future. Most people have dreams, long term plans but only a small group of individuals are able to achieve this. Because they have the skills and strategies to plan and execute in the short run which many don't. Vision is one thing but execution is seriously another thing all together. Also, to convince people to subscribe to the idea is also a skill to have. After reading this article, I feel that having dreams/ambitions is not enough, the courage and skills and the power of the human mind has to be present as well to make the dreams a reality.

I think the ending portion the author made a small remark that the current generation may not be tough enough to be daring enough to go and pursue their dreams and that we cant take hardship. I feel that different generation have different views on hardship and yes I do have to agree that the younger ones are definitely aint as tough as the old guard. But I am sure that there will be capable and yet tough people of our generation to lead this country on into the future.

Mind Jolting Moment

Mind Jolting Moment

Yesterday, went to bishan for prawning with the bball gang plus Ming jie. Bloody expensive if u ask me at 30 dollars for a rod....we ended up sharing among ourselves. Haha. Not to bad , cuz I caught around 5 prawns I think though I missed like 8 others. So potential haul might be 13!!!!!! Rofl. =D

It's around 1 plus am where I started to hang out beside yan cong that side and he was asking me about school. Saying why I never make friends, then not expanding my networking and stuff and tht I should join a cca to get some leadership positions and stuff as well as be more involve in CIP related stuff. I was like, hmm see how...this kind of mode. Then said now trying to pick up the speed and stuff...then maybe December around there start doing exams papers and stuff. He replied super fast:"Is that a plan or is that an excuse?". "why not do it now?" I totally tio stunned.

I had a quick flashback back to secondary school days. The yan cong I know is always damn fun-loving( though now also lah) and seems to have a heck care atititude to stuff but I know if he wants to prove smthg, he will go all out kind. All of a sudden, he seems to have change, he is thinking of the future, he is working towards smthg. Sometimes, to put it bluntly, he is not someone who dishes out such stuff to people unlike ren or Johnny those kind.

PROCRASTINATE. That was the word tht pop in my head. Somehow, I managed to even make myself believe that I am not even procrastinating at all...wow...how pro is that ? Truly the strength of the human mind. Everytime I think of a metaphor to describe the situation, is that its like a marathon. The starting is always the most difficult part. I felt like I am not moving at all, its like jogging on the spot.

Going back to yan cong, wonder is it because of getting attached have gotten him to be more mindful of the future or is it because of being a spec thats why it has cause him to be more responsible and stuff like that? haha

Singtel Singapore Grand Prix 2009

And Hamilton wins the Singapore GP 2009. It was not like last year where there was much hoo ha over the inaugural night race in F1 History as well as the fight for the driver's championship between hamilton and massa. This year, there are mistakes by both vettel and rosberg, especially with the pit lanes incidents. And think one of the red bull teams just show us an exact replica of the 'Massa' incident yesterday night. Sutil blur blur tried to get back on track and cause heidfield to crash out of the race...and apparently he was fuming...lolz...

To me, F1 singapore is just to see singapore in another light, and to see if there are crashes again and maybe overtakings(which ain't much yesterday). Its quite amusing to hear the commentators keep talking/praising our anderson bridge and old supreme court. As well as the wags of the drivers....haha. And nicole of PCD was damn funny, after lewis won, the camera zoom at her and she was like " WOO" pause "WOO" pause as she is leaving, then turn around and "WOO" again....wth...a bit bimbo-ing from her hur. And our PM looks uber stiff there, ahaha maybe he has a lot of other things in his mind then passing a trophy to lewis...and once the champagne was open...he was whisked away...haha maybe his minders are afraid that the 3 drivers might just pour all over him..lolz.

Knowing it and executing it is two very different words.

Executing is much difficult to start.

What role are u playing on this stage?

Just heard this phrase from Shakespeare which goes something like this:

"The world is a stage. Men and Women are just players or actors on this stage. And one man can play many roles on this stage."

When I heard this, I immediately thought of LOTR. haha...cuz in tolkien's books, he told that the entire world was created by an almighty god and that he created different beings as well as lower gods like himself to manage the world. These lower gods use music to determine the world as well as use their influence over the different beings, and eventually created a perfect melody for the world and hence to show to the almighty god. Now, isnt this as similar to Shakespeare idea of the world as a stage? Which makes me wonder whether was tolkien's idea of middle earth based from shakespeare ideology? or is it based on some kind religious view with christianity?(that many had draw similarities from)...having said that, is shakespeare based from christianity ? assuming that if tolkien is based on both of them...haha...linkages man=P

Oh and FYI, I heard this phrase from an old Singapore movie" I Do, I Do"...haha and it was mark lee's character that said it de...haha...weird hur.

CITIGROUP
Recently, there had been much hype over Citigroup shares only worth US$4.52 as of 230909. Apparently,this morning on reuters, citigroup was said to be planning to cut down its US network to just 6 metropolitan areas in the states. And they also plan to limit its consumer lending business like credit cards and huge mortgages which caters to the more affluent customers. Another pointer to note was that the US govt. holds up to 35% of citi's shares and that they were pumped in with cash from the govt. twice.

So are they cutting costs because they need to increase more liquidty to find more assets to back their monsterous debt they have? And by limiting their lending business means that they are unwilling to lend more as they have less liquidity to back the loans. From my own perspectives, I think they are undergoing some major restructuring in their company's reserves and their asset allocation structure. We can expect more changes from them I think, and the price of their share will go even furthur down...but of course when will it stop and appreciate, i dun know and what's its fair price to own that share, i also dun knw. However the layman out there are hoping that they will rise back to its US$45 at least....i think it will take a long time for it to reach such heights again, due to all the changes and the potential regulations that the obama adminstration is going to impose on the financial sector in the USA. Well, heard that its fundamentals are quite good(havent check yet by me..haha), so it might very well be the steal of the crisis yet.=P

Facebook: New Era of Communication

Yesterday was at NUS visiting Pig. Felt a bit overwhelm by the place...haha though it aint my 1st time there. Saw some ppl graduating le as they borrow their grad clothes or smthg outside the co-op. Then I was imagining what if I am a NUS student, haha seems so stress everywhere and all...maybe cuz I went during the exam period thats why. So I was at FASS the com lab there, waiting with Pig to print her stuff and surf FB lor. I updated my status and mass-people reply me...ahaha...and one was even in NUS FASS as well!!!...haha

During the course of the 'NUS tour', Pig ask me why some people update their status and why some twit around like they want everyone in the world to know about every minute and second of their life. Given with these new technology and all, I think this is how we as humans want to reach out to everyone out there lor. Its like having your friends besides u when u exclaimed something and that everyone is able to say their views on the spot. Some media sources like to term it as the new media, and FB is such a great tool to use in some ways, like stalking people;P, looking at the good-looking(if they permit) and as well as recruitment firms or future employers to recce on their employees or potential employees as well. Entrepreneurs may even use FB to promote their products as well as use it as a form of direct communication with the public. So, FB has been integrated so much into all our lives, but I think nothing can still beat face 2 face or rather 'live' communication between people lor. Maybe FB can be used as a tool to connect with the others who we have been too busy to communicate with and as a way to pass time (FB Games such as Mousehunt)

Illusions

Two entry ago, I talk about the notion of perceptions playing a significant role in our everyday life and how it can even clouded out five senses. This clearly shows the strength of our human mind where it seems that it can erode all logic from us. So maybe this entry is also something related to it, its on illusions. Illusions are something that causes our senses to be tricked. In some sense, one can phrased it as our senses are clouded.

Recently, I found this very very huge illusion which have been clouding my senses for a very long time le. In some way, I shouldn't have allow it to happened, I let my imagination grew and grew, grew into something that seems second nature to me and that it soon became a definite way of how I should react to things and stuff. Its really kinda sucky if you ask me, for so long you thought you are right and that everything is just normal...but actually its not and that I kept running away. Right now, the illusion still exists but I am still trying to reject it, because I know that if I continue to persists with this illusion, I will want to expect something out of this, and it will turn me into a more petty person and all. I will feel uber bad and all...the cold turkey is seriously shiong man...keeps playing with the emotions...lolz...lousy.

One Year On...

It has already been a year since the world's financial industry suffers it greatest setback in history ever since the Great Depression and has affected various countries around the globe. Luckily somehow or rather, the Asian economies prevail although our economies have also taken quite a significant hit. We all knew how the crisis came about after many media sources have taken great lengths to publicise and let the world know about the situation. Now one year on, has the economy finally recovers, for those that had follow the markets for the past few months or rather weeks, there had been various indicators that global economy is picking up with the US market more stable then a year ago but it is still low as compared to the boom before 2008. Singapore markets also had seen some rise this few weeks and GDP which reflect the country production of goods and services and economic performance, is good. Well just to add, this are info. that I had pick up from the papers, so I am not so pro yet to say where the economy is heading or not...lolz...maybe once I procrastinate less, I might learn more and see it better...lol

If I am not wrong, FM Mr Tharman said that the recent indicators of growth in the economy is not substantial, its because it is based on the public perception that the economy is doing well again and all but the market is not seeing an inflow of investments yet from the companies or lending instituitions themselves so it means that some companies out there are still struggling as the actual demand for goods aint there yet and the companies realised it yet, however people out there felt that economy is bouncing back and all. Well, I do not know whether is it true a not, but previously when Robert Miles came for his talk in Singapore, he commented that he is still seeing people shopping happily as if we aren't in a technical recession at all, whereas in the states one can noticed that people are going for more budget items and packages instead of maybe branded goods? So, maybe he is right?

Anws it has been quite awhile since I last read my investment book le, I better hurry up if not once it is due to be return back to library, I wasted time again...lolz...

What is Real, What is Fake?


In today's 'Mind Your Body' section of the Straits Times, there is this every fortnightly article written by a psychologist, and he explores various issues regarding our mind and the subconscious. Its about how our memory and even our five senses make mistakes. Like the author put in one The Beatle's song, he heard 'I buried... paul' whereas the actual words are 'cranberry sauce'. This shows that due to certain preconceptions that we humans have can alter one's perceptions. Another interesting example is scientists prepared a stack of cards of which there is a black four of hearts(4<3)and other kind of anomalies, we know this is wrong right? The scientists got people to come and find the wrong card in a selected period of time, the people named the wrong cards as being normal cards like the black 4<3 as 4 spades. Later when the scientists gave them a much longer time to examine the cards. Some managed to find the faults, but there are some who took 40 times more than the average person to find them.

Now I find this piece of article kinda intriguing, because it is saying that our minds can play tricks on us. Even our senses can be totally wrong. So is it wrong to follow our gut feeling or rather intuition then?? Well, I am more of the IDEALIST kind in some psychological survey about my character and apparently I am the kind that always follows my gut feeling in a lot of decisions and situations, isn't that make me the kind that will make a ton of mistakes due to my preconceptions about things? What if my preconceptions have clouded my judgement? my gut feeling ? That sounds like a huge problem isn't ?=) And the solution is....I DONT KNOW. HAHA..seriously, cuz it seems that to avoid such a problem is that one should adopt a totally logical and rationale approach to life right? Well...though I am an advocate for rational approach to many things, I am also a strong believer in the intangibles side of life as well. ie feelings between one another, bond and ties between friends and family members.

On hindsight, there had been various cases about me making the wrong calls as well as wrong moves due to my false preconceptions of things. Like when in the past, when muddy did some actions or comments, I lapped it up immediately and saw it in a totally different perspective from her. Which brings me to a point, where I assumed that it got to be that, but in actual fact, from her point of view, its nothing to even begin with. Or to put it in some way, I regard her as MTF(though now I not so sure lah), but she regard me as JGF.A philosopher once said, " to be happy, one must have no expectations" , in other words to be reach the so call goal which in this case is happiness, one must be able to see through the preconceptions that might have come with the goal which in this case is expectations of the meaning happiness.

Now if u ask me, why I bother to go thru this article and its motions...haha maybe its because to console myself? or to make myself a more carefree person?...maybe its because of her?...lolz...one can never truly comprehend the true intentions of someone when it comes to relationships between people. So I think what I am trying to say here is, try to not let preconceptions cloud your thinking and
rationality at times but do not be sad when you err, because which humans don't err.=)

NTU Tour

Today after stats lesson went to NTU to meet up with some of them and to see the halls there. James totally pawned jy and me as we waited for him at hall 1 only for him to change to NIE...luckily kenneth came by over to meet up with us then we went over to NIE for lunch. Somehow we managed to meet up with all the plt 5 ppl in NTU=D. Its great to be able to see them again. Saw andrew as well on the way. So the first stop, we went to ed and kenneth room, which was at Hall 14. Coincidentally, they are the same hall as jon and wei ren. And seriously their rooms are nice, but a bit stuffy. After tuang there for awhile, we went to boon's bunk and its kinda squeezy the corridor and stuff but almost the same as ed's one. GK pop by for awhile and SC join us for awhile...felt like a tourist in NTU, got that kind of '1st time see hall' feeling.

Then after jy went to find his friend and SC looking for benny, I went to find li sian. And her place is coolz man, so bright and her residence got a lift!!!OMG to the max...helped her do some edit-ing of her ppt slides, but I just glance through only lor. 1st impression was it wasn't very impressive at all, but well maybe their lecturer wants it to be like that. Oh wells...then got her to show me the chio gals in her course.Unexpectedly, saw some familiar guy faces in as well...lolz...Saw some of her readings, looks cheem but I was wondering whether is there a need for quotes and all sort of stuff like that...hmm but its kinda interesting lah, organisation behavior.

After that, its a long long ride home back to serangoon....super long sia=$

Emotions

Just now was having another of those interesting talk with jian yang over some rather thought provoking issues...We were like going through the idea behind cause and effects and how Einstein seems to use that idea a lot as well and that we also try to use it as some sort of explanation between a relationship between 2 persons. Then he said a friend ask him this:" Is there a need to explain emotions?" JY was stunned and kept quiet...haha and when JY told me, I was like..oh..yeah..hmm...it struck me somewhere in my memory when someone told me that before as well. I would say that friend of his is very observant, or rather he hit the jackpot.

WHY? How come some of us want to explain the emotions of humans? the complexity that lies behind all our doings.Maybe its because we want to console ourselves in the sense that for every problem there is an answer for it and thats why it happen. Maybe because we want to sound knowledgeable to others. Maybe we just want to understand it better so that we will never make the same mistake as others.Or maybe its just in built in some of us because of our inquisitiveness and our thirst to explain, to make it simple for others to follow.

In my case, I am guilty of a couple of reasons there.

Habits

Someone said before that after much practice, one will be an expert at it, that it seems 2nd nature to them to be so good at it. In this sense, its consider a good habit because this habit allows us to keep going forward as well as to make us be good at some things in life. Its almost allows us to be automated, in built in us. However, sometimes unconsciously we got ourselves into certain habits that bring us and others more harm then good. In my case, maybe its that because it had already became 2nd nature to me to see her in such a way, to treat her..to have certain feelings and outbursts..even though I knw deep down, it will never work out de. Its such habits that cloud everyone's judgment as well as vision on things around them. It forces them into self-denial, even when evidence is clearly right in front of them and of course emotions doesn't help the cause as well I would say.Looks like I got to undergo the cold turkey treatment already.

Updates

Well well...it seems that blogger UI is getting more and more irritating and annoying...whats with the small box on the left to type sia...lose...lolz..tried wordpress but then can't really get use to it leh...so forget it lor...ahaha...but the account is still there, maybe one day I might used lor....=P

Hmm its been awhile since I last blog liao...actually its only like 2 weeks lor...and pig is chasing me with a rod...oks the rod part was fake...bleahz..not fair leh, u never blog for a month, I never say anything but I only 2 weeks and u start chasing me...ROFL...

Hmms...here are the updates=P...

Studies
is like that lor...seems much less stressful than the peeps at NUS and NTU, total only 12 hrs lessons in a week..no projects...totally slack...haha..or so I thought...After last week PBF lessons, felt that there are too many things to catch up and stuff...forgoing $42 bucks liao...haha cuz aint going to work on thursday liao...need more time if not I weekends totally no life liao...eh wait I always weekends no life as well right??ROFL...

Health is so far so good. Except now I got 2 bloody irritating ulcers in my mouth...tried to use salt yesterday...searing pain but quite effective sia..hehe...but pain lor...definitely not for the faint hearted.;P

$$ is stagnant, spent too much this month and salary looks set to drop as well since thursday not working liao.

Family also oks, ernest exams coming,maine is stressing over NTU...lolz...and my granny going to melbourne to visit my uncle and dear cousins...lucky sia...ROFL...

Love-life...hehe bet most very interested in this right?? the hottest topic of the entry right??...lolz...and the long awaited answer is ...*drum rolls* stagnant!!!!..now isn't that fascinating...haha...well..think SIM no lack of good looking girls..but well, maybe sianz already or just don't really care about such stuffs liao or whatsoever...lolz

Natsu Matsuri 2009

Well last saturday went to Natsu Matsuri 2009 at japanese school(changi). Its was an interesting experience I have to say, with so many japanese people around me and the atmosphere was great.There were games like yo-yo water balloons and strings game...haha. Only Jerrold and me went...rest cannot make it and we just watch the performances lor, we also did the bon-oduri dance at the last 45 minutes...lol..its hillarious. Imagine 2 tall guys trying to do some traditional japanese folk dances...pics are on fb. the videos will try to upload here lor...haha...dont want to throw my image away in fb...ROFL...Met eunice there as well, and as usual she is always enthu. and jumping around...haha...sadly think she is quitting work this friday le...so less one person to talk at work...saded...

If you join 2 (L)s and tilt it 45 degrees each, it becomes a winner(W)....haha...thats what I came out with jerrold when I started emo-ing...haha and he was trying to distract me from thoughts in my mind. Realised that both of us are in the same kind of boat..haha..time to be a man he says...lol

A Singaporean's Pride

Recently I went to an investment workshop or rather it can be seen as a get to know WB better. The speaker is Robert Miles who is a renowned WB expert and as written a couple of WB books and all. He was quite a good speaker with his jokes and all. Well there is something that he spoke which I felt was quite significant, he was talking about 240 years of American History and that how it have always been quite uncertain and all. Then he spoke of how WB and CM and himself often acknowledge Singapore and how that we had achieved such rapid economical progress within a span of just 4 decades in our uber short island history. And just yesterday I was reading on ST forum about a comment made by a Singaporean that there have been 2 many negative bloggers in singapore already and that we should acknowledge the work of the present government and that they should like back off a little.

Well, to me I think that when I hear those words from robert's mouth, it does feels me with pride and that all of a sudden its good to be singaporean. Of course, one might discount it as pure lip service but it is truly amazing when one thinks back and 30 years ago, life aint like this and all...maybe being the Gen Y that we are now, we never truly experience the drastic change that the Gen X and the baby boomers undergo and hence in a way we might be more skeptical of the government here. Having said that, being negative is also good because it gives the present government a lot of critical feedback from the public unlike in the past, where public opinion was difficult to obtain or whatsoever. But of course, the negative comments must be back up with sufficient evidence and all. If not, one will be kenna 'shoot' down by M^2 recently. lolz

AHM 2009 or rather AQM(Army Quarter Marathon)



I ran 10km hence the AQM because half of 21km(AHM) is quarter lor. And I got to say one thing, I really suck big time...lose sia...slower by at least 30 minutes!! Total failure sia. haha. Met my previous commanders like yi xiang,wilson and shawn. Apparently PS not running because of some injury or smthg...lolz...its feel great to just run sia....and its like there is nothing else to bother except the finishing point as well as the drink station or maybe its because of the adrenaline.=P Somehow its just feel great to run 10 km and be part of something like that as well...haha its just sugoi...haha. Oh and I also met zi ling as well, she was running 21km sia...her 3rd year le, I only ran for the past 2 years only...haha..see how maybe I will run for next year.

Lets leave it to fate.

I have frequently been having such words bumping around in my head. One can see it as an excuse, one can also see it as a way of consolation. Do we really leave things to fate? Do we just carelessly use the word 'fate' because we don't want to face the reality?

Nonetheless, I do agree that there are things in life where it is totally out of our control. No one could have predicted a typhoon will strike Taiwan and china recently in a year ago. So yes, fate do still play a role in our daily lives.

However, for certain 'fates' to occur, man must be pro-active in certain ways so that the probability of things that are 'fated' to happen will happen. For example, people said that its fated that the recent sub-prime financial crisis that just happened in the not too long distant past. Because, going by the trend then a financial crisis should have occur around this period.But,had someone or rather the US financial industry step in and rectify the problem of issuing sub-prime loans or derivatives to various parts of the financial market, then the crisis might not have happened. As one can see, this fated incident might not have happened, had there been some intervention by the authorities.Ultimately fate is still very much determine by what one does, or rather the amount of fate that one has. And maybe that's the reason I don't really believe in being lucky, and hence I don't really like lottery. Though I do buy lotteries during the CNY...lol...well humans all like the element of surprise mah...hehe...but of course I never win ever since my virgin experience.lol. Having said that, I don't mean that one have to keep buying until one day you strike big. Maybe one can studies the probabilities and gauge the probabilities of the number coming out? In this way, ur fated strike may be more frequent.

In a nutshell, without some work done, fate might not happened to u as well. But having said that, there are def. anomalies in life that no matter what one does, fate just seems to eludes you.=)

Thoughts On NDP 2009

NDP 09



This year's NDP was the first year that I am catching it in the comfort of my home/grandma's house. For the past 2 years, I have been always at ground zero. 2007 was doing logistics support at NDP because it is done by engineers and there are no complaints with being involved in the VIP section as well as always skip trainings to help out with logistics support=P. 2008 volunteered to do security coverage because of 2 off days...haha...and its damn boring of course. So never really be able to catch the NDP at all lor.

Somehow while watching it this year, found it to be rather arty plus it involves the culture of our nation and our history though its a bit. I kinda forgot that before raffles there is this guy called sang nila utama that set foot on this place earlier.Lol. So its quite good to have the NDP to once in awhile refresh our memories about our singapore history.

Some says that its propaganda which I tend to agree...but however I have another way of seeing it. Let me bring u back into time, where the dinosaurs still roam. Humans were in small groups and obviously is a scattered bunch of species here and there. Now, in every of this groups, there will always be a tou(aka leader)Every now and then, or before each hunt, the 'tou' will always give a rally/pep talk. The elders will always share true stories(which will eventually become myths/legends) about whoever did this brave thing, about events to the younger ones. Of course all these differs from various groups. And what do u all classified this? Propaganda. So since long ago, propaganda can be seen as a way to unite a group of people and to justify a cause/to create an identity. However, of course propaganda means using selective information to lead us to a particular cause, which sounds very much like manipulation. Hence, propaganda must be used for the right cause if not then its definitely very much like manipulation. Again this will heavily depends on the propagandists, are they the good or bad?

Therefore in a way, NDP every year could be seen as a rally point for our citizens as well as to come and appreciate the 44 years of our history on this island. Oh and of course, the showcase of our military strength year after year-_-"""...haha.Oh one more thing, the government never seriously control our media/knowledge from overseas unlike some nations elsewhere hence it ain't that bad. Ok i sound very pro-gov. haha...but of course there are other things that I felt that the gov. can improve and felt that some laws are well..plain redundant. I guess in life there is always give and take right? to receive one, u got to throw another away.

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed



Actually the above pic is just something that I grab from the net..haha...and coincidentally the wordings are quite apt.Haha...Well, on saturday I woke up to find myself rather emo and hence the title: Waking on the wrong side of the bed...lolz. When I woke up, such thoughts flow thru my mind:"Why am I still single?", "Did I make any mistake in the past?", " Will the future be dull?" and this and that. Hence, it ain't the best start of a saturday anyone can have. Met up at night with ting han, was hoping can have a long chat with him but turn out that eventually he had to leave early cuz of family matters. So didnt really talk with him much, but enough to lift my spirits up a bit=). Went to the old place and just think it thru lor. Saw sam and paul though, but I guess that because they saw a bugger at the place they went further down. So I took a walk lor, walking is good seriously, I can definitely think better when walking around rather then sit down and do nothing. Anyways, so was talking to myself throughout(like mother like son...ROFL), came to realised that certain things I had been avoiding again=,=. And also another thing about conforming to the norm. Or rather my reasons for conforming isn't very good as well. Rmbr shannen told me something that she doesn't believe that life is boring, she will never describe hers as boring even if she ain't doing anything. She is the kind that sees a silver lining in every dark clouds. So after an hour walk and reasoning with myself, I sort of settle it within myself...but the flow of thoughts I had already forgotten liao...hehe...

The De-militarised Zone in Korean Peninsula

Just caught a short 5 minute part of an episode on discovery channel. Its about the DMZ in the Korean peninsula. Its about the eco-habitat that has sprung up in that region with its eagles,deers and other species that are considered rare on this planet. The show ended with a very interesting liner: " The price of war and destruction was paid for the growth of this accidentally founded natural habitat.

Pessimism

Well, it just starts the cog wheels in my mind to start turning. There must always be a price to pay no matter how the situation seems to be. In this context, without the Korean war, the DMZ will never be form and that modernization might have crept into the region and the animals will never be able to enjoy the habitat there. It is like economics, there will always be opportunity costs in this world, because scarcity will forever exists. Nothing is ever finite. Even happiness. Some may differ. One argument might be What about monks who have obtained enlightenment?? Or ie infinite happiness? Well, for such a group of special people, their definition of scarcity has no boundaries because they don't set any boundaries at all. I don't make sense right? haha...so its just for you to have some food for thought here. To the rest of us, we place boundaries in our definition of scarcity, we place certain markers whether unconsciously or deliberately. Maybe for many of us, some always feel that happiness is forever eluding us, some may feel that they are blessed enough already because they have achieved it already. To those that feels that they are blessed, what happen if one day the source(s) of your happiness is taken away from you, will you still be happy? will u not grieved? From this sentence, aren't I right that to you, happiness is still measured in some ways or other, hence its still finite. Ok. I sound a tad pessimistic here but well... its my thoughts lor...lol...So maybe the saying of " I dont have any expectations, thats why I am happy" is true to some extent.

IPO

Anyway recently, there was this IPO that my mum got me to recce about eventually open at 70 cents per share and the rumour mongers( which I call the papers) are saying that it will go up furthur...I can foresee that its still going up next week. Actually, its my first time recce on the stock itself and was going thru its prospectus of around 200 pages long. Initial look was that it's really good with the business in experienced hands and is considered to be an integral part of the plant maintenance industry here is Singapore along with Rotary though its much smaller in size. However, to me long term looks a bit blurry...I had sort of a hunch that it will a good way to earn quick money and see-ing from the recent news, yeah it rose by 75% for a share. From what it seems, this company needs the extra funding which is to be listed, is to get funds to fund their purchase of more equipment to continue their expansion. They haven't even managed enough contacts in the middle east to get projects there and thats where they are heading towards. But they also do have valuable customers like Shell Eastern and Exxonmobil in Singapore to ensure their credibility and cashflow but I didn't go and find out how long and how big are their projects with their customers. I think I need to go read up more on Ben graham's security investor. haha

Oks...now the new blogger posting template doesn't allows us to change the font plus colour and everything...wth..or is it only me? Hmm...then how do one change the font of the entries??Lol..any experienced bloggers help??...hahaI sounds noobish...lolz

in 2 hours of time, going to school le...sia lah damn fast can...I wonder how it will all turn out man...since its lectures on the first day and collection of notes. We shall see lor..anw hopefully can do well in the first year and able to maintain my other commitments as well. Haha...well well pray lor.

The world we know as...is it really that scary?

Recently, JY been telling me about his frenz in NTU and how they organise hall camps and stuff like this...its really kinda hei an, if u ask me..its really sucks to see people treated like an auctionable things...

Then going on, JY also says how hall life is in NTU and stuff, it just dawn on me the very fact that actually maybe we all are..no some of us are in our little comfort zone and that the society or world out there aint that rosy as what it seems...I mean like ppl screwing around and stuff and all...flings, one night stands and stuff like that...Well its just kinda un-nerving to know many are like that because its the norm and all...

But I would very much like to hold on to the notion that these are maybe a portion of the population who are like that...however again this is quite crazy.Of course I am afraid whether will I conform to this and all, awhile back with the convo with JY, it all seems rather scary and I dont know whether I got the nerve to put my foot down and believe in certain values and all...

Taiwan 2009

Well well...it has been a rather long time since I last blog liao...hehe...a bit kinda lazy to blog nowadays. Anws I am back from taiwan le!!!...haha its been rather fun and interesting to go on an overseas trip with the guys and its cool to roam around in a foreign land...basically we did little sight-seeing but mostly shopping and eating lor.

We initially wanted to go to hua-lian but due to jon's strong reaction and yc's after-reality-sinks in reaction we decieded to forsake it lor. I will def. say that the food is shiok!!! But god damn oily as well!! lol...clothes are not bad and trendy clothes are cheap even if they are not branded =D...oh and the people there are super friendly, which is cool...lol...

As u can see in the entry that I posted in taiwan, met ella and jerry yan at dan shui which is also super cool to know that they are filming right in front of us. We also wanted to find a pub and in the end ended up in a red-light district...lolz...and met with 2 pimps along the way...plus a horny cabby and an uncle with 6 wives...wow...lolz

Taipei 101 is a def. must for anyone going to taipei, its like damn cool to be at 91st storey with the wind blowing at u and that u are as high as a mountain and stuffs like that, super uber cool. Took a lot of pics with the guys at the top except yc who wants to be practical. Dont mind camping there sia, spent a total of 1 hour up there sia. Tried to communicate with some japanese, totally fail..ahaha.

Of cuz there were tai mei(s) everywhere, lolz....actually the diff. i think between singaporeans gals and taiwan gals are cuz taiwan gals do really dress up even though the weather can be such a bane. Actually the guys as well,hmm think that the taiwanese place a lot of emphasis on looks and stuff like that lor.

Caught a live performance by a wannabe singer in Xi men ding, which is kinda cool and sort of respect her and all. Cuz its like..u know its seriously amazing that their desire to succee, to live their dream is so strong to compel this lady to every now and then to go to the centre of xi men ding to sing and all...truly earn my respect man.

So actually overall, its had been a good trip and now life shall starts all over again le. Anws pics can be found in my fb , so go and take a look lor=).

Taiwan day 2

Today went to dan shui and saw ella and jerry yan filming some idol drama and ella was kinda cute with the mushroom hairstyle=P. Went around the entire dan shui looking for the 稀奇博物官 and after 2 hours of walking up and down , asking numerous locals, we finally found it. And conclusion was it's nothing much sia.

Ate lots of food and tin was eating desserts as if it's his lunch and stuff !!! LOL.

Worse thing was that I bought this shirt that's too small looks like it's going to Maine le!!! WTF!!! Then got a shirt that's too big!!! Wah kao!!! that's it tml I am going to choose properly and get my shoes...hehe and still got some gifts haven get yet,,,,,GG

A weird world we are in...

Was just reading the papers and had some random thoughts about it.

In Yemen, hostages were killed as local tribes or rebels like to use them as bargaining chips against the government for money purposes.

In Iran, protestors were killed, or so far only one cuz this person felt that there was some rigging in the elections that was held recently.

Even the great USA also have their problems. When news on how they torture prisoners were leak out. It's pretty scary sia

Of cuz, not least recently christiano ronaldo, kaka and most prob villa moves to real Madrid ..... Astronomical figures were paid for the skills that possess

What a world we live in man. I think the state of the world we are in might be determined by situation, greed, manipulation and selfishness. The dark side of mankind.

Coke-fied

Yesterday, went to do another round of coke....this time its being a runner and its damn s*** sia..got to put my hands in freezing cold water every time, think jy and me kenna semi 1st degree frostbite sia...lolz...seriously jia lat...think jy got it worse. Ohs well but its not bad lah, half way got some flash mobs that came out and start doing a dance in the middle of orchard road...its for coke btw. So kinda cool and Muttons were damn comical as usual. the techno music was kinda nice and all.

Singapore Idol

This morning, went to follow GK, benny and SC down to support james for his SG idol auditions. met up with them late because thot they might wake up late and all...lolz...they were all on time sia...ROFL...super PS. Anws, eventually went to cathay to meet up with james. Upon reaching there, we realised that there was a super super long queue sia...and to our great surprise, James was still like at home!!!...when he came, he went to queue up with jerrold, and the wow-ers all went to gk house for mahjong le...so I stayed back with jerrold and james lor...its super hot and I kept on KB about waiting for a long time in queue sia...for me I def. wont wait de, I will just forget it...

Saw the huge turnout...around near 1000?? i think...although it is small comparing to the entire singapore population. But its still a substantial amount of people that turn out and only the 1st 500 can get today's audition, others like james will have to wait till next week lor. I think this shows that there are many out there who want to sing and hopefully make it big by becoming a singer. Which to me is quite interesting cuz i thot most singaporeans will have the 'survival' mentality and put the 'chasing dreams' at one corner....and interestingly enough, more than 4000 people turns out at the cathay last saturday.

Coke promotion

Last weekend, I work over the weekends promoting Coke Zero, its pretty simple, its just giving out free coke and shifting coke bottles from lorries to various points. 60 per day, so its rather good and we work like 5 hours only, so kinda good but f******* Shag after the 1st day. Only drink we can drink is Coke Zero O.0....staying off coke for next few months man!!...So basically, we are shouting: Coke Zero!!!, Zero Sugar!!, Same Cola Taste!!...of cuz there are other versions soon like : Coke Zero!!!, Zero Sugar!!, Zero Dollar!!, Its FREE!!!, FREE COKE!!!!.......or even:Coke Zero!!!, Zero Sugar!!, Same C*** Taste...and folks that was coined by a girl...ROFL.

Stand in the sun, with one side of the t-shirt being long sleeve and the other being short...one side tanned , the other white...WTH....lolz....Also on sunday, work at parkway parade doing the same stuff. then the people there were like si bei siao!! Got a few guys push my hand away when i was giving out the coke, soon everyone was doing that!!. I was shocked lor!!! there were kids in front as well...I was like super pissed off...I slammed the lid and shouted: " EH ONLY COKE LEH!! U ALL CANNOT AFFORD AT SUPERMARKET AH!!...free only like that, every courtesy out of the window!!"...get them to queue also difficult...that one I understand, everyone wants to get one fast but at least queue when we say lah...free also must do some 'work' mah... But overall, ok lah...just that no weekend lors..anws...I also majority of my weekend free de...

Supposed to be doing ribena today, cuz want to help james out....then thought got YC the birthday, so never...in the end, cancel le...i was like...oh man...could have work for another 60 bucks today...oh well...nvm lor...it seems that I kind of just want to keep myself occupied sia...haha. Anws, for pics, please refer to my facebook under GK's belated birthday celebration lor.